


Consign me not to Darkness

by ChinaDoll



Category: Free!
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Alternate Universe, Amnesia, Burning buildings, Chef!Haurka, Children, Firefighter!Makoto, Fires, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Night terrors!Haruka, Nightmares, Past Relationship(s), Porn With Plot, Rescue, Smoker!Makoto, Storms, Storms/fear of, Top!Haruka, bottom!Makoto, ending AU, fear of storms, finding each other, single parent!Makoto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:51:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 52,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChinaDoll/pseuds/ChinaDoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><br/>Haruka, living alone say for a cat companion, is still traumatized from a past he can barely remember; something is missing. Moving forward, he does his best to keep himself from thinking about it; about the storm that seems to never end in his mind.<br/>Makoto woke up in the hospital, feeling lost and alone; no memories of how or why. Being strong for those around him, Makoto builds his life back up. Desperately attempting to brave the darkness, that only taps though his mind like rain. For the one and only thing he has left; is his loving family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Restless

**Author's Note:**

> _I get frightened in all this darkness._  
>  **I get nightmares, I hate to sleep alone.** __  
>  _I need some company, a guardian angel._  
>  To keep me warm, when the cold winds blow.  
> ~Eddie Money

**H** _aruka wakes_ up with a start, sitting up straight in his bed and panting slightly as he glances around the room with anxious deep blue eyes; trying to regain a grip on reality even as the remainder of his dream rolls through his mind like smoke over water.  
All that he could remember, flitting to the front of his mind as fast as a bird in flight. The thoughts curled, losing substance with each passing moment.  
After taking a few moments to steady his breathing, he finally relaxed himself enough to look over at the clock. His alarm isn't suppose to go off for another three hours, based on the glaring red digits...  
_Odd._  
He decides, pushing the blanket away from his chest and slipping his legs out of the tangled mess, he dangles them over the edge of his bed and takes another look around.  
_I haven't had a nightmare, like that in awhile._  
Though, nightmares are a normal occurrence for him. Over the years, Haruka has found tricks to sooth himself.  
He hasn't needed sleeping pills, for many years now. Eighteen, was how old he was, when they where finely prescribed. By the age of nineteen, Haruka was literally tired of them.  
Haruka still has nightmares though, something he never intends to divulge. Not to anyone, least of all his ex-doctors.  
He takes another look around, His apartment is chilly – It's always been that way – it holds him to a lonesome feeling that he's never cared for.  
The room felt too big for him, the bed too large when he tends to keep to one side of it... Even the hallowed out shelves at the head of the mattress only held necessities; his alarm clock, cell phone, and one family photo.  
The rest were as empty as the rest of his living space. Perhaps he never did properly settle. Well, it's only been six years.  
_“Meow.”_  
The sudden trill made him jump off the bed, startled for a moment before shaking his head. A corner on his mouth lifted, as he saw his cat gazing up at him with big honey eyes that reflected in the dim light of the open curtains, to make them seem far brighter.  
Chika, a small ball of white fur patched in orange and black, purred loudly in the otherwise quiet room. She trotted over with tail held high and wrapped back and forth around the rough fabric covering Haruka's legs. Bending down he lifted her up around the shoulders, earning a indignant squawk before bringing her in close, and the deep persistent purring resonating from her little body made him feel better. She always did know when he began to over-think.  
Knowing he wouldn't be getting anymore sleep any time soon, with Chika still cuddled against his chest he crossed over his cold bedroom floor and pushed past the bathroom door.  
First thing, he set down the calico in her sink, where she 'murred' thankfully and set to start washing her already silky-soft fur.  
He didn't turn a light on, it was light enough to see despite the dusky hue on all surfaces, but maybe that was a bad idea; After moving towards the tub and turning the tap to run warm water, his thoughts where yet again free to drift to darker places again, namely about his dream... Whether he wanted them to or not. But he aloud himself to recall what had been so disturbing about about it; he couldn't exactly describe it as a nightmare.  
_I'm not sure- it shouldn't have scared me so much..._ Haruka was so lost in thought, before he knew it the bath was was nearly flooded over. Releasing a deep sigh, he pulled back up to his full height and began stripping off his sleepwear, consisting only of a light blue sweater and gray sweats. After being properly naked, he slid into the warm water, not caring as excess spilled over the sides at his added weight. Chika was now curled up contentedly in the sink, and he drifted somewhat while watching the rise and fall of her belly.  
Haruka's only known that lonely feeling once before. Just after his grandmother died, he had a strange dream then too.  
He didn't like the feeling, always tried his best to push it away despite it's best efforts to consume him. Suddenly Rin's voice breached his mind, brusque as usual _“You can't just push feelings away. It'll make things worse for everyone. Take it from someone with experience on the matter.”_

 _What am I suppose to do then?_ Haruka wondered with a slight roll of his eyes. _Maybe starting from the source?_ It had gone unnoticed to himself until bringing Chika into his life, but others had commented on the predicament of his apparent unhappiness long before. Moving to the city hadn't been a big deal for him. His parents visited even less now that he lived closer, and that didn't bother him as much as it probably should.  
Rin had moved here a little before him, so it's not like he didn't have any friends to keep him company. They had even been roommates for short while Haruka started sorting out his new life. He eventually found the restaurant looking to hire and managed an apartment nearby, to this day it was his humble abode. And Rin had taken in his boyfriend since then, he often visited them; they where already starting to talk about marriage and children, though he supposed it's really been a long while now that they've been together.  
_I wonder what that would be like._ Haruka mused. He rarely ever let himself think about children, despite his supposed responsibility to someday wed a woman and produce a family, as he is an only child. _His parents wanted grandchildren?_ Wouldn't they ignore them as much as they had himself, leaving him all alone... _Alone._ Something about that never seemed to ring right. 

_I don't remember always being alone...?_ Every so often something will remind him of... something. On stormy nights, this shiver will travel down his spine and it's not related to his adversary with thunder; It's strange, like he's been caught in the bright headlights of a truck, life or death knowledge guarded by a hill until it's too late.  
_Kids... two of them...soft smile...green glinting like gemstones..._ The memories are always fragmented, to the point he doesn't deign them to be real anymore. But the odd feeling attached to them never shakes, he can't seem to push that away as easily as his loneliness. And no amount of soul searching would ease him in describing it. 

Chika can feel his change in mood of course, and turns to him. He translates her low meow to something like, _“The waters getting cold, you should get out and put yourself to some use. Like feeding me, preferably.”_  
“...Fine.” he says, willing his limbs to move. Chika simply purred loudly.  
Haruka couldn't really complain, she took care of his usual problem of being late for work; he could spend hours just becoming a prune in the water. 

 

 **P** ulling himself out of the tub, Haruka dried himself with a fluffy blue towel from the hook on the door. Rubbing it though his hair and crossing to the closet.  
Finding an out fit was rather easy, picking out a pair of tan dress pants and a t-shirt; his chefs coat and hat where left at the restaurant.  
Haruka brushed cat hair off his work pants as he stood in front of the mirror, picking up his backpack which was propped up at the foot of the reflective glass.  
He slowly followed after Chika, who had jumped down from the sink and bounded down the hall towards the kitchen.  
Flopping his backpack down on the dinning room table, before joining his hungry cat in the kitchen. Haruka's apartment, is very spacious.  
He often wonders why he lives alone in such a big house, there's a living room right next to the dinning room, which was set up with a couch and two armchairs.  
The dining table has five chair around it, and Haruka has never even had five friends over at one time. The kitchen is decent in size, though not two big as most of the space being taken up by the living and dinning rooms. Then his large bedroom, with walk-in closet and bathroom. Also, one guest bedroom that no one has ever used, in his six years of living here.  
Haruka sighed, leaning down to the bottom cupboard to scoop out some cat food, by Chika's empty bowl, he filled the ceramic with a clatter.  
Packing the scoop back in the bag, he closed it up once more. Standing tall again, Haruka watches his cat eating, hands on his hips. Then taking a deep breath and looking around, he begins preparation of his lunch.  
The pan on the stove starts to sizzle as he watches it carefully, filling the room with the smell of frying fish.  
Letting the stove do its job, Haruka turned to the sink and filled his water bottle, closing it securely and setting in on the counter to grab later.  
Turning off the heat for the fish, Haruka moves to the slow cooker and starts dishing out rice.  
Then packing everything up, he heads back towards the dinning room to stash his lunch in his backpack.  
Chika was already there, having finished her breakfast, she lay sprawled on the table by his backpack, a deep purr rumbling though her slight body.  
“Don't give me that, you know I have to go to work.” Haruka told her. Chika would often curl up on top of his bag before he had to leave, making it twinge at his heart to have to move her.  
_She's too smart for her own good._  
Grabbing his packed bag, Haruka slings a strap over one shoulder, reaching out his other hand to pet gently at Chika's head.  
“Be good while I'm gone.” He tells her.  
The purring cat doesn't move as he crosses the room to the door, pulling it open and then closing it be hind him.  
Putting a hand in his pants pocket to fish out his key, once he did he turned and lock the door. Stuffing the key away again, Haruka took the stairs, walking slowly, he had time even though he also had four flights of stairs to walk down.  
“Morning Nanase-san.” the lady on the second floor greeted him.  
“Good morning, Suzuki-san.”  
She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and asked, “I was wondering if you could watch Mai next week for me?”  
“Fine.” Haruka stated, Mai being his neighbor's aging orange tabby cat. Suzuki-san often visited family, once every month, so Haruka had already pet sat Mai a few times.  
Chika and him got along rather well, so it worked out for everybody. “Thanks. You're a dear.”  
Haruka pulled on his backpack properly, “Chika likes when he visits.” he told her.  
Suzuki-san smiled gently, “Well, I don't mean to keep you, have a nice day at work.”  
“Thanks.” he replied, turning away from her with a polite wave, heading for the last flight of stairs.  
Then crossing the simple entry way, it had mail boxes on one wall, a table with flowers on it.  
Pushing though the glass doors and into the morning sun. Haruka had to blink a few times to adjust to the bright lighting.  
Haruka headed right, following his normal path to work. He passed other buildings, houses mostly, one other apartment complex, passed that he got towards more of a shopping area.  
A few firefighters where washing a shiny truck in the nice weather, one of them waved to him, joined by others he only knew by sight. Haruka waved back, the man was his bosses husband; Haruka was often greeted by him; though he didn't know much about him, they where fleeting acquaintances.  
About three buildings down from the fire house, was the restaurant he works at, as the head chef.  
Work was busy as usual, the fast pace and shouting calls had become apart of life. The heat in the kitchen was stifling, With stoves and ovens on, the hustle and bustle of workers moving back and forth.  
"Haru?" his boss asked, tapping up to him in slight heels a few menus clutched to her chest. "Are you feeling well?"  
She added to her question, as she stepped closer to him.  
"Fine." Haruka said, siring today's soup special on the stove, clam chowder, which needed to be ready in time for the lunch time rush.  
"You don't look it." she said stubbornly, setting the menus down on a pile, where one of the waiters snapped them up and went out onto the main floor to greet the party of people that had just walked in.  
"Tell me." she continued, "you look like you didn't get any sleep."  
"Haru!" another waiter exclaimed, "I need three pancake meals, and some scrambled eggs." He clipped the note up where the chef could get at it.  
"Kenta," Haruka turned to one of his co-workers, "start the eggs."  
She nodded the affirmative, moving to do just that in the already warm kitchen and the day had barely started.  
Haruka glanced around at his staff, knowing they could handle things while he talked with their boss.  
The waiters danced in and out of everything, taking finished orders out to the customers. While the staff shouted back and forth to each other, as they worked to prepare each dish to the letter.  
"I don't know, what to tell you," Haruka said, turning back to her, "...that you haven't already heard over and over, you're gonna get tired of me."  
"Haru," she whispered, "I've known you a long time, I haven't gotten tired of you yet, so I doubt I ever will, but if you need time off, you have to tell me."  
"I'm fine." Haruka says again, this time with a little more conviction, "but I promise, if it gets any worse, I'll take time off."  
"Thank you." she smiles, a little sadly, "I let you get back to it."


	2. Shelter

**M** _akoto blinked awake_ , startled, sitting up in the big bed, he used to share with someone, who was no longer there to keep him warm.   
Sighing he glanced across the room at his dresser, where the top was completely filled with picture frames, mostly of his family. Makoto ran left hand over his face, he could feel the wedding band there, or maybe it was just because he knew it was there, the mettle warm from his own heat.   
Dropping his hand back in his lap, he noticed the slight tap of rain on the window, just a little morning drizzle streaking in trails down the window pane.  
Makoto is a little more alert now, but his heart still feels fluttery in his chest, like he had a bad dream and was suddenly scared from it.  
He couldn't remember a dream though, just the fear behind it, which still resided in his being, even with the calm gray morning.   
Makoto knew though, that if he was up, it wouldn't be long before his son sneak into the room for snuggles. He knew it was early, to be awake at all, the small boy only had a half day at school, while Makoto would work the afternoon shift.  
So they had the morning to themselves, in which Makoto had been planning on finishing some laundry and other household tasks.   
Makoto suddenly felt the need to check on his son, stumbling from the blankets and hitting the carpet a little roughly, he made his way across the room, passed the many pictures of his siblings, parents and own little family.   
Ducking his head into the hall separating the two rooms, he limped a little and poked though the other door, eyes desperately seeking a peacefully sleeping child.  
"Dad..." was muttered as the small face looked down at him from the top bunk, "what time is it?"   
"Not really, time to be up," Makoto said, feeling a little relief cloak over the fear he had woken up with, "You can get up though, if you want to...Etsuko."   
Etsuko nodded, pushing back the blankets and holding his small arms out for his father.   
Makoto stepped forward and helped him down, arms wrapping tightly around him and breathing in deeply as his son clung back.   
"...Dad?" Etsuko asked, without pulling away, "...did you have a bad dream?"   
"...I'm not sure," Makoto admitted, "I guess I must have, but I can't remember it."  
"Emi says, thoses can be the most scary," Etsuko whispers, snuggling closer into Makoto's neck. "...I guess the unknown is like that."   
"You're right," Makoto sighed, "both of my boys, are very smart and wise."   
"Grandpa said the same thing," Etsuko chuckled, "told me we get it from both sides."  
"...you really missed your brother," Makoto starts, "don't you?"  
"Yeah..." Etsuko's nod is slight, in the crook of Makoto's neck, "but he'll be home soon, I know he's having lot's of fun with Granny and Pa."  
Makoto rocks a little, something he caught onto when his boys where much younger and fussy, but it stuck around and neither of them complain. Makoto supposes he should feel lucky, that they even let him pick them up anymore, even if they are getting to big to do so.  
Both of his boys, will be turning seven, in less then a week, October twelfth. Makoto wonders where the time went, knowing that also means, it's been seven years since his wife passed, leaving him to raise two growing boys all by himself. 

Snapping away from these thoughts, Makoto knows he couldn't cry anymore, all the tears had long dried up, and as he walked out of the bedroom, still carrying Etsuko down the hallway and towards the stairs, the rain had stopped too.  
"Are you hungry?" Makoto asked, as he tread carefully down the last few steps.   
"Yeah!" Etsuko nodded, "can I help you make something?"  
"Sure," Makoto chuckled, "I can always use a little helper."   
Etsuko seemed a lot happier, now that he could also feel Makoto's change in mood, maybe hopping that his father wasn't scared anymore, that he had done something to help by talking to him.  
Makoto knew, his son would never know how much he had helped, just being able to hold him and know he's safe had been enough to calm the sudden fear. He wasn't sure what had brought on such a panic, Makoto set his son on his own feet when they entered the kitchen. Etsuko already asking what his father wanted for breakfast.   
"How about, pancakes?" Makoto suggested.  
Etsuko seemed to really like this idea, though mentioned they would have to make it up to his brother when he got home, because pancakes where Emi's favorite.   
Makoto nodded agreement, "Of coarse, we'll make it up to him."   
Etsuko's smile, could brighten anyone's day, he saw much of his wife in them. Most of the ladies from his sons school, said his boys look so much like him, Makoto tries to see it, but only their eye color seems to be his really.   
Their hair is on the darker side of brown, because their mothers hair was black, they seem to hold themselves like she used to, very confident, but polite and kind.   
Makoto let Estuko mix the batter for their pancakes, giving his head a little shake, it had been so long, that he could think of these things, without breaking down, even with all the years between, a sliver of his heart ached, maybe that would never go away.   
Makoto fiddled with his wedding ring, a resent habit he found himself doing, he hadn't taken it off in years, his wife was the last person to put it back on him before she died.   
Makoto worried about the sentiment sometimes, he wondered if he should just let go, take the ring off and put it away, every single woman at the school knew he was a widower, some had even made advances. He knew that he should move on, that Kotone wouldn't want him to be alone forever.   
Makoto had almost taken the ring off a few times now, he had been on dates with several people over the years, men and woman alike and something always didn't set right.  
They last fella he had taken out, decide that with his three kids and Makoto's two, it was just to much to handle without moving from the city, which he couldn't do because of his job with the law.   
Makoto, honestly, feels like he's given up finding anybody.   
"Hey, dad." Etsuko says, "...I think the batter is done."  
"..oh sorry, sweet heart," Makoto tells him, "you're right, here you want to set the table for me?"  
Etsuko nodded, taking the plates his father hands down to him, walking them carefully to the table.   
Getting the pancakes going, Makoto glances at his son, now putting out forks and then tilting his head before running to the refrigerator, grabbing the milk and maple syrup.   
Makoto places a few pancakes on another plate, taking down glaces to hand to his son, bringing the plate with him to the table. Etsuko slipped into his chair as he placed his breakfast down in front of him, two pancakes moved to his plate.  
Makoto made a few more for himself, before turning off the burner and sitting down next to Etsuko.  
"...Etsuko?" Makoto asked after a moment, he had been thinking about this all the while making them food.  
"Yeah, dad?" Etsuko asks, stopping in cutting a piece of pancake.   
"...you remember the guy I brought over a few times, awhile back?" Makoto asked, pouring syrup on his own food before looking at his son.  
"Yes...the one with the three kids?" Etsuko nodded, letting his fork rest on his plate so he could look up at his father.  
"That's the one..." Makoto confirms, "well...babies, I just wanted to ask, if you like having someone else around...besides me that is."   
"....well." Etsuko seems deep in thought for a moment, "...I liked that he made you happy, but then he made you very sad and I didn't like that at all."   
"So..." Makoto smiled a little, "...if I found someone, that made me happy and stuck around, doing their best to keep me happy, even when things are sad, you would be fine with that?"   
Etsuko brightens with every word, his head bobbing up and down.   
"...I really would!" Etsuko nodded, looking very serious, "...and I know Emi would too, we don't want you to be sad, or lonely."   
"Oh, honey." Makoto leaned forward, to his sons level, "I could never be lonely, or sad, when I have both my boys, I just wanted to make sure you would be alright, if I deiced to get serious about someone; find one that will stick around for all of us, not just me."   
Etsuko nodded, "Yes, if it'll make you happy, I will be....respectful of your choice."   
"I'm glad." Makoto smiled, returning to his meal, feeling much better then he had all morning.  
"...is..there someone you had in mind?" Etsuko then asked, looking a little hopeful now.  
"...no, not yet," Makoto admits, "but, I'll keep my eyes open from now on."   
Etsuko smiles too, "I know...you'll pick someone wonderful." 

 

Makoto took his son's hand as they walked the two blocks, toward the school, they where stepping though the park, just outside their apartment building.  
"Good morning, Makoto, and Etsuko as well!" their neighbor, Yukio-san greeted them, she was sitting on a bench feeding the birds that pecked the crumbs around her feet.  
"Morning." Makoto nodded.  
Etsuko waved with his other hand, smiling brightly, but trying not to spook the birds.  
"Off to school?" Yukio-san asked, own smile in place as she handed out more crumbs.   
"Yeah!' Etsuko said, "The teacher is letting us read today!"  
"How wonderful!" she exclaims, "I won't keep you then, but make sure to drop by and tell me all about it, maybe when your brother returns home."   
"Sure, Yukio-san." Etsuko nodded, waving good-bye as Makoto and him pass her bench.  
"Thank you, for being kind to her." Makoto praises.  
"I don't mind," Etsuko says, "she doesn't have any grand kids of her own, and she's nice to talk to, plus, she makes wonderful cakes, without even using a recipe."  
"Has she been teaching you how to cook?" Makoto asked, looking down at him as they carefully cross the street and step onto the sidewalk, half way to the school already.  
"Yeah, a little bit." Etsuko says, "I'd like to learn more someday, I think."   
"That's wonderful," Makoto nods, "there are schools for that you know."  
"Really?!" Etsuko asks, stopping for a moment with wide eyes.  
"Yep, big nice schools where you only learn about cooking!" Makoto exclaimed.  
"Woww," Etsuko said, skipping a little as they continued walking, already joining others on their way to school. "I'd love to go to one!"  
"We'll see what we can do," Makoto told him, "if you're really good with home work, which I know you are, maybe you can see about finding a cooking school."  
"I'd really like that!" Etsuko said, as they approached the school gate. Children already saying good bye to their parents and clutching back packs.  
Makoto hands Etsuko his own back pack and crouches down to be more at his sons level.   
"Have a good day, sweetheart." Makoto smiles.  
"Thanks dad," Etsuko rushes forward to hug around his neck, "I love you."  
"I love you too." Makoto breathes out, "you can tell me about the book when you get home, mmm?"  
"Yeah!" Etsuko nods.  
"Good, off you go." Makoto gives him a slight push, more a loving pat.  
Etsuko waves as he runs toward the teacher, whose waiting to send everybody in, she nods kindly at him and Makoto smiles in return, bowing slightly when he gains his full height again. 

 

The sun is warm on his back as Makoto walks towards the bus pick up, his navy blue fire station t-shirt picking up the heat and socking it up. The day is a pleasant October day, with a subtle breeze and the sun poking from the clouds, already drying everything from the drizzle this morning.  
Makoto steps next to the stop sign to wait, letting the sun warm him and smiling to himself, today was going to be good, he could tell.  
Even with the sudden start to the morning, Makoto never let himself stay down for long.   
The bus pulled up on time today, adding to Makoto's resolve, he stepped onto the bus and took his normal seat, three from the front, watching the beautiful day out the window. The ride didn't take more then five minutes, taking him though one of the shopping district and passed the library, where his friend Rei could often be found, when he wasn't at the big research lab, across town.Then there was the high school, and a police station.   
Makoto stepped off the bus, his shoes touching the warm black top of the large fire station lot. Some of his co-workers and his boss where already taking advantage of the warm weather, to wash down one of the big red fire trucks. Makoto shrugged off his bag, setting it down, away from most the damp and joined them, glancing around when his boss yelled a greeting to someone across the street, everyone followed suite, waving at the man, Makoto smiled gently, he had seen the tall, dark haired man many times, on his walk to work.  
Makoto, had found out that he was the chef at the restaurant just a few buildings down, the owner of the place, his bosses wife. He didn't know the mans name though, he only waved with everyone else when he would walk by, the man and his boss exchanging light pleasantries.   
Makoto watched him walking away, he seemed to trudge along, one hand holding the strap on his back pack, the one he always wore. His eyes where tilted down now, watching his feet as he continued to walk.   
He honestly, seemed lost in his own world, and so was Makoto watching the man before one of his co-works sprayed him with the hose.  
"Alright," his boss chuckled, while Makoto shook like a dog, pelting water at everyone. "back to work, have to at least look like we're doing something."  
Makoto nodded, glance at the watch on his wrist, which was thankfully water proof, it was about time for him to clock in, so he grabbed his bag and walked inside the coolness of the fire station.  
He punched in, dropping off his back pack into his locker for later. When a bell started ringing loudly, Makoto looked around taking a moment to realize what was happening and jumping into action, one of the first to reach his fire gear and start rushing into it.  
"First fire in almost a month!" one of his co-workers shouted, as they ran to the fire truck still parked in the large garage. Makoto slipping into the drivers seat and nodding at the man. Starting the engine and waiting for everyone to get on, before his boss signaled the okay, orders already fuzzing though the speaker, giving him directions.  
Makoto took a deep breath in, before easing onto the street, loudly as he make other drivers aware he was rushing to put out a fire, not far behind him was another big red truck.


	3. Rescue

**M** _akoto held_ the hose steady, with three other men behind him, rescue teams already bringing out people. They had gotten there in the nick of time, the room that had caught on fire had been found early, a dish towel to close to the stove, but it still spread two more rooms.  
He watched as people walked out, hacking into sleeves and being rushed to the white truck where they received oxygen. The powerful hose in his hand shook, as he sprayed the licking flames.  
Children where crying somewhere, as the turmoil continued, Makoto felt his ears buzzing as he tried to concentrate. Heart thumping loudly, he kept his eyes on the water, in an attempt to ignore everything else.  
Normally, he was part of the rescue team, Makoto often found it easier to deal with things on the inside, where he could help people.  
"Tachibana-san?" was asked behind him, "Are you okay?"  
"Y-yeah." Makoto nodded, trying to convince himself more then anything.  
"Makoto!" his boss calls, "Trade with someone, I need you in here! This place is getting worse! We still have people in there, on the upper floors!"  
Makoto saw one of his co-workers run up to him, taking hold of the hose. Makoto nodded, slipping away with slight relief that didn't last very long, he set the viser on his helmet down, covering his face as he rushed towards the open door.  
The smoke was sharp in his thought, he could tell now that he was inside that the fire was spreading worse then they first thought.  
The noise in here was worse then outside, but this is what Makoto trained for, he saw works pass by as he trudged up the stairs, trying not to bump into away or slip. He got to a point, where he knew his fellow workers, must not have gotten to. Simply because, he can hear something, other then the loudness around him, something vaguely familiar. He stopped with his foot on the next step, listening.  
Long sleepless nights with the boys, just after bringing them home was brought to mind.  
_A baby!_ Makoto thought, making him move faster then before, their was a bit of slickness to the floor up here, where the water was trying to put out the flame. Makoto desperately wanted to sooth the sound with kind words, but he need to keep hearing it, needed to find where the baby was.  
The first thing he noticed, turning the bend and getting ready to go up another flight of stairs, was a body on the landing.  
Makoto didn't have to look long, before stepping closer he knew he was to late for the lady, her neck was broken from the fall and she looked like she had passed awhile ago.  
"ahhhh..."  
He could still here the baby, but didn't see it, moving around the woman, he started up the last stair case for the top floor, on the landing was the baby, crying loudly but seeming unharmed, safely seated in a car seat.  
Makoto stepped closer, bending down now to sooth the wailing.  
"Hush, it's okay..." Makoto told them, "Hello! Is anyone else up here!"  
Looking up that's when he saw another body, this time a man, halfway out of an open apartment door, his gold wedding band glinting in the light of the fire Makoto could now see, it was already lapping at the dead mans clothes.  
Makoto angled slightly and could see that the man had gotten caught but a weak spot in the flooring, his leg trapped.  
Smoke was already thick, and the parentless child very young. Makoto knew he might be to late already for her underdeveloped lungs, grabbing the car seat by the handle, he carefully made his way down the stairs. He didn't want to meet the same fate as the child's mother, when he was two stair cases clear he went a little faster, watching the floor as he went.  
He grabbed for the talkie strapped to his shoulder pressing the button, hearing static.  
"Tachibana, I have a two month old, heading down flight four,"he said as he counted stair cases, "parents deceased on finding, fire close to tricking down top flight, over." Makoto gasp, keeping to the sides of the stairs, slowing only to check on the sniffling infant.  
"You're the last group then, be careful! Over." he heard his bosses reply, only just as he stepped over rubble on the sixth floor, one more to go. He was meet by two other co-workers lending him a hand at the bottom of the last flight, the babies cry's the only thing he could hear.  
Once out in the open again, Makoto breathed, rushing the car seat to the white truck and pulling off his helmet. He was soaked right though, with sweat, he could feel ash caking along his jaw as he brushed at it.  
"I told you." he whispered to the baby as the paramedics took over, Makoto stayed close as possible, "it's gonna be okay."  
He was handed oxygen and took it thankfully, but didn't move until he heard how the baby was.  
"Tachibana-san," the paramedic looking over the baby, his blue coat had his name on it, 'Nishimura' it said, he was checking her breathing and nodding, "this is one lucky girl."  
"S-she's o-kay?" Makoto asked, his heart still racing.  
"Thanks to you." Nishimura said, smiling, "it's gonna be rough for her now without her parents, but after this, I think she can handle anything."  
She had stopped fussing and seemed more relaxed now, Makoto smiled at her, taking off his gloves he gave her his finger to hold. She took it with a small hand and held on tightly.  
"Do you have kids,Tachibana-san?" Nishimura asked, still smiling.  
"Yeah...twin boys," Makoto told him, glancing at him before looking back at the baby girl, "They'll be turning seven soon."  
Nishimura nodded, "You seemed like you're the fatherly type, if you don't mind me saying."  
"T-thank you." Makoto said, now looking away from the baby to take him in fully, his dark hair and young face, he was a lot younger then him, but that didn't stop him from glancing at his left hand, even if he was fifteen years younger, Makoto wouldn't complain.  
_He's not wearing a ring..._ Makoto noted, looking back up to see the man smiling.  
"I was wondering if you'd ever notice," Nishimura whispered, "I've been checking you out all day..."  
"Have to be careful about that, around here." Makoto muttered, "....how old are you anyway?"  
"26, unmarried, clean, sadly no kids." Nishimura told him. "I wasn't sure, because you're still wearing a ring."  
"My wife died, when my boys where born." Makoto said, shifting slightly and taking his finger back from the baby.  
"...sorry...if you're not ready or something." Nishimura glanced away, looking more then a little disappointed.  
"...no.." Makoto shook his head, "I was talking to my son, about this, during breakfast in fact."  
"Really..." Nishimura said, "then...take my number?"  
"Sure." Makoto dug out his phone from his pocket, watching the young man do the same, his dark hair getting in his eyes a little, Makoto was suddenly reminded of the man, his boss waved to this morning.  
They exchanged numbers, Nishimura smiling all the while. Nodding and looking thrilled by his luck.  
"It was nice meeting you, Tachibana-san." Nishimura said, pocketing his phone and taking hold of the car seat handle. "Ask me out sometime, I won't say no."  
"Nice meeting you as well." Makoto agreed, though his mind was auto playing the man from this morning, how his hair fell in his face and his glum mood walked with him to work, with his tight hold on the strap of his back pack and his elegant gate heavy.  
Makoto blinked, a few times as he waved to Nishimura and walked back to the fire truck, slipping into the drivers seat and looking at the clock. By the time they finished up with the fire and got back to the station, it would be time for his lunch break, which at the moment sounded really nice and relaxing.

" **M** akoto?" someone called.  
His name made him look up, people rarely said his first name at work, he was getting ready to sit down for his lunch break, he had striped down to his t-shirt but was still wearing the baggy pants.  
Ashe still dusted his jaw, but he hadn't felt like taking a shower in the station, he would wait another hour and a half and take one at home before picking up Etsuko.  
Koizumi Saito, his boss, is the one who called his name though, this a little more normal, he and Makoto where the same age, and when they went out as friends or met on the street, they called each other by their first names.  
"Saito?" Makoto questioned, looking up from his lunch box he had yet to open.  
"Can you do me a favore?" Saito asked, smiling slightly.  
"Sure, boss," Makoto nodded, "what can I do?"  
"I need you to take your lunch out of the station today." Saito said, "I just had a phone call from my wife you see."  
Makoto nodded again to show he was listening, but feeling, and hopefully looking perplexed.  
"You know, Nanase-Haruka...the man I waved to this morning." his friend continued.  
"Yeah...I didn't know his name," Makoto whispered, an interest settling next to his curiosity.  
"Well, he takes his lunch about now," Saito said, "normally, my wife leaves him alone, she's known him for a long time you see, but she's done it before and gotten no where....we where wondering if, maybe you would go have lunch with him, just keep him company."  
Makoto knew for himself, that the man in question took his lunch now, he had seen him on the occasions he desperately needed a smoke, and decided to have a walk along the way.  
The back of the restaurant was a perfect spot and he had seen the man there, normally alone but he had once or twice seen him with another man before.  
"A-are...you setting us up?" Makoto asked, "I wouldn't say anything, but we are friends and you know that about me."  
"K-kinda..." Saito says, sheepishly, crossing his arms over his chest as he dose, "just try to befriend him, but honestly, if the two of you hit it off, I think you'd be wonderful as a couple."  
Makoto thought back again, Nanase easily flitting into his mind, just like before, his dark hair, slim form and not for the first time did Makoto think of him as beautiful. The way he had glimpsed smiles, from the young man, when he had been eating with someone else, several months back, how the moment had his whole being light up for the world to see.  
"Y-yes." Makoto stuttered, returning to the room once more, realizing his friend needed a response and not him getting lost in thought. "I will see, if Nanase-san would like company." 

 

***  
pov; Haruka

 **H** aruka breathed in deeply as he escaped for his lunch break. The cooler weather of the alley was a needed relief after he had taken up a sweat in his long sleeved work clothes. Sitting up on the back step, closer to the edge as to leave room for stepping, he allowed himself relax a little.  
Digging into the rucksack he had slumped to the side and taking out the lunch box packed inside, and also a water bottle. The first thing he proceeded to do was take his water bottle, twist open the cap, and lift the bottle above him before dumping it over his head with a pleased sigh. Water dripped from his dark hair, some of it sliding down his neck. 

“Um...” was voiced nervously to his left. 

Haruka blinks and angles his head in the direction of the murmur, his eyes having to adjust from his premature judgment that such a voice belonged to a much younger man; instead, they drifted up at the very tall form of someone at least his own age. He had subtle lines around the edges of his eyes and the corners of his lips suggested dimples that still make him look a bit boyish, but laughter lines where beginning to hush their prominence. 

The man in question had one hand rubbing the back of his neck, rustling the shorter strands of light brown hair there, and he held onto a lunch box carefully with the other. Embarrassed Haruka was able to recognize the emotion on the stranger's face and body language, broad shoulders slouched in uncertainty and eyes shifting anywhere but his own while they still could.

“Hi.” he stated, once their gazes met. Green, Haruka noted briefly. Before returning to his lunch box, the raven haired man muttered something that could have been a greeting. Normally, the back of the restaurant was peaceful, never mind a few strays trying their hand at the garbage further into the alley. It was otherwise well kept for the purpose of their lunch breaks. However, this man didn't appear to be leaving any time soon. Turning back to him Haruka questioned without saying a word, a slight raise to one of his eyebrows. 

“I..just noticed that we both have the same lunch hour...and thought maybe we could eat together...” he was settling into talking, seeming comfortable somehow; in a way Haruka had never witnessed when people tried socializing with him. Unless it was Rin of course, who had grown used to his reserved nature over time and a few too many senseless arguments.  
Haruka couldn't really think of a reason to deny the man, and after all the back was open for company, if ever a friend or family wanted to stop by on anyone's lunch break. Picking up his chop sticks, he doesn't deny the the stranger, it's easier to feign indifference. So the brunette sits across from him, atop the cracked steps of the opposite building. He opened his lunch and smiled brightly, soft at the corners that crinkle. 

Now that he was closer to eye level, Haruka could see him far better; tall was an under statement. Even while sitting upon a lower stair could tell the man would tower over him.  
His green eyes where striking, paired nicely with ruffled brown hair; his face was gentle and kind. He wore the uniform of the local fire station: which isn't far from here at all Haruka recalls.  
A lot of the restaurants customers where often firefighters. Many of the men where very popular with the waitress staff, and since the Head Chef was married to one of them it really wasn't a surprise. 

“So you're a chef? I've had dinner at this restaurant before, the food is really good!” Genuine admiration and praise shown in the man's countenance as eyes shine with curiosity.  
Haruka averted his staring back towards the meal on his lap, nodding ever so slightly while nibbling some of the rice. For the remainder of time he promised himself to ignore this man all together, but the firefighter seemed content to sit in silence. Strange, he's the one who sought me out.  
But Haruka would never complain, he preferred the peace and quiet just as much, if not for the additional noise of chewing that came from his company. But even that faded into the background eventually. Back and forth glances between the two of them however, weren't so forthcoming. And gazes where being held for longer than acceptable from two strangers on their lunch break, but somehow Haruka wasn't put off by it. Especially when it caused the man to grin awkwardly and turn back to his food with a chuckle. 

A sudden beeping sound came from the young mans watch, breaking the two from their reverie  
“Oh, have to go.” he stops the noise and looks up at Haruka, “Lunch hours over. This was nice, see you tomorrow?”  
“I guess.” came out of his mouth, with a slight nod of his head. The tall man waved as he left and Haruka wasn't sure how he was feeling; but he was definitely feeling something. 

_He didn't tell me his name... Haruka was left thinking. ___

 

 **T** he sounds of the empty apartment didn't seem so bad when Haurka finds himself still thinking of the nameless man as he tries falling asleep that night. He and Chika are laying on one side of the full bed, the blankets pulled away from it and wrapped snugly around Haruka legs.  
she laying on his chest and purring contentedly as Haruka absently scratches her behind the ears. Haruka doesn't notice all the cat hair she's shedding onto his navy t-shirt because he's to intent on his own thoughts.  
Normally, his day would drift by without much significantly changing from the route he's settled into. On a good day, he would take a bath in the morning, go to work. Then on the way home he always made sure to drop by the pool. On his days off, he would often go to an art show with a friend or spend the day drifting in the water.  
Now, he found himself looking forward to a new plan, with the nameless man who was brave enough to step forward into his life. Without question, just kindly, nothing more then company wanted.  
Haruka can't help remembering the fleeting smiles he had received. The moment he was reminded, that he'd see the young man again at lunch tomorrow made his heart flutter strangely.  
However as he slipped off to sleep the last thing that drifted though his mind was, _where have I felt this before...?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of these chapters I feel are still a bit rough, please bare with me...and input is always welcome, tell me what you think and I'll see what I have do to make things better.


	4. Release

**M** _akoto's last_ hour at work seemed to rush by him, he joked with his co-workers, finished washing one of the red trucks.  
"How did it go?" Saito asked, as he washed suds off with the hose, they where the last ones outside, the day dwindling down and the night shift workers taking the place of the day time works.  
"....really well." Makoto told him, rather lost in thought and emotion.  
"I know he's quiet," Saito continued, "don't let it get to you, he's really kind heated."  
"I enjoyed the solitude," Makoto admitted, "...I want to see him again."  
"I'm so glad," Saito smiled brightly, "I haven't said anything, but I've worried about you, I might not have known you as long as some Makoto, but you're still my friend and seeing you, still wearing your wedding ring..."  
Makoto smiled, encouraging him to go on.  
"I never met Kotone," Saito says, turning off the hose, meeting Makoto's eyes kindly, "she must have been amazing, it's just the thought of you alone, doesn't set right, it seems like you need to have someone in life."  
"Yeah, I was talking to Etsuko about it this morning," Makoto agreed, "I want to settle down again, find someone who whats all I have to offer....and now, I'm just hopping that Nanase-san, is the person I've been looking for."  
"Give it time," Saito encouraged, "be with him, Nanase-san needs you just as much, possibly more then you need him."  
"Thank you, Saito," Makoto nodded to his friend, and boss, "and if you would, thank Koizumi-san for me, in case I don't see her for awhile."  
"Will do," Saito said, "now, get home, so you're not late picking up that boy of yours."  
"Good-night." Makoto says, waving slightly as he walks back inside to get the things from his locker, before rushing to catch the last bus for the night.  
The ride on the bus gave him time to think a little more, today had started suddenly, the surprises lined right up though out the day.  
He hadn't been this worked in awhile and he knows that if it wasn't for his time spent working out, he would be even worse for wear.  
Makoto hadn't lost someone to a fire in a while, even though he had saved the little girl, he can't help feeling bad about the young couples death. They had tried saving their child, only to die themselves, Makoto wondered how she was doing.  
Then he remembered Nishimura and his phone number, Makoto wasn't sure what to do, it would be rude not to call...or something, but after meeting Haruka, something in his heart was waking up after a long hibernation.  
Not to say, that Makoto hasn't fallen in love with anyone since Kotone's death, every person he's dated over the years, he's had feelings for.  
Just, in all the time, he felt like something was holding him back, mostly his past, not even the loss of his wife.  
Most of his early life was lost, wiped from his mind so cleanly that even trying to think about it brought darkness to his mind, all he could remember was feeling scared, terrified even about something-someone and then waking up to his mothers sleepy, yet relived face.  
He had been sixteen at the time and all anyone would tell him, was he had been in an accident, causing him to have acute amnesia. Makoto hasn't been able to remember much, even now at the age of thirty one, sometimes he has feelings but only foggy, jumbled memories.  
**To:** Nishimura, 5:23 pm  
I was just set up on a blind date...now I feel bad, like I lead you on. But I think it might work with this one...sorry.  
(...Hows the baby?)

 **From:** Nishimura, 5:28 pm  
Oh, that's sweet, most guys wouldn't have said anything, or gone out with me anyway. Honestly, don't worry about it, you can never have to many friends I say.  
(She's been very quiet since getting to the hospital, but physically she's okay, healing anyway, only a few months old and even some of her paper work hasn't been finalized. I hope someone adopts her soon, she's a love....I would myself, if I had the means.)

 **To** Nishimura, 5:30  
I know how you feel. Thanks for letting me know though...keep me in the loop?

Makoto stepped off the bus as he hit send, looking around at the evening walkers, smiling a little as he headed toward the apartment, just though the small sitting park. 

**From** Nishimura, 5:36  
Sure thing! 

***  
**M** akoto's mind shifted once more to his lunch hour, thinking of his company, he was really looking forward to seeing him again tomorrow, even when quiet, it was nice to be with some else while eating, normally he spent the forty five minutes alone.  
_Haruka...._ He thought, as he entered his bedroom, the moments sitting with the other man, though mostly silent, felt amazingly comfortable and right in every way. He hadn't felt like this, in what seemed like ages, the fluttering in his chest reminded him of Kotone and their falling in love while in high school.  
Yet, it was different somehow and familiar at the same time, he knew falling in love wasn't the same every time.  
While eating lunch with Haruka, something had struck him in the face, almost like he had suddenly been run over, his left hand ended up in his pocket. He looked at his wedding ring now.  
He stood in front of his dresser, where all the pictures lined up on top, it was the first time since Kotone had passed, that he really, wished he wasn't wearing it.  
Makoto took a very deep breath, one that seemed to take every emotion he had felt after her death, every tear that stained down his face and clutched at his heart. He let the breath go, released it, into the room they once shared and slowly, with his right hand wiggled the ring, until it no longer bound his finger.  
The mettle was still warm in his hand, he looked at it for a moment, between his thumb and index finger. Then he smiled, that amazed him more then anything, he nodded knowing he had made the right choice, that Kotone would agree with him.  
He opened the top drawer, placing the ring in a box with some of the jewelery he had kept from her things.  
After putting the box back and closing the drawer, he felt a little sadness seep into him, letting it join that part of his heart, that still would always miss her and the pain only lasted a few moments. He smiled lightly again, headed to take a much needed shower. 

**T** he warm water felt amazing running down his skin, washing away the ash and sweat, making him groan deeply. He closed his eyes and drifted in the feeling, every muscle relaxed and he sighed out.  
Blinking open his eyes and taking a moment to wash his hair, he had to pick up Etsuko in half an hour, so he aloud himself a little alone time, not rushing his shower at all.  
Rinsing his hair, he took a few more moments, trying to ignore the waking in the lower part of his body. Not helped by the steam rising though the air and his muggy thoughts drifting, with how comfortable he aloud himself to become. Makoto thought for a moment and decided to indulge a little.  
He breathed out heavily, running his hand down his chest and letting his eyes close again, trying to picture something to lingeringly stroke himself to.  
Makoto desperately wanted to think about Haruka, but he knew it was much to soon, he had only just met him and he would feel to terrible after words. Still his smiles stayed in the back of his mind, his hand cupping around the base and moving just enough for him to gasp.  
Makoto tried instead, thinking back to some porn that had really done it for him back in high school, which probably isn't even online anymore. Two men and a woman, moaning out, while the woman wore a strap on, taking one of the males, who was already taking the man he rode.  
The image was one that reminded in his mind over the years, the three some, double penetration, always seemed to get him hard fast and leave him still shaking after release.  
It just made him hot all over, he had never stopped to question it, even if when he was younger he had been embarrassed by it. Makoto tightened his grip, moving his hand up and inhaling sharply, reminding himself that he was alone and sighing out, leaning back on the side, using the wall to hold himself up right.  
He teased back the fore skin, collecting some of the wetness that hadn't already been washed down the drain. he slicked his hand back over his hard cock.  
"A-ahhh." Makoto breathed, jerking his hand and finding rhythm as he thought of the three, the passion between them, even if fake, making him hotter with every motion of his hand.  
His hips hitched forward into his grasp and he keened, slipping into a whine, he was getting close, he wanted it so badly, it had been so long since the last time he indulged himself. Yet, he held back, easing himself into what felt like, it was going to be and amazing orgasm, just from how it was building up low in his belly, coiling and twisting tightly.  
Makoto held onto the titles with his free hand, dragging his nails over the roughness a little letting his head fall back, when the image suddenly slipped from his mind and he sucked in air sharply, when Haruka appeared on the back of his eyes clearly. His pretty lips parting for him, pink tongue poking out and blue eyes looking up tentatively. Makoto thrust into his hand and came faster then he ever has in his life,  
"H-haruuuuu" Makoto called out, his name falling from his mouth easily, his release hitting the wall before it was washed away. Makoto continued to jerk his hand, milking the orgasm as seed still dribbled over his fingers, Haruka still lingering behind his eyes and stars flashed though his head.  
Makoto breathed in what felt like forever, blinking his eyes open and letting his softening cock free from his strong grip, he used both his hands to lean forward into the wall, letting the warm water pound onto his back.  
His heart beat wildly as the pleasant tremors still twitched over his dappled skin.  
"W-wow..." Makoto muttered, ignoring the guilt in faver of basking in the after affects of his self pleasure. 

 

 **M** akoto managed not to feel bad as he carefully stepped from the shower, turning if off and trying not to stumble. Slowly drying himself off and changing into comfortable clothing, he was able not to think about it much as he ran down the stairs, grabbing his apartment keys and a hoodie off the hook. Mind more on the fact he had to pick up his son from school, then make them both something for dinner, as he stepped out into the cool evening he remembered that he needed to finish the laundry.  
He then thought, he should buy the boys some new clothes soon, as he crossed the park and ran over the cross walk, just in time before the signal changed.  
Makoto knew, if he went shopping, he should visit Kotones father, who owned a book shop in town.  
Etsuko would like to see him, so he would plan it for a day he could take his son with him, Makoto would need the growing boy to try clothes on, because most of his and Emi's clothes, where getting to small.  
Makoto hoped that his parents didn't have to buy him anything while he had been away for the summer, he realizes he should have thought about it before the boy left. He would pay them back if they had, even if they said it was fine. Makoto stepped up to the gate and was greeted by his son, who ran towards him the moment he saw him.  
Makoto smiled, whisking the seven year old up and twirling him around laughing. Etsuko giggled and held on tighter with a high pitched scream.  
"Daaaadddd." he gasp for breath, as Makoto turned to a stop, nuzzling into his sons hair and breathing out.  
"Hey sweeites," Makoto greeted, "how was school?"  
"Fun!" Etsuko exclaimed, small hands gripping the back of his hoodie.  
"You can tell me all about it," Makoto says, "I wanna hear every detail."  
"Sure!" Etsuko said, "can we have soup for dinner?"  
"Soup sounds good," Maktoto agreed, setting his son back down and taking him by the hand.  
They walked back towards the apartment, hands swinging back and forth as the stars began making an appearance.  
"What kind of soup?" Makoto asked, as they turned the corner and headed towards the cross walk.  
"Noddle soup." Etsuko says, looking up at his father as he dose, "I know how to make it!"  
"Do you?" Makoto smiles, "well, you'll have to show me."  
"Okay." Etsuko nods, mirroring his smile. A few birds fly into the next tree as they cross the walk and step into the small park, where they kindly greeted an older man walking his small dog.  
Makoto let Etsuko take the key from him, to unlock their door, as he lagged behind a little, feeling a stiffness from the work out he had today, knowing that the years where getting to him already.  
Etsuko waited for him, holding out the key before stumbling out of his shoes and heading for the kitchen, slipping a little in his socks on the wood floor.  
"Careful!" Makoto called after him, closing the door behind him and making sure to lock it.  
Toeing off his own shoes slowly and stepping after his excited son.  
"I'm okay." Etsuko assured, taking the stool so he could reach the cabinets and take out the broth and noddles he would need, while Makoto smiled and retrieved the pot, setting it up on the stove for him.  
"Can you grab the pepper?, ohhh and garlic," Etsuko asked, "do we have any still on the clove?"  
"Yeah," Makoto nodded, heading for the refrigerator, taking out a few of them from the bottom drawer.  
"Cut them up finely, please." Etsuko told him, he moved to the stove and poured in the chicken broth, setting it aside and opening the noddles.  
Makoto got things ready to start shopping and danced towards the stove and turned the burner on for Etsuko, so that the broth would boil and he could add the noodles.  
"Thank you!" his son said, smiling at him and dumping the noddles into the pot. He then took the pepper shaker and carefully tapped a good amount into the warming pot. Makoto completes his task and brings over the diced garlic, Etsuko takes it adding it in and then reaching to turn down the heat a little as the pot starts to boil. He then takes the top and covers it, smiling up at his father brightly.  
"Thanks, for helping!" Etsuko grips the hem of his hoodie.  
"You're very welcome," Makoto coos, "my boy is so talented, could be a chef one day!"  
"...I think I might want to." Etsuko admits, a bit shyly.  
"I think that's wonderful, babies." Makoto leans down, "if that's your dream, you should chase it, with all of your heart."  
"I will." Etsuko nods.  
"That's my boy," Makoto soothes some of his dark hair from his sons eyes. "I bet dinner will be wonderful."  
"I hope so," Etsuko whispers, eying the pot a bit, letting Makoto's hoodie go, before taking the top off the cooking dinner and reaching for a spoon to stir it.  
Makoto took his full hight again, with a chuckle, he went to the cabinets and pulled out bowls and then shifted to grab spoons, heading over to set the table while his son watched the soup.  
"The book we read today," Etsuko started, "was about a king who fell in love with a commoner."  
Makoto nods, setting the last spoon down and sitting at the table, turned toward his son.  
"Sounds interesting." Makoto said, sitting down and resting his chin on his palm, held up by his elbow on the table.  
"It was sad though," Etsuko said, "for the first part anyway, we didn't get though the whole book in class, but I read ahead."  
He put the top back on and set aside the spoon, turning towards his father and continuing.  
"She finds another man, but he dies after she has his children," Etsuko steps forward and crawls into his chair as well, "the king finds out and asks her to live in the castle and teach his own children, they fall in love and are wed in the end."  
"Wow," Makoto says, "I think I remember reading it, when I went to school."  
"Really?" Etsuko asks.  
"Yeah," Makoto tells him, "was so long ago, it was left in the back of my mind."  
"I like when they have us read," Etsuko says, "reading is fun, even when the teacher asks you to read out loud."  
"I've always enjoyed it as well," Makoto agrees.  
"Dinner should be ready," Etsuko smiled.  
Makoto nodded and stood to bring the pot with a hot pad to the table.  
"Thanks for the meal!" They both say together.

 

 **M** akoto tucks Etsuko into bed that night, smiling fondly at him and kissing his hair.  
"Thank you," Makoto says, "for making dinner, it was really good."  
"You're welcome, daddy." Etsuko whispers, yawning a little, "I like to cook, but mostly, I like helping you, as much as I can."  
"I love you," Makoto whispers back, feeling it settle strongly in his heart, as it often will, "so, very much."  
"I love you too." Etsuko nods, his eyes closing and his breathing becoming shallow.  
Makoto smiles again, petting dark locks gently before quietly leaving the room. Stepping across the hall way and sleepily crawling into his own bed, making sure his alarm is set for tomorrow.  
However, when he settles in the darkness, blanket warming up around him, the days events hit his mind full force, as he hides himself into his pillow.  
Shame seeping into him for a moment, before he recalled Haruka's glumness from the start of the day, then his subtle conversation later. Makoto smiled again, before slipping into sleep, he liked the man to much, to let anything else tarnish it.  
Even if he still felt bad, about masturbating to him, when he basically just meet him, if he kept up his intentions, maybe they would get to know each other, with time.  
Rain beat down on the window, loudly, but it didn't bother him, just lulled him into a deep peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I didn't have internet all day yesterday, so I wasn't even able to get on and see how this story was doing. It did, however, give me a chance to read though a lot of the story and I'm feeling pretty good, about how it's turning out. I still feel like it has plot holes, but hopefully I can fill things in better.  
> I'm not to sure about this chapter, I almost trashed it several times; thinking it was to soon for a masturbation chapter, but I felt Makoto needed some time alone.


	5. Friends

**H** _aurka is_ more aware of the fact that he's sitting alone, He hadn't opened his lunch, yet another unconscious happenstance, he finds himself waiting without meaning to. The young man doesn't take very long and this time just sits in the same place as last time.  
The rain last night had been light enough for him to sleep though, no thunder to send him into a panic, though his slept it had been dreamless and not restful.  
Haruka couldn't complain though, at least he had a little sleep and wasn't a zombie dragging his feet into work and grunting moodily at people until having several cups of coffee.  
He hopped though, that tonight he could get some real sleep, with dreams, but not nightmares. Haruka was brought from his thoughts by a friendly voice, tickling his ear.  
“Oh, were you waiting for me?” the man asks with a kind smile, one that made Haruka feel like he had been thrown into the tide.  
Turning his head to the side, Haruka makes himself busy opening his lunch, without replying. After a moment of silents he looked up at the young man and willed himself to ask.  
“Makoto.” he said without looking away from Haruka's gaze.  
Haruka looked down at his food once more, a half smile gracing his fine face. He didn't think 'Makoto' could see it. The dark-hair man hadn't needed to say anything- the tall man before him had guessed somehow what he wanted to say.  
It made him feel...  
“Haruka.” he said without much emotion on his face; if Rin where there it would have been something plain to him. Haruka wanted Makoto to know his name; his given name- he never introduced himself this way. His name made the young man across from him smile and Haruka added, “Call me Haru.”  
Makoto nodded, “Nice to meet you, Haru.” Hearing his name said by Makoto made his heart flutter once again- _this is familiar..._  
Looking away again Haruka muttered, “Makoto.” in his own way also pleased about the introduction. Makoto chuckled and began picking at his food.  
“How long have you lived around here?” Makoto asked hesitantly.  
“Six years.” Haruka stated.  
Looking up and smiling Makoto exclaimed, “Really! That's about as long as I've been here too.”  
"I moved here for school, then I found the restaurant..." Haruka said, "I've noticed you around, you're with the fire station."  
"Yeah," Makoto nodded, "I've been with the fire station, since I moved here, my father was friends with the old chef, so I had the job right away and never felt like leaving."  
"Finding a job around here can be stressful." Haruka admitted, he had looked for months before the restaurant offer showed up.  
"Yeah," Makoto agreed, "I'm very thankful for it, though it wasn't my first choice."  
"That happens." Haruka nodded, picking at his food, finding himself more interested in the other man.  
Haruka found, he really enjoyed talking with Makoto, in fact he rather liked the sound of his voice while he was eating.  
Makoto seem content to do most of the talking. The conversion had picked on a commonalty, books mostly, life in the city.  
"I love going to the movies," Makoto was saying, "I should take the time to go see something sometime, I read all the time when I'm not working and I miss a lot of wonderful films."  
"I haven't been to a movie in ages either." Haruka whispered, glance down at his empty bento box, closing it up.  
When Makoto also finished his lunch, he began looking in his jacket for something.  
“You don't mind if I smoke, do you?” he asked, as he took out the package along with a lighter from another pocket. Haruka shook his head and watched as Makoto lit the cigarette, he smiled and took a few puffs.  
“The guys still tease me, about this.” he says, indicating with a wave of the cigarette between two fingers, before he put it back between his lips and pulled another drafted.“You'd be surprised how many fire fighters smoke though." letting out a cloudy breath.  
The smell was sharp in Haruka's nose but he didn't say anything, just shrugged his shoulders seemly indifferent.  
“A friend of mine, calls it a nervous habit.” leaning forward to swipe out the cigarette on the stone walk way he added, “He might be right.”  
Haruka noticed that Makoto didn't leave it there, like most of the smoking workers at the restaurant. Makoto placed what was left of the cigarette behind his ear for safe keeping.  
“I'll be back tomorrow.” Makoto says, stopping his watch just as it beeps once. “It's was really nice talking to you, Haru.” he smiles as he lifted up from the ground, waving fleetingly as he leaves.  
Haruka watches him walk away and notices when he glances back, green eyes shining, the smile never seeming to leave his face.  
he stares, until Makoto is around the corner and he can't see him anymore. He remembers to breath again, taking slow breaths though his nose, trying to evaluate his heart and mind, two things working in tandem.  
_Makoto seems like the kind of person to slowly get to know you. So, I can't rush this, even if he hints or his looks linger...he just wants a friend..and that's what I'll be.  
This is only the second time you've meet him, Haruka tells himself, plenty of time to make things more..._

 

 **T** he storm outside rumbled along loudly, drops of rain pounding the large window in his bedroom. Haruka is sitting up in bed holding his knees to his chest as the storm continues, it's times like this that he can't even take a bath to calm himself.  
Chika is doing her best to comfort him by curling close and purring. Every rumble sends shivers down his spine, making his skin cold even though the air around him is humid and beads of sweat rolled down his dappled skin.  
Keeping his breathing steady, he closed his eyes so that the flashes of lightning weren't as sudden and blinding.  
The storm had already lasted longer then Haruka liked, normally he could tune it out; _Why._ He thinks desperately, _I've never feared water, just storms.._  
Haruka can remember a time when he was young watching in amazement out the window when it rained; the patterns that trails made on the pane.  
He recalls, running outside as fast as his small legs could take him and looking up into the sky as the rain drenched him.  
_Dad came running after me and chased me around in the rain; when we came back in sopping and muddy; we both got such a scolding. Later that night Dad had just smiled slyly at me and told me it was alright. Thunder and lightning where there and I wasn't afraid._  
With a deep breath Haruka looks around the relatively dark room. The storm is still loud and Haruka's feeling more then restless.  
A sudden noise startled him but it wasn't the storm; it was his cell phone.  
'Rin' was flashing on the screen brightly. “What?” Haruka said once he picked up the phone.  
_“I didn't mean to make you jump out of your skin!”_  
Haruka could heard the storm on Rins end of the call.  
“Rin.” Haruka stated, his hand griping the blanket under neath him as a particularity loud rumble shook the window.  
_“I was just calling to let you know I'm coming into your apartment;_ excuse the intuition!” The last part could be heard from two voices, one set in his ear the other could be heard from the hall along with the closing of the door.  
“Haruka-senpai! We brought your favorite!”  
Ending the call and dropping his phone where he sat, Haruka crawled off the bed and went into the living room where Rin was shedding his coat and hanging up another along with it. Rin's boyfriend could be heard in the kitchen as he took things out of bags and began preparing food.  
“Neither of us could stand the thought of you sitting all alone while it's storming out.” Rin said, when he noticed Haruka had joined them. “So we decided to bring dinner to your place!”  
Looking off to the side Haruka replied, “I have Chika.”  
Rin tried looking smug; but didn't pull it off very well when he said, “Idiot, you're welcome.”  
“Haruka-senpai, I'm not sure where everything is!” Aiichirou poked his head from the kitchen,“Rin! set the table for me!”  
The redhead went into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Aiichirou from behind. He must have said something to tease his boyfriend, Aiichirou rolled his eyes but was smiling all the same. Rin smiled too, love patting his boyfriend before doing as he was told and setting the table. 

“So, I must admit to another objective to dropping by.” Rin said a little later, the storm had relaxed while they ate. Haruka relaxing along with it, he nodded at his friend to continue.  
“I'm still friends with Akio, as you well know and he mentioned to me that he planned on visiting you.” Rin pushed his plate away and looked up at his friend. They where sitting at the dinning room table, which rested between the kitchen and the living room.  
“He told me that you where having lunch with some hansom fireman and he didn't want to interrupted- not being your boyfriend anymore and all..”  
“That was good of him.” Haruka glanced up from his food, he utters without much emotion on his face.  
Rin however has known him long enough to say, “He thought maybe you had a new boyfriend and I told him that if you did, I would be the first to know about it.”  
Aiichirou smiled at both of them as he began clearing the table and listening silently. Haruka looked down at the table and said, “He isn't my boyfriend.”  
He could feel the redheads gaze on him before hearing,  
“But you're hoping he will be-”  
“Give him a chance Rin-senpai.” Aiichirou scolded. Making Haruka look up at them. The silver haired man was staring at his boyfriend, reproachfully, he received an apologetic look back- which made Aiichirou smile. Haruka thanked him silently but replied to his friend, “I'm not sure how I feel about him yet.”  
Rin nodded, “Well, you'll have time to find out. I figure you're having lunch with him again?”  
Haruka's eyes watched as Aiichirou took the last plate, with a call to Rin to give him a hand. Haruka noticed the love shining in his friends eyes, Rin didn't need him to reply, it was written on him plainly. He stood to help his boyfriend without complaint.  
Haruka reflects that it's taken Rin years to read his thoughts, so far no one has done better. 

_At least no one, that easily comes to mind._


	6. Message

**M** akoto doesn't hear his alarm go off the next morning, lucky, Etsuko notices the change.  
Jumping on top of his father with more force then necessary.  
"Oooff" Makoto gasps, blinking rapidly.  
"I made breakfast," Etsuko exclaimed, "you looked like you needed to sleep in."  
"Thank you," Makoto yawned, rubbing his hand over his face, "sorry babies, I didn't think I was that tired."  
"You work yourself to hard." Etsuko reasoned, "it's alright to take a breather, every now and then."  
"Okay," Makoto smiled, "I'll do my best."  
Etsuko nodded, grinning brightly.  
"What did you make?" Makoto then asked.  
"You have to see." Etsuko said, taking his hand and pulling a little.

 

Haruka; pov  
**S** itting on the back step as he always dose for lunch, however, now that Makoto joins him he finds it even more relaxing after being stuck in the kitchen. People rarely bother them in the back, even the other smokers seem to rotate on a opposing schedule.  
Even though they've only done this three times now, it felt like they had been doing it longer. Haruka found himself remembering things about Makoto that most of the time would slip from his mind-  
_Something girls would break-up with me for..._  
Makoto was looking at him, Haruka could feel it as he unpacked his lunch. Haruka can tell that Makoto wants to talk about something, so he looks up and is instantly met by green eyes.  
“The storm last night was frighting.” Makoto commented.  
Haruka was a bit shocked, _He's talking about the weather..cute.._  
When the thought ran though his brain, he decided it sound like something Nagisa would say. _Nagisa, an old school friend of mine...and Rin's as well, I haven't talked to him of late because he had recently acquired a boyfriend...all my friends are gay..._  
Haruka settled for nodding, when his brain caught up, a mouth full of food giving him the excuse. Once he swallowed he answered, “Yes. I had friends over for dinner though.” _At present I don't feel he needs to know about my storm terrors._ Haruka thought.  
“It was a long night,” Makoto smiled, he wipes at the back of his neck with a cloth,“Really hot now though.”  
Makoto says as he sets things down and opens his lunch, adding as an after thought, “Makes me want to go swimming.”  
Haruka glances at the man,  
“You swim.” he says it more as a demand then a question. Looking up from his box lunch Makoto gives him a smile that makes Haurka's heart flutter in his chest.  
“Yes.” he replies gently. “I was on the swim team back home too.”  
Haruka glanced away from green eyes to compose himself once more.  
“So was I- Rin made me join.” Haruka thought about it and added, “After awhile though- I enjoyed swimming with him.”  
Now that Makoto had him talking he asked, “Are you still friends with him?”  
Haruka nodded, “Rin and his boyfriend, they are trying to adopt now.”  
Tilting his head a little he added, “They're are the friends I had over for dinner.”  
“That's wonderful! How about you- I don't even know if you're married.” Makoto said, lifting some rice to his lips.  
“I'm not. Although I'll admit children have been on my mind.” Haruka stated and his voice drifted back to silents.  
“I loved taking care of my siblings when I was younger.” Makoto said, seemingly indifferent to Haruka slipping out of the conversation. Because of this Haruka was able to learn a lot about Makoto's family and swimming. _Makoto's smile is even brighter when talking about those things..._

 

 **T** _hat smile continues to be infectious._ Haruka thinks as he's cooking dinner for a night alone. Other then his cat companion anyway, who is currently siting on the table. Chika is waiting for her milk, rather patiently with her eyes closed as she purrs reassuringly.  
Haruka looks at her and wonders what he ever did without her, setting a bowl down for her with the white liquid.  
Petting her head gently, she purrs and allows the contact as she laps lingeringly at the milk. Haruka smiles turning back to his own cooking.  
His mind continues to think about Makoto, realizing that he had learned quite a bit about the stranger 'Makoto' had been a few days ago.  
He had lived in a small town, before moving here. Makoto has two siblings a boy and a girl. His family in general seemed very nice, which explained Makoto.  
_Other then that, he hadn't been feeling forth coming about personal stuff. Like weather he's married or not..guess he doesn't know me well enough yet. Makoto asked me if I was married though..._  
Sitting down at the table with a plate of food, across from him Chika had finished her milk and was now cleaning her whiskers. Haruka watched her for a bit, as she ran her tongue over a paw and then up her face and over her ear.  
Haruka contented himself with his own company. Haruka never really thought about family that much, every time he tried fragments of memories that didn't make sense would appear-He did his best to tune things like that out. Once though, he had been bold enough to ask his parents about it, both of their faces went blank and they had glanced at each other.  
To this day they haven't said anything about the matter.  
_Somethings missing..._ Haruka thought. He can remember feeling this way for well on ten years, like the memories hold something more- as if he's left part of himself floating somewhere.  
_Ridiculous..._ he scolded himself, he felt like talking to someone- but who.. _Grandma would know what to say..she always did._  
With a deep sigh he pushed his meal away and laid his head on his arms.  
_Beeeep_  
Haruka didn't bother looking up, he had only sort of heard the phone ring- he didn't have any intention of answering it- that would involve moving.  
_“Haurka-kun, we're leaving town and we'd like you to be hospitable to your cousin, who will be living at our apartment for awhile- take her shopping or something! I'm not going to beat around the bush Haruka-kun, you're getting up in age and already have a stable job, which we are proud of. However- we are getting to an age as well and all our friends are grand parents already- what ever it takes get it done!”_  
There was a fuzz and then it was his father speaking.  
_“Hey son- I hope you're doing alright, we'll be gone for three weeks in Maine- Your cousin- Aoi will only be staying for a couple weeks, her mother wants her more cultured while on the look out for a husband. I'll text you when we get there, make sure you reply so I know you're well. I'm really sorry but your mother has been nagging me- show your cousin a good time. Love you.”_  
Haruka raises his head to look at Chika- she looks back after swiping a paw over her face; whiskers twitching she meows as if she's saying- “He tries.”  
“I guess.” Haruka says and moves from the table, picking Chika up and taking her with him to bed. Forgoing food, he's not sure how many nights it's been now, but he knows he's lost weight recently. “Can't count you as a wife can I? We might have to talk about adopting, just to keep her quiet.” he says as they crawl into bed.  
It isn't that Haruka never dates, he's been with plenty of girls- _They either couldn't handle my 'silent type' or something would just feel off for both of us._  
Haruka had recently tried dating a man, he always knew he was bi; however only after going to a gay club with Rin had he met his first boyfriend; Akio.  
The schedules of a Chef and a doctor just don't mix Haruka didn't mind the solitude to much; _however- not having my man to cuddle with when he's on the night shift is a bit much after a long day of cooking.._  
-Mom of course doesn't know about me dating men..she'd probably faint- I think dad knows, although it's never been said out loud; I haven't had a boyfriend long enough for them to find out..  
Sighing Haruka snuggles closer to Chika, her purr resonates. _My day off is after tomorrow- I suppose I can take Aoi shopping._  
The thought has Makoto's face drifting into his mind.


	7. Someone

Makoto dried Etsuko's hair with the blow dryer, they stood in the bathroom facing the mirror, as Makoto runs his fingers though his sons soft, dark hair.  
Turning off the nosie, Makoto tests his own hair with his hand, deeming it dry enough, they where dressed for bed and Makoto looked at his growing baby gently.  
"I wanted to tell you," Makoto started, "I might have met someone..."  
"Really!?" Etsuko had been brushing his bangs from his eyes, when he looked around at his father excitedly.   
"Yeah," Makoto nodded, smiling a little at the boys enthusiasm. "I was waiting to tell you, I've been eating lunch with him, for three days now, his name is Nanase Haruka and..."  
Etsuko nods his head, waiting for him to continue.  
"I really like him- he isn't married, but has been thinking about kids recently." Makoto thinks about his time with the dark haired man, "I haven't told him about you boys yet, but I feel like once we get that far, he'll love you."  
"I'm so glad." Etsukuo says, smiling brightly himself, "I could tell though, just by the way you act."  
"...I guess there's no hiding it..." Makoto muttered, though couldn't stop smiling.   
"You don't have to," Etsukou assured, "be as happy and thrilled, nervous and excited as you want. I can't wait to meet him!"   
"We'll see what happens," Makoto says, turning a little worried, "I'm not sure if he is interested, from the way he talks and looks at me, I really think he is....I hope he is."  
"...Dad, if he doesn't like you, then he's raving mad." Etsuko states, walking to the door way and waiting for his father to follow before switching out the light.   
"I'm glad you think so," Makoto chuckles, walking with him down the hall way towards his sons bedroom.  
"Honestly, I know sevral moms and dads who would date you in a heart beat," Etsuko says, waving a hand as if it's nothing and starting up the later to his bed.  
"Oh?" Makoto askes, "how do you know."  
"Adults love to talk in front of you," Etsuko tells him, crawling under the covers, "thinking you don't have a clue what they are saying."   
Makoto shakes his head, "I've said it before, my boys are so smart."   
"To smart sometimes." Etsuko agrees, "but you can't keep blaming it on mom, half of it is from you."   
"Yeah..." Makoto mutters, "...sometimes I find it difficult, to see myself in you boys."  
"We're more like you, then anyone," Etsuko tells him, hugging the blanket to his chest then turning his head toward his father, "everyone I know, says so."  
Makoto smiles, kissing his sons forehead, soothing back his hair.  
"Time for bed, sweetheart." Makoto tells him, gently, "soon we'll get your brother back."   
"mmm." Etsuko mumbles, "I do miss him..."  
"Me too." Makoto agrees. "good night, babies."   
"Night...daddy." Etsuko yawns, nodding a little.

Makoto falls into bed, lucky tired enough to sleep, he felt so excited though about seeing Haruka again tomorrow, he had been worried he would toss and turn all night.  
But he blinked awake to morning light, only a little before his alarm went off. Etsuko hearing the beeping noise and stumbling, sleep still crusting his eyes as he crawls onto the big bed and settles next to his father.  
Makoto pulls him closer sighing out, "Good morning, sweetheart."  
"I'm still really sleepy." Etsuko nods, nuzzling into the cuddle time.  
"Yeah, I know the feeling." Makoto agreed, sighing, "...I'm looking forward to seeing Nanase-san."  
Etsuko shifted in his hold, peering up at him and pulling back to smile.  
"I love seeing you so happy," Etsuko whispers, "I have a good feeling about this time."  
Makoto smiles as well, looking down at his sons bright green eyes, that so match his own. Things did seem to be settling into place, Makoto was a little nervous though, he knew he was gonna have to ask Haruka out sometime soon, he wasn't going to let this get away.  
"I think you'll get to meet him sometime." Makoto tells him, "I think I'll ask him over, as a friend."   
"Maybe I can help with dinner!" Etsuko exclaimed.  
"Nanase-san might want to help too," Makoto chuckles, "he's a chef."  
"Really!?" Etsuko asked.  
"Yep," Makoto nodded, "he works at Koizumi-san's restaurant."   
"Cool!" Etsuko sat up, much more awake. "I'd love to meet Nanase-san!"   
"I'm sure, he'll like you." Maktoto laughs, his sons excitement dulling the knots in his stomach. _I hope he will..._  
"Better get the day going," Makoto says, "You have everything packed for school?"   
"Almost!" Etsuko nods, slipping from the bed with a light thud.   
Makoto follows after him, much slower, heading towards the stairs and running a hand over his face, stifling a yawn.   
Taking the stairs one at a time, thinking about what to start for breakfast, though it wasn't the meal he was looking forward to.   
He wanted to think about, the best way to ask his new friend out, it had been a long time and he wasn't the one who took the lead.   
Etsuko ran down the stairs carrying his back pack, already dressed for school. He crawled into his chair at the table, Makoto dished out some rice from the slow cooker and set it down in front of him.   
"Thanks!" he said, digging into the rice with glee.  
"I'm not the only one, happy today." Makoto mentioned, smiling and taking his own bowl of rice to the table.  
"...June-kun, confessed to me yesterday," Etsuko admits, looking down, "I promised him, that at lunch I would read to him."   
"...really." Makoto whispered, shocked, "...arn't you a little young to have a boyfriend?"   
"Yeah," Etsuko nodded, "we promised to be friends for now, wait until we're older to be more."  
"That's a good idea." Makoto agrees, "you should invite him over sometime."  
"I will." Etsuko nods, "he'll like it here, I know."  
Makoto smiles, watching his son eat quietly.

 

Makoto stares at the clock, he been helping his boss with paper work all day and it's only five more mins until his lunch break, the day seems to have dragged on for longer then normal, only because he was aware of the time and feeling nervous and impatient.   
He desperately wanted a cigarette, but he never smokes even around the apartment, the park has no smoking signs, so it's just another thing that has to wait until his lunch break.  
"Go ahead, Makoto." Satio pulls him out of his thoughts, "you've done enough for now, go see Nanase-san, I know you've been waiting to all morning."  
"Thanks, Satio!" Makoto manages not to run to his locker for his things, but once he steps out into the after noon sun, he can't help running across the street and three shops down, only slowing when he turns to see the ally.   
Taking deep breaths, Makoto pulls out a cigarette before meeting with Haruka, blowing out smoke with a releaved sigh and letting his heart beat settle back to normal, but nothing seemed to help the butterflies flying around in his belly.  
Makoto knows that he had a few minutes, before Haruka would even show up, but he glanced around the comer, much like he had a few months ago and had seen the young man with someone else.  
To his surprise, Haruka was already sitting on the back step, looking down at his un-opened lunch, Makoto watched him, slowly finishing his cigarette, before dumping it into the cigerest bin next to him.  
Taking one more deep breath, Makoto entered the ally.  
"Good morning, Haru." he greeted, taking his normal space in front of the other man, several feet separating them. "You must have gotten here early today."  
"A little..." Haruka admired, "not very busy today."  
"Sorry to hear." Makoto said, opening his lunch and trying not to fidget on the bricks beneath him.  
"It'll pick up." Haruka assured, smiling a little as he also opened his lunch.   
"Nice thing about being a fireman," Makoto chuckles, "a slow day, is a good day."   
Haruka laughs, looking up at him even as he dose, the action has Makoto staring, watching how his face crinkles around his mouth and his blue eyes are like a wave of emotion, always flowing.  
Makoto bites his lip, feeling his heart beating at his chest, reaching out for the man before him.  
The moment is gone faster then Makoto would have liked, Haruka's laughter drifting away into slight tremors of his small body.  
"I've never thought of it that way." Haruka admitted, the corners of his lips twitching. "do you have fires, often around here?"  
Makoto shook his head, slowly etching some of his food, "Luckily no, but there was one just recently, the day we met in fact."  
Haruka nodded, returning to his food quietly as always, though Makoto could still feel his mirth radiating off of him, the idea of a slow day being a good sign seemed to brighten his mood a little, know seeing it in a different light.


	8. It's a date

**H** _aruka_ looked up at his companion. Makoto was silently smoking across from him, the orange tip glowing every time he would pull a draft. After a moment green eyes met his, Haruka held his gaze for a moment before glancing away like he always dose.  
“Are you sure it doesn't bother you?” Makoto asked worriedly. Haruka nods his head slowly, he isn't bothered at all.  
Akio used to smoke, only after making love, Haruka still has the ash tray on the head bored shelve where his ex had left it. Haruka barely notices the Cigarette, other then the fact that it's something Makoto dose.  
Haruka attempts to pull his thoughts from his new friend, placing them more in the now, where Makoto is nibbling at his chapped lips.  
“Can't smoke at home anymore.” Makoto says as he rubs the cigarette on the stone path, like he always doses and puts the rest behind his ear. “I've been trying to cut back because of it.”  
“I don't mind.” Haruka states, returning to what was left of his meal.  
Makoto sighs and it has Haruka looking up at him.  
“I wanted to let you know, I probably won't be here for lunch tomorrow.” Makoto says.  
“My day off.” Haruka utters.  
Makoto brings one leg to his chest as he says, “Really? That worked out well.” he smiled and then asked. “Are you taking out your girlfriend or boyfriend?” he's looking rather embarrassed, as if he's not sure he should be asking. Yet, really wanting to know at the sametime. The question drifts into his mind.  
“No.” Haruka states.  
“Oh..” Makoto muttered.  
“I'm not dating anyone. My parents, want me to take my cousin shopping.” Haruka says to him.  
“Yeah? well I need to go shopping too. That's why I can't be here tomorrow.” Makoto rubs at the back of his neck again, though Haruka catches his smile.  
Makoto turns to him and Haruka is graced it, full force from the other man.  
“Maybe we'll bump into each other.” Makoto suggests, shyly.  
“We could meet some where.” Haruka says, without looking away.  
“I'd like that.” Makoto nodded, his hand slipping away from his neck, the honestly of it shining from him, “Oh- I'll have my son with me- I think you'll like him.”  
“Son..” Haruka manages to gape. _He has a son..._  
“ _Oh Yeah!_ I haven't told you that yet..” Makoto is looking rather sheepish as he adds. “Actually, I have twins...”  
_Two sons..._ Haruka looks down at his food. _He has twin siblings so it shouldn't be to much of a surprise._  
“I'll only meet one of them?” Haruka asks, already settling with the information, thinking of Makoto with children is easy, he can remember a few months back when the fire station raised money for the orphanage, it was one of the memories he could recall off Makoto before they had really met.  
He had helped the kids out, making sure everyone was accounted for and helping them cross the street, taking them to the restaurant, where Koizumi-san had promissed they where welcome for lunch.  
Haruka had peeked him from the Kition window, his waitresses and some of his waiters gushing about how wonderful he was. Haruka could see him laughing and leting one of the small girls sit in his lap, while he colored on a place mat with her.  
“Yeah, you'll get to meet Etsuko, he's the younger of the two.” Makoto confirms,  
packing up his lunch box he adds, “Emi is staying with my parents for the summer, last summer it was Etsuko.”  
Haruka glances down at Makoto's left hand, _I thought so..Makoto isn't wearing a wedding ring. That doesn't mean anything though..._  
“They're good boys, don't squabble even close to what my siblings do.” Makoto's eyes where shining brightly, as they always would when he talked about family. He looked up catching his friends eyes, Haruka smiled gently in return, unable to help himself, seeing Makoto's silent plea for approval.  
“Let's meet somewhere.” Haruka said, right when Makoto's watch started beeping. Makoto blinked a few times before he stopped the noise, looking back at Haruka with shock and happniess.  
“There's a little clothing shop in town, right across from the book shop...I can't remember what it's called..." Makoto seemed flustered. "but the book shop is called Tamaki's”  
“I know the place.” Haruka agreed.  
Makoto nodded and stood turning to leave, he takes a few steps before glancing behind, “It's a date.”  
When Makoto was gone, Haruka decides,  
_He can't be doing that thoughtlessly...he must, really be interested in me..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are so short....I really wish I could add more to them, but for now I thought I'd surprise every with a bulk update...


	9. Best Friend

**T** _he next_ day, Haruka took the bus to his parents apartment, it was closer to the shopping district. Knocking on the door that he rarely ever saw, Haruka waited.  
“You have a key, you know.” could be herd from the other side.  
“They didn't give me one, don't like me just walking in.” Haruka replied to it, soberly.  
Aoi opened the door, “I hate to tell you this Haru, but your mother is a grade A Bitch.”  
“You are not the first to tell me.” Haruka stated.  
“Sadly I won't be the last.” Aoi said, then held out her arms. “I missed you, dear cousin!”  
Haruka welcomed her into a hug, he had been friends with Aoi for well on nine years. Both of their parents had been bugging them, for years to get married already.  
_Although if I did marry anyone- it be Aoi- she's my best friend. I think we'd make a good life together._  
Slipping away, only enough to look at him she asked,  
“Did you sleep at all?” they walked slowly into the apartment together, the door clicking closed behind them. Aoi waiting silently and patiently for him to respond.  
“Last night, I actually did.” Haruka sighed.  
“But you haven't been?” she asked.  
Nodding Haruka said, “I've been having really odd nightmares..”  
“You work yourself to hard.” Aoi says and takes him by the hand, leading him into the apartment. “Everyone has nightmares- it's stress.”  
Haruka didn't say anything, just looked around the room blankly.  
“I'm almost ready- do you have a shopping plan?” Aoi asked as she grabbed her purse.  
“I promised we would meet some friends along the way- I hope you don't mind.” Haruka replied.  
“No, that's fine.” Aoi said, then added, “I'd ask if you where setting me up but, I know you better then that.”  
Haruka looked to the side towards the door, his face might have tinted a bit. He could feel Aoi's eyes on him.  
“Oh-” she chimed, “He's for you isn't he?”  
Haruka sighed again, knowing that his cousin was smiling big and bright.  
_Like she always dose when she's teased something out of me._  
“Oh! I can't wait to meet him then.” Aoi said and crossed over to him to link their arms together. 

**H** aruka walked with Aoi on his arm, they window shopped a bit before Aoi found the book shop called Tamaki's, they went inside knowing, time could be spared.  
Inside the shelves where packed to breaking point with new and used books, in long rows and from ceiling to floor. Haruka browsed idly, only reading some of the titles.  
He knew that Aoi would take a while, so he didn't rush at all. A small boy passed him, then not much longer he passed again.  
It was at the third time that Haruka took notice, only because a small hand tugged on his jacket. Haruka looked down and was met with striking green eyes, he was taken aback for a moment.  
The sight of him had waves crashing though his mind and he jumped when in another isle someone dropped a book. _That sounded like thunder._  
Haruka tried not to panic, but it was like his childhood was trying to break though the wall that had been there for years.  
“Um.” the small boy said, his other hand was on the back of his neck. It was enough to bring Haruka back, returning to the over stuffed and dimly lit book shop.  
“Yes?” Haruka asked him.  
“I can't reach a book- and daddy's busy talking to grandpa.” The boy replied quietly, shuffling his feet.  
Haruka wasn't sure why the young boy had chosen him and not Aoi who was not that far away.  
“Okay, where is this book?” he leaned down a little so the boy didn't have to tilt his head up so much. The boys smile was as bright, as his fathers, for there was no doubt in his mind that this was Etsuko.  
He pulled on Haruka's sleeve and said,  
“This way!” the small boy exclaimed. Haruka followed him down another isle, the young boy pointed up to a rather high shelf.  
Haruka pulled it out by the spine and brought it down to the boys level.  
“This one?” he asked. It had pictures of aquatic life on it. The boy nodded with a bright smile as he accepted the book,  
“Thank you!” the boy said, swaying and clutching the book tightly, like Haruka had brought x-mas early.  
Haruka crouched down so he was more at the boys level and asked, “You like water animals?”  
Etsuko's eyes got very big and he nodded, “Yes! I love everything about water! I'm going to be on the swim teem just like dad was.”  
“Your dad seems really cool.” Haruka said, already knowing that Makoto was a gift to the world and it seemed he had passed much of that down to the kind young boy before him now.  
“He is!” Etsuko said his face brightening, just like his fathers would when talking about family.  
“Hasn't he told you not to talk to strangers, Etsuko?” Haruka asks seriously.  
“Yeah..but you didn't seem to bad and I'm not very good at talking to girls.” he fussed with the corners of his book, not looking Haruka in the eyes.  
“Wait, how do you know my name..?” his small face snapped up, eyes wide and shocked, maybe a little nervous.  
"I'm Nanase-Haruka." he managed a smile, “As it happens, I know your father- you look a lot like him.”  
“Granny says that too!”Etsuko smiled, looking very pleased, "So, you are Nanase-san."  
"Yes," Haruka says, nodding and then asking, “So, what's this about not talking to girls well?”  
“Well..” the boy is looking sheepish, “Granny's really the only one I talk to, the girls at school are scary, and often mean, to me and June-kun.”  
"I see, whos June-kun?" Haruka questioned.  
"...um." Etsuko glanced away shyly, "my best friend...boyfriend...someday, I hope anyway, he confessed to me."  
"I wish, I could have had a best friend like that," Haruka nodded, "though, Makoto is a wonderful friend now."  
"...Nanase-san..." Etsuko turns to him again, "do you like my father?"  
"Yes." Haruka assures, "very much so, are you okay with that?"  
"Yeah..." Etsuko nods, "he's been happy, ever since he met you."  
Haruka smiled, he had never thought he would have children, he wanted to but never thought he's find someone to have them with, now watching Etsuko, he feel even more afetion for his knew friend.  
Etsuko returend the smile, gently and kindly. Pulling Haruka back to the book shop and noticing Aoi.  
“You see that girl over there.” Aoi had just wandered into the same isle as them, she was looking very closely at the titles of each book.  
Etsuko turned around, looking behind himself, then back to Haruka he said, “She asked me if I needed help- she's nice but way to pretty to talk too...” he shuffled his feet again.  
“That's Aoi, she's my cousin. She works with children, she works for an adoption agency.” Haruka told him.  
Etsuko looked down at his book and Haruka added, “I can go with you, if you'd like to meet her.”  
Looking rather nervous Etsuko nodded once. Haruka couldn't help smiling at the boy, it twitched at his lips briefly.  
Standing at full hight Haruka held out his hand, Etsuko however held out his arms. This sparked something in his memory. He lifted the boy into his arms and rested him on one hip, Estuko still held onto his book tightly. Haruka walked over to Aoi, with the small boy securely in his arms.  
“There you are.” Aoi said, turning to him,“I wondered where to had gotten to.” then she smiled and added for Etsuko, “I see you found your book.”  
The small boy nodded, still sitting nicely in Haruka's arms. Holding onto the book, clutching it to Haruka's chest. Aoi looked at the book and then asked, “So, do you have a favorite water animal?”  
“I love seahorses!” Etsuko exclaim brightly.  
“They're very pretty, are they not?” she continued to smile, then looked at Haruka.  
“Aoi this is Etsuko, my friends son.” Haruka said, “Etsuko, this is my cousin Aoi.”  
“It's very nice to meet you.” They both said to each other.  
“Etsuko!? Are you bothering customers?” Makoto called, before appearing around a bookcase.  
“Makoto.” Haruka says, their eyes meeting at once. His friends face tints pink.  
“Oh! This is a surprise!” he says.  
“Isn't it? We where planning on meeting you across the street, but I couldn't pass up stopping here really quick.” Aoi is smiling, between the two of them.  
“I'm sure my father-in-law would be pleased to hear it.” Makoto's smiled brightly.  
“Oh? You're related to the owner then?” Aoi asked, noticing that Haruka's gaze was distracted with Etsuko. Makoto had been watching the two of them, he was pulled away by her question.  
“um.. yes! I really don't stop by as often as I should, it's really nice having him so close by though, I do try to make the effort...” Makoto rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “Today though, I really need to do some shopping, my boys are just growing so fast.”  
Aoi nodded,“I know how that goes, I've been working with kids for ten years now.”  
Makoto smiled, his hand naturally slipping away, “I'm Makoto by the way..”  
“Nice to meet you Makoto, I'm Aoi, relation of Haruka.” she returned a smile, his making it difficult to resist, the tall man had one of those smiles that lit up the room.  
Haruka pulled Etsuko up a little, settling him back in place on his hip. Etsuko allowed the adjustment, looking at his books cover quietly. When the conversation dwindled he peered up, seeing his father,  
“Daddy!” Etsuko said excitedly, held out his book, Makoto stepped a little closer.  
“This is the one you want?” he asked his son.  
Nodding 'yes' Etsuko gripped at Haruka's jacket tightly, making it plain he didn't intend to be put down just yet. 

**T** he bell on the shop door jingled as they left, Makoto held it open for everyone, Haruka still carrying Etsuko on his hip. They rushed across the street, stopping in front of the clothing shop.  
“You don't have to carry him- I know he gets heavy.” Makoto told him, gently.  
“It's okay, I don't mind.” Haruka said, as he met his friends kind green eyes.  
Makoto returned his gaze longer then really necessary, then he held the door open once again, his eyes following Haruka as he walked passed him. Aoi smiled, at Makoto as she stepped close behind her cousin, once inside the store, she made sure to walked ahead of them so that the two men could fall into step next to each other.  
Haruka noticed, silently thanking her and smiled down at Etsuko. The small boy was looking around from his abnormally tall seat, taking in the cloths and other shoppers from the safety of Haruka's arms. Makoto was idly browsing though t-shirts, Haruka followed him without question, just keeping a tight hold on the boy, who after awhile contently rested his head down on his shoulder.  
Makoto picked out two of each shirt, draping them over his arm and glancing around. Haruka could tell he was trying to think of all the things his sons where in need of.  
Not that far away Aoi was also going though things, she pulled out a blue t-shirt and Haruka saw her smile.  
“You'll never guess what I found.” she told Haruka.  
“What?” Haruka asked.  
She turned the shirt over so they could see the design printed on the front. Stamped not quite center is a abstract seahorse in white.  
Haruka walked closer to it so the young boy could see it better.  
“It's really pretty!” reaching out a hand to trace the design with his finger. Makoto slipped next to them, nodding approval at the shirt Aoi had found.  
“Yeah, that's defiantly Etsuko.” he smiled, glancing at his son fondly.  
“Alright, what size is he?” she asked.  
“I'm not sure, their sizes change so often.” Makoto said, rubbing the back of his neck.  
Nodding Aoi said, “It's okay.”  
She glanced at the young boy in Haruka's arms. Putting back the one she had pulled, running her finger tips over the hangers, she went smaller, “I think this one is right!”she announced.  
Haruka set Etsuko down, “It's alright.” he assured the small boy. Etsuko nodded, skipping over to her, she turned him around and lined the shirt up with his back.  
“Okay.” she said, draping the shirt over her arm and asking, “What else do you need Etsuko?”  
They watched as Aoi held her hand out for him, Etsuko shyly took it, then pointed at some colorful tops not far away. She nodded and let him lead the way.  
“He's a sweet boy.” Haruka stated, once the other two of their party slipped way into the many clothing options. He glanced at his companion, trying to let emotion reach his friend.  
“They both are, I'm very proud of them.” Makoto said, his eyes shone. Makoto could express feelings very well, one look and Haruka could tell. The pure love resting on his face couldn't be missed, Haruka held his breath momentarily, he knew the love was for his children, but Haruka couldn't help blissfully falling for Makoto's expression.  
They held each others gaze, Makoto took a step closer, not much considering the close quarters between clothing racks, “Haruka...”  
“Haru!” Etsuko came running up to them, Haruka looked around at the calling of his name, sadly breaking the moment with Makoto. Glancing at the young boy, Etsuko grabbed Haruka's hand and pulled gently. Haruka took the hint, allowing himself to be pulled way into the store. Makoto following slower behind them.  
They managed to find many things for both boys.  
_Children are expansive,_ Haruka could tell, Makoto had put a lot of saving into this shopping trip. Haruka offered to buy them lunch later. Makoto looked up from sorting the large pile of cloths on the check out counter.  
“Oh..that's very kind of you..but you don't have to..” Makoto said, looking a little surprised at the kind offer.  
“I don't mind.” he told him, turning to re-join the other two, who where still browsing. He didn't want to give him another chance to refuse.  
“Haruka!” Aoi called, they had wondered into the womans area. “Look at this dress.”  
She held up a floaty white dress, that faded to blue, bunching up nicely on the bottom. Aoi placed it up to herself, then said, “It would look better on you Haru.”  
“It be nice on you.” Haruka said, he felt Etsuko take his hand and squeeze.  
Aoi shook her head, “No, why don't you try it on.”  
“For you.” Haruka said, letting go of the small boys hand he asked him, “Want to hold my jacket?”  
Etsuko nodded, Haruka shed it and handed it down to the boy, then pulled his t-shirt over his head, also handing it to Etsuko.  
Haruka took the dress from Aoi and slipped it over his head. Haruka let it fall over his chest and passed his hips to rest just above his knees, If he untied the bunches it would most likely pass his knees. It looked like a shirt with his jeans underneath it.  
“I knew it would look good on you!” Aoi said and Etsuko was nodding. Makoto was watching from not to far away, waiting for the cashier to ring up all the clothes.  
Haruka glanced at him, wondering what he was thinking then went back to listening to the other two.  
“I think it needs something.” Haruka said, then pointed at a rack next to Aoi. She nodded and handed it to him.  
Haruka pulled the jean jacket over his shoulders and left it open. “Oh, that is nice together!”  
“It's very pretty!” Etsuko added.  
“Koizumi-san, is planning on putting on a cross dressing party.” Haruka said.  
“Well, now you have something to wear!” Aoi exclaimed brightly, “Hold on, I'll go pick out some leggings for you.”  
Haruka nodded and changed back into his t-shirt and jacket. Aoi returned brandishing the leggings, a victorious look on her face.  
“Last pair in your size!” she exclaimed.  
They met Makoto at the register, Etsuko taking Haruka's hand once more.  
“Etsuko, are you getting hungry?” Makoto asked once the lady handed them all their purchases.  
The young boy nodded, pulling on Haruka's hand, “Eat with us?”  
Haruka glanced down at him and then up at Makoto, “I guess.” he says.  
“Sure we can! We where suppose to meet anyway- what would you like to eat Etsuko?” Aoi leaned down to ask the small boy at his level.  
“Curry!” Etsuko exclaimed brightly.  
Aoi smiled at him and nodded, “I know the very place."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the grammar is all messed up, my sibling is slowly helping me go though it. I'm sorry in advance.


	10. What about you?

**A** _oi lead_ the way along the sidewalk, gripping all the shopping bags in one hand. Etsuko was between Haruka and Makoto holding both of their hands and smiling.  
They swung their hands playfully, making Etsuko giggle.  
"I like this." Etsuko says, smiling up at his father and then Haruka, "I can't wait for Emi to met you, Haru."  
"I'm sure, I'll like him as well." Haruka agrees, already knowing after today, that he would fall in love with any child of Makoto's.  
He looked up at the other man, smiling gently, feeling his heart beat quickening.  
Makoto returned the smile, tilting his head adorably, and making Haruka chuckle.  
He turned his head back to the side walk, feeling very happy. Etsuko clutched his hand a little tighter.  
Aoi waved and pointed indicating she found the shop she was looking for, it was a small restaurant with cute sayings added to the menu specials.  
A sign as they walked in said, 'Please have a seat!' in pink dry erase and after it was a kitty face.  
The little place was set up with round tables and only a few people took up space, atmosphere was comfortable  
“I visit Haruka, as often as I can.” Aoi said, sitting down at an empty table. “So, I know where a lot of things are in this city.”  
Haruka pulled out a chair for Etsuko and watched him, slip up into it before sitting down next to him.  
He pushed a place mat towards the small boy, also handing him a box of six color crayons. Scooting a little closer so they could share.  
Aoi keeping conversation as they waited for a waitress to offer them drinks.  
“By the way, Haru, you must take me clubbing while I'm in town.” Aoi said, a smile painting her face. Her arms across her chest as she leaned forward on the table, resting on her forearms.  
“I guess, what kind of club?” Haruka asked without looking up, he and Etsuko continued to use the crayons on the back of one of the place settings.  
“Um, know any gay clubs that are good?” Aoi asked, while a waitress noticed them and signaled for a moment. She nodded her thanks before turning back to her cousin. Makoto was slowly reading something on his own place mat.  
“Yes.” Haruka stated, still not looking up. “Rin took me to one, it's where I met Akio.”  
“As long as you're okay with that..” she said, Haruka could feel her eyes on him.  
Haruka shrugged, “Doesn't matter.”  
Aoi leaned towards Makoto and whispered, even though Haruka could still hear her, “His ex-boyfriend.”  
Makoto glanced up from the table, a half smile twitching the corner of his mouth, which Haruka fleetingly saw. Makoto seemed to be wondering if it was even his place to know.  
“What about you?” Aoi asked Makoto, her tone suggesting curiosity.  
Makoto's eyes watched Haruka and his son draw, then the older man looked at her, his hand went to the back of his neck, “Um...I was married to the twins mother. She passed away the day they where born.”  
Aoi sat up straighter, her eyes shining an apology,  
“Oh..so you're a single parent..I'm sorry.”  
Makoto smiled, shaking his head gently, “It was a long time ago. I'm sure that my wife would be proud of her children, I can only hope that I've raised them to her wishes.”  
“I work with children, who don't have any parents, I can tell you right now, you're doing wonders keeping them out of the system.” Aoi assured him kindly. Makoto was spared being embarrassed, as a cute girl in uniform tapped up to them.  
Taking their drink orders. Once she left them again Aoi lead the conversation down a different path, “So Etsuko, how old are you?”  
Etsuko glanced up and replied enthusiastically, “Six!! I'll be turning Seven, on the 12th.”  
Aoi smiled and then asked, “Are you making friends at school?”  
The young boy thought for a moment, “Yeah, but it's kinda lonely without Emi, once school started again, it was the same when I was living with Granny and Grandpa for the summer and went to school there for the time.”  
“I see. Will he be coming home soon?” Aoi asked.  
Etsuko nodded, “Four more days! We're gonna take the train and pick him up at the station!”  
“That sound like it'll be lot's of fun!” Aoi said brightly, "he'll be back in time for you birthdays."  
"Dads taking us to the aquarium!" Etsuko nodded excitedly, "you should go to!"  
Etsuko turns back to Haruka, smiling brightly.  
"You'll have to ask your father." Haruka says, smiling in return, glancing at the other man across from them.  
“They're really close, even at school, they keep together.” Makoto he was telling Aoi, a full smile gracing his face.  
"Dad!" Etsuko almost stands on his chair, with much enthusiasm, "can Haruka join us on the 12th?"  
"..well," Makoto says, surprised, "if he would like to go, that's fine."  
Etsuko smiled, hiding it as he went back to his drawing, which Haruka was still intent on. Though, Haruka found it difficult to considerate, now that he was going to the aquarium and Makoto was going to be there.  
Aoi chatted idly for a while, talking to Makoto about books mostly, just passing the time companionably. Haruka grew tired and looked up, eyes drifting to Makoto's.  
The other man took notice immediately, his green eyes seemed to see right though him. Haruka had decide, he like that feeling, he liked when Makoto saw him. Haruka didn't perceive the waitresses return, to lost in thought and Makoto's gentle gaze. He almost knock his chair over from surprise as she asked, “Can I take your order?” 

 

 **H** aruka held onto a sleepy Etsuko, he was naturally swaying slightly back and forth as the young boy clutched his jacket.  
He felt a little sleepy himself, feeling contentment wash over him, drifting gently.  
They where conversing in the park not far from Makoto's apartment, Aoi and Makoto where talking about her work with children, helping them find homes.  
“I'm helping Rin and Aii find a little boy, they are hoping for a girl too.” She told him, brushing back some of her dark hair.  
“Really?” Makoto whispered, “How is it going?”  
“I'm sure we'll find the right match, they are determined.” Aoi said, with a smile.  
“Must be wonderful, working with kids I mean.” Makoto said.  
“Is it something you wanted to do?” Aoi asked.  
Makoto glanced at his son in Haruka's arms, “Yes. Before I got married I planned on opening a day care, it was going to be in a small town.”  
Looking back at Aoi he finished, “When my wife got an an ofter in the city, we moved- then she got pregnant and things just kept me from doing it.”  
Aoi nodded.  
Makoto smiled,“I've been a little disappointed about it, however being a fireman works well and I can still spend time with my sons. They are what keeps me going.”  
“Children are wonderful that way” Aoi said, then adjusting her purse she said, “Well, I'm going to head back to the apartment. See you Haruka, I'll stop by the restaurant sometime.”  
Haruka didn't say anything, he kept swaying.  
Aoi waved, “It was nice meeting you Makoto, say bye to Etsuko for me.”  
“Nice meeting you too.” Makoto nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the chapter I really feel I could make longer at some point...


	11. Will I ever see you again?

**O** _nce she_ was gone Makoto smiled at him, “Today was fun, thanks for meeting with us.”  
Haruka smiled with one corner of his mouth, holding on to Etsuko like a life line, his heart beating rapidly.  
Makoto picked up the three bags that where his, off the park bench where Aoi had left them.  
Haruka watches him silently, content cuddling the sleeping boy in his arms.  
The tall man glances at him, he cleared his throat and turns away,  
“Would you...maybe like to have tea with me..seeing as Etsuko is asleep..don't really want to wake him..you don't have to-”  
“Makoto.” Haruka said, quietly. The man looked up sheepishly, when he heard his name, having his attention Haruka finished, “Yes.”  
Makoto's smile was priceless, it always made Haruka feel weightless. The tall man took a hold of the last bag on the bench, leading the way slowly. They crossed the park, passing the neat trees getting ready for October, their leaves changing color. Etsuko breathed easy, not even shifting in his sleep as Haruka slowly followed after his friend. 

**M** akoto took a key from his pocket, the three of them had to walk up a few flights of stairs. Haruka going slowly so as not to wake the sleeping Etsuko, they walked quietly, without meaningless conversation.  
Going down an open hall way and at the end, Makoto stopped at the last door taking the key he had palmed and pushed it into the lock.  
Makoto pushed open the door and moved for him to go first, “His room is upstairs, on the right.” Haruka nodded, pretending not to notice the tingle as he brushed past the taller man.  
Ascending the stairs, Haruka manages to find the young boys room. Inside, is nicely colored and shared by the twin boys, a single bunk bed it in one corner.  
When Haruka approaches with Etsuko still sleeping in his arms, it was obvious which bed was his. However, he lays the young boy on the bottom bunk over the covers.  
Once he had the boy settled he moved away, rolling his shoulder back. Then he reached into the top bunk and took the seahorse plush, it was very realistic and brownish orange in color.  
Haruka set the plush next the the dreaming Etsuko, then turning he pulled a crocheted blanket from the arm chair in the room, where it looked like Makoto read them stories.  
Moving back to Etsuko, he gently placed the blanket over him. Haruka smiled to himself and brushed back some of the boys hair away from his eyes, then slowly trying his best not to wake him, Haruka removed his shoes. Taking them with his fingers he made sure that the young boys feet where covered, then turned to leave.  
“Haru..?” a small voice asked sleepily.  
“Mmm?” Haruka tilted his head, towards Etsuko, standing in the door way.  
“Will I see you again?” Etsuko asked, trying to keep his eyes open.  
_The same color as Makoto's..._ Haruka thought, his heart fluttering as Makoto's face drifted in his mind, strikingly clear.  
“Likely.” He assured the boy, attempting to breath properly.  
Etsuko smiled and then closed his eyes once more.  
On the way back in the hall, he noticed Makoto's bedroom door open. He bit his bottom lip, knowing he shouldn't snoop, but the room called to him, so he wandered in. The bed was large and in the center of the room.  
It was made, however a pile of laundry was on top of the spread. It looked like Makoto was in the middle of sorting and folding.  
Haruka could hear Makoto in the kitchen down stairs. The kettle starting to whistle, the clinking of tea cups.  
Clutching Etsuko's shoes, Haruka turned to leave before the tall man came looking for him. That's when he saw the dresser, it had a range of pictures on it. Haruka moved closer and noticed he recognized some of them, it was rather easy to guess the others though.  
One depicted Makoto with his boys, there was also one of his twin siblings.  
Haruka doesn't question the twins, they look very similar to Makoto himself, with green eyes, though slightly darker hair. Haruka feels like he's seen them before, but not sure where he might have.  
Over the years, Haruka has seen an over abundance of twins with green eyes, in his dreams and foggy memories.  
He pushes these lingering ghosts away, by returning to the other pictures on the dresser. One hand still holding onto the boys shoes, Haruka reached out his right hand and pulled out one picture hiding behind the others, he finds it curious; _why leave have it here at all, if you can't see it..._  
Seeing the face before him answers his question, even without meeting her, he knew this was Etsuko's mother. He looked a lot like her, with darker hair then his father.  
The lady in the picture was standing on the beach, wind blowing her gray dress to the side, along with her long black hair.  
Her eyes were a crystal blue, they sparkled like water did in light.  
She seems care free and it was very obvious that whomever had taken the picture, she loved dearly.  
_Makoto..._ Haruka thought, he could feel his heart beating faster, gazing at the young woman.  
_She was far to young to die..._ looking at it better he noticed, that she was holding her belly, gently. It was hard to tell, she was only just starting to show.  
_She's pregnant in this picture._ Haruka was going to set the photo back, where he found it, then he changed his mind and placed it more to the side, making it viewable with the others.  
Haruka's heart was still beating heavily, _I'm not jealous...I like the fact he keeps her picture..it shows he cared about her. I wonder if he just recently stopped wearing his wedding band..._

**G** oing down the stairs quietly, Haruka places Etsuko's shoes by the entrance and then slipped out of his own. Following the noises from the kitchen, Makoto had his broad back to him when he entered the room.  
Haruka smiled slightly and seated himself on one of the stools at the counter, looking around Haruka concluded that the apartment was really nice. It wasn't flashy like his parents, something more in between like his own home was. _Not fancy, comfortable and spacious._  
“It was Kotone's choice, when we first looked around, she thought it was perfect for raising kids...even though it's the city.” Makoto said, apparently noticing Haruka looking around.  
“Kotone...” Haruka stated, looking at him gently. He didn't have to ask, but he wanted Makoto to clarify, to have a name for her face.  
“Yes. Kotone was my wife of seven years.” Makoto said, rather shyly.  
Haruka thought of the photo and smiled, _her name suits her....wait.._  
“You must have married, very young.” Haruka commented.  
Talking over the passed few days, Haruka already knew they where both thirty one years old. Makoto rubbed at the back of his neck and with his other hand placed a cup of tea in front of his guest.  
Haruka glanced at it when Makoto replied, “Yeah, she was eighteen and I was seventeen, I was twenty four, when the boys where born."  
He took a hold of his own tea and continued. Haruka's eyes settling on his. He stood across from Haruka, his stance leaning forward.  
“We got married, planning to settle down in town after school, but when that came around years later, Kotone got the job offer in the city.  
It was really worth it, she had worked really hard on her Manga. So we moved, that's when she found out she was pregnant.” Makoto looking down into the brown liquid of his cup, swirling it around absentmindedly as he continued.  
“She died, giving birth to the twins. She was only twenty five years old.”  
Haruka's hand twitched and moved a little closer, he was about to pull it back when Makoto held out his hand for him to take. Haruka slid his right hand into Makoto's left, the taller mans tea sitting on the counter forgotten by his left hand.  
His hand was warm and Haruka squeezed gently, not having words of condolence just wanting to be there for him.  
Makoto's eyes watched their joined hands, he could see the lighter skin where his wedding ring used to rest, Haruka ran his thumb over it soothingly.  
“I feel like, I've known you for ages.” Makoto told him, his eyes low as he kept them on their joined hands. Not daring to look up, but adding pressure with his fingers gently.  
Haruka wanted to see his face, to dive back into Makoto's wonderful, loving and kind expression.  
“So do I..” Haruka told him, his voice shaking slightly, his own heartbeat seemed overly loud. His words, had the desired affect, Makoto's head tilted up.  
Haruka found his gaze, meeting green and causing a shiver to run though his body.  
Nodding Haruka assured him gently, suddenly afraid that if he was to loud, this dream might fade like the others.  
_Not this time...Don't wake up..._  
“Haruka...” Makoto said it lowly, just like he had before his son had dragged Haruka away while in the clothing shop. This time, the meaning seemed to be shining though everything else, the admiration and love reaching out to Haruka tentatively.  
Makoto also seemed to think, that anything more said might shatter something; as though words where tangled and he didn't want to disturb the mood with stumbling sounds.  
Haruka had to blink, but he didn't want to look away. Instead his eyes got very wide, amazed at all he could gleam from his friends expression alone.  
“Makoto...” Haruka manged to say, this also seemed to be enough for the other man.  
He smiled, shakily releasing his hand, moving it back to his tea.  
“I didn't mean to make the conversation so depressing...sorry.” a light dust of color touched his cheeks, with pleasant warmth.  
“Don't apologize.” Haruka stated seriously, “I want to know you.” he glanced to the side feeling his own cheeks heating, making him smile.  
“I want that too.” Makoto said, Haruka didn't have to look at him to know his friend is still smiling.  
Though they are no longer holding hands, Makoto doesn't stop the back of his hand brushing Haruka's, which Haruka hasn't bothered moving back into his own personal space on the small counter. 

A little later after they had chatted and finished their tea, Haruka made his leave. He didn't want to be invited to dinner, he knew Makoto was one to offer and Haruka wouldn't have been able to refuse the kind man.  
He smiled to himself and stuffed his hands into his black jacket, single shopping bag swinging at his wrist.  
Walking home with thoughts of Makoto who was already pulling at his heart. Haruka never thought, that after a request to have their lunch hour together, that he would begin to fall so fast.  
_Maybe it wasn't fast at all...his mind suggests. I intend to find out more about Makoto..it might take me forever...I think I'd be happy with forever.._

_You've got it bad..._ Rin's voice entered his mind. Haruka rolled his eyes and deemed to ignore it, as he walked closer to home. 


	12. Sleep

**H** _aruka twitched,_ after what felt like forever, sleep tugging at him. Surrendering to it, he need it and no longer suffer nightmares. If he didn't get some restful sleep, his boss would send him home the moment she saw the dark rings under his eyes.  
He knew that he wouldn't get away with it much longer, his boss, was far to perceptive for her own good.  
Haruka couldn't complain really, it was nice that she cared enough to notice. Growing up, Haruka could get all kinds of emotions passed his mother. Even when he wanted her to see him, when he purposefully tried making her understand, she still was blind.  
 _Makoto...where have you been..._  
His new friend seemed to know him, what his mother refused to acknowledge in his being, Makoto brought forth. Makoto was just so easy to be around, like they where always meant to be next to each other in life.   
Haruka would never grow tired of thinking, of watching Makoto's face enter his vision.   
After letting the day flit though his head, in wonderful moments, Haruka sighed contentedly, if he was going to have good dreams, now would be it.

 _“mmmm”_ someone was panting in his ear, warmly, the sensual sound fluttering into the air and settling around his skin. Haruka breaths in sharply, raised dapples patterning his arms and spider trailing up his legs.   
Leaning back, away from the heat pulling him closer, he attempt to detail the person clinging to him.   
“Makoto..?” _he looks different somehow...younger_  
His eyes where tightly shut and he seemed nervous, even scared.   
“Makoto..are you alright?” Haruka questioned, feeling panic himself for the other man.   
His new friend opened his eyes, green iris's dark- with what Haruka can only describe as intense arousal. Haruka can feel, his breath snatched from his lungs at the sight.   
He becomes very aware of Makoto all around him, there seems to be nothing between them, his young friend is completely exposed.  
“mmm, 'm fine...wonderful in fact...I think I'm ready...for you to enter.” Makoto said, lowly, now gnawing at his bottom lip.  
The response should take him by surprise, however, his hand slides down the sheets following Makoto's curves.   
Finding out for himself that Makoto was indeed prepared, lubricant slicking his entrance which twitched under his touch.   
His own painful arousal had gone unnoticed until now. Remembering once more how to breath, Haruka saw how hard Makoto's cock looked resting on his belly, dribbling, freely and honestly.   
“You're sure...?” Haruka questioned, his whole body screamed _'take him...make him yours'_ but he held back the urge, to pulverize his friend.  
“Yes...I need you..” Makoto whispered out, arms out stretched for him. Haruka slipped forward, desperately wanting those strong arms around him.   
Makoto welcomed him, seeking out a kiss, which Haruka melted into, he's not even sure if he's holding any of his own weight or if Makoto is doing all the work. Lingering on Makoto's tongue, he slowly rolls to the side taking the other man with him. Makoto's leg hooks around his hip, locking him in place. Makoto rests his head in the crook of Haruka's elbow, smiling dreamily.   
Haruka slips a hand down between them, lining up with Makoto's entrance and pressing in the tip. Makoto closes his eyes again, wincing slightly, Haruka watches in awe, waiting for the muscles around his cock to relax. Though, he only moved when he saw the creases leave Makoto's face.  
Then he lent forward and once again kissed the other man, Makoto responded to that openly, parting his lips and humming encouragement. Which fell warmly into Haruka's likewise gapping mouth, trying to relive the pain by distracting his nervous partner.  
Haruka pressed in a little more, Makoto seemed intent on the kiss, his only substantial movement was to pull Haruka's hips close with his griping knee.  
Haruka felt like he was burning up, his boiling point could happen at any moment. Slowly, painfully so, he sunk into Makoto, until he couldn't get any further.  
Makoto's was panting heavily into him, nodding vigorously, asking him to continue. Haruka slipped his left hand around Makoto's thigh, feeling Makoto wrapping his arms around his waist.  
Haruka closed his eyes and pulled out, bitting his lip when he hitched his hips forward into their connecting heat.   
He felt Makoto's spine curl back, in an amazing arch, peeking though his lashes to see Makoto's head tossed back. His walls spammed around him tightly, pulling Haruka in and making him gasp out. Clinging to Makoto desperately, he found a rhythmic roll to his hips, pressing his face into Makoto's shoulder, feeling his partners moans shiver over his neck.   
“Makoto...” Haruka gowned lowly, his heavy cock twitching within him.  
“Haruka...” Makoto replied, his breathing sharp though his nose as he huffed,  
“ohhh...there..right..H hAruka..!!”   
Snapping his thrust into Makoto, he slammed into his prostate hard. Makoto's orgasm tingled though him with a loud cry escaping his lips. A warm substance splattering between them.

“Hahaa..!” Haruka sat upright suddenly. His skin was damp with sweat, he huffed a few deep breaths before slipping a hand into his night pants to relive the throbbing organ inside. The dream was still so vivid, so with a hum Haruka lay back and griped himself slowly. Drawing his moist palm over his overheated cock.  
Biting his lip he closed his eyes and drifted into the pleasure tingling his limbs, desperately trying to keep his voice from tumbling out.  
Panting, he pumped his shaft lingeringly, already he could feel that this was going to be an amazing orgasm.   
His mind brought forth the image of Makoto, lost in absolute pleasure, the sheen of moisture clinging to his skin.  
His head tossed back, mouth open with a cry that didn't even make is out of his chest. Haruka arched into his grip, body spamming and he was gone, with a flick over the head of his hard cock.   
Seaman coating over his hand, warmly. Taking deep calming breaths, as he came down once more, he loosened his hold and felt the substance cooling gently on his skin. Haruka let go, resting back and enjoying the feeling as it continued to tingle though his spent body.   
After consideration, he knew, over all that didn't prove any more restful then the nightmares. But he shrugged it off, to fulfilled to complain. Though now, the bed seemed very empty once more.  
Resining himself to it, he crawled out of bed and slumped towards the bathroom to take a warm bath.   
Chika was already waiting for him, deeply purring from in the sink. 

**U** pon getting ready for the day, he remembered that the cross-dressing party was at the restaurant after closing tonight. With a sigh he packed the extra outfit in the bag that carried his lunch and headed out into the crisp air.  
He hadn't allowed, or felt the need to masturbate in ages, he'd been to stressed to take the time.  
Now, walking briskly towards work, he felt lighter then air, he hadn't even had time to feel bad about jerking off to his newest and dearest friend.   
Though, over the few days of knowing him, Haruka had more then a feeling, that Makoto was harboring similar feelings for him.   
Haruka breathed deeply, luckily, work left little room for thinking, it being a Saturday night the restaurant was at full capacity. They where swamped, his waitresses where running back and forth, none of them having time to even wish each other good afternoon, the dinner rush was beginning to trickle in.  
Everyone dance in and out with practiced ease, of course you couldn't go though a busy day without dropping something.   
Though, Haruka was pleased he had very few call backs. Also, he hadn't needed to go out on the main floor to even receive praise.  
“Haruka!” a cute girl with brown hair slipped up next to him, he was currently whipping, working on an elaborate dessert.  
He glanced at her, hopping she took this as acknowledgement to continue.  
“I'm really looking forward to the party tonight, did you find yourself an outfit?”  
Haruka kept a steady rhythm with his wrist, “Yes. I picked something out yesterday, took my cousin shopping.”  
“Ohh my goshh, really?” she trilled, “I can't wait to see you!”   
“Yumi! Let's go!” Someone called from the swinging door, the girl smiled bright at him, then flounced off to take orders once more.


	13. Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Haruka's outfit](http://doelly.tumblr.com/post/124717143988/old-art-commission-for-lilly-the-china-doll-of) Many thanks to my sibling for the wonderful, beautiful art of my love.

**H** aruka breathed deeply, slumping down on the back step. Makoto already sat across from him.  
“You look beat.” he commented. Haruka nodded, taking a bite of his lunch slowly, savoring the flavor.  
“It's a mad house today..” he told Makoto, after a few bites.  
“The party tonight is gonna over flow.” Makoto said, pulling out a cigarette, he placed it between his lips but didn't light it.  
“You gonna be there?” Haruka questioned, he knew that firefighters where planning to attend.  
Makoto nodded, taking the unused cigarette from his mouth and placing it behind his ear.  
“Yeah, actually, got a neighbor to baby sit even.” He brought one leg up to his chest, pulling it closer with strong arms. “Didn't have time to buy an outfit though..”  
“So, Etsuko, practically dived into his mother closet for me.” Makoto smiled sheepishly.  
Haruka smiled, watching the man across from him. Makoto had already finished his lunch, he must have waited for him and then just ate. Haruka knew he was late, he almost didn't take a lunch break, if he hadn't had Makoto waiting for him he would have just forgone food.  
“In the end I talked him out of it, guys I know are not planning to dress up. I would have, but couldn't fit these broad shoulders into any of my wifes few dresses.”  
“Makoto.” Haruka said, gently.  
“I don't mind talking about her, in fact, it's kind of a relief after years of people dancing around the subject.” Makoto's smile was honest, it always seemed to be so, Makoto very rarely put up a false mask.  
Though, Haruka is sure that even, if he where in pain he wouldn't let anybody see it. _How long has it been...when where you able to smile again...stop crying alone at night...?_  
_what made you finely take your wedding band off, after seven years of marriage, plus seven years of raising her children?_  
_How have you made it though those fourteen years?_ Haruka thinks, he knows that life has been easy for him, he hasn't lost anyone dear, nor has anything really bad happened to him. He found a job rather quickly after culinary arts school, he had lived with Rin for two years before finding his apartment. He found Chika, or she found him more like, crawling out from under the near by dumpster.  
Other then a dark, past, one he literately can't see for shadows, he knows he couldn't comfort Makoto.  
“Haru..really it's alright, I think I could talk to you about anything to be honest.”  
Looking at his companion, Haruka knew that Makoto meant every word.  
“Makoto...are you afraid of anything..?” Haruka asked.  
His friend seemed kind of puzzled, “Well, sure...the normal things, to tell you the truth I'm a real scardy cat a lot of the time.”  
Haruka smiled, “Is it stupid, that my worst fear is losing someone...but I still have all the people in my life....I'm even willing to keep my mother and she's a basket case.”  
Makoto is silent for a moment, Haruka wonders if he's gone to far, “I think, we fear what has happened, maybe you've lost someone and don't realize it...”  
Haruka waits a heartbeat, “I think you're right...I just wish I could remember who I lost..I feel like they where the most important person in the world and I can't give you a name...what could have happened, for my body...that it needed to relive my mind of such a thing in order to survive?”  
Makoto took a deep breath, “I've been trying to answer that, for years.”  
Haruka nodded, maybe he'll never know, maybe, it was something better let go.  
“I'm glad I found you though, Haruka.” Makoto said suddenly.  
“Me too..” Haruka said, letting the words drift between them.  
“I...hope you don't mind me saying, that I can't imagine life without you...”  
“Say what you want.” Haruka shrugged, a smile lighting his face as he felt his cheeks warm up pleasantly.  
Makoto's alarm choose then to interrupt them. The tall man sighed as he stood, “I'll see you tonight, Haruka.”  
Nodding Haruka watched Makoto slowly back away, “Makoto.”  
He smiled and waved, turning the right way and was around the corner with long legged strides. 

**H** aruka's mind drifted, he was in the back room getting changed, being the last to do so. He could hear the party, in full swing already.  
Aoi had sent him a text, telling him to have a good time and to send her pictures. Haruka smiled, stuffing his phone in the pocket of his work pants, placing his cloths in the backpack and pulling on his dress.  
Once he had donned everything, he crossed the room to the mirror. He really did like this dress, Aoi had good taste. The leggings worked well with the length of the material bunched at his knees, his jean patterned flats went well with the jean jacket that he brushed straight.  
Nodding at his reflection he went to put his backpack away, so he could join the party out in the main room. Being in the room was odd, normally he never went in there, unless to receive praise or complainants, he always used the back entrance to get to the kitchen.  
Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, telling the owner that, this was the best idea ever, several guys where looking out of place trying to hide in shadow or behind girlfriends that had dragged them along.  
However, more then not, the waiters Haruka recognized even in female clothing, where relaxing and attempting conversations with said boyfriends.  
“Ohhh Haruka!” a group of his staff rushed forward, “you look wonderful!”  
“Thank you.” Haruka said. They gushed over him a little longer before Haruka slipped away into the crowd. Some of the tables had been moved and couples where slow dancing. Haruka watched them for a moment.  
“You look very nice.” someone said to him.  
Haruka turned, it was Makoto, he didn't stop the smile that spread across his face. “Thank you, Makoto.” Haruka whispered.  
His best friend was wearing a dark t-shirt with the firefighters station logo on it, simple jeans showing off his waist. Makoto's hand rubbed at the back of his neck. “Would you maybe...like to dance..?”  
“Yes.” Haruka stated. Makoto smiled, relief flooding his eyes. Haruka took his offered hand, letting the taller man lead him out with the other dancers.  
Makoto's hand slipped naturally to his waist, still holding Haruka's right hand to lead him. Haruka placed his hand on Makoto's shoulder.  
They turned in place a few times before Makoto felt him relax, slowly flowing the music. He could also feel Makoto relax, so pressed closer to him.  
“You've danced with a man before.” Haruka commented.  
“Mmm...yeah...I had a boyfriend in high school.” Makoto said.  
Haruka bit his lip, everything Makoto said and did brought them closer together, it felt so natural to follow Makoto's dance.  
Haruka kept away from drinking alcohol, noticing Makoto doing the same, even though he was at a party, he had a child waiting for him at home. It was close to midnight when they left the restaurant hand in hand, Haruka hadn't bothered changing.  
Makoto kicked at a stone, as he walked Haruka home. After a moment, Haruka kicked it back to him when it rolled his way.  
“So...um, maybe on your next day off, we could go to a movie together...” Makoto said, chewing on his tongue.  
“I normally go swimming, but I think we can do both..make a day out of it?” Haruka tightened his grip on Makoto's hand.  
“That sounds wonderful.” Makoto nodded, looking at him without slowing the steady pace they had. Haruka stopped them a ways from his apartment, turning to him with a smile, “I'd invite you in..but you have someone waiting for you at home.”  
Makoto nodded, “Probably to soon anyway...”  
Haruka shrugged, making Makoto chuckle.  
Leaning forward he gently pressed a good-bye kiss to Haruka's lips. The moment was over before Haruka even knew it. After a breath, Haruka stood up on his toes for another, longer kiss. Makoto welcomed him, lips parting invitingly. An arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him up closer as he opened his mouth too. Makoto broke the kiss, resting his forehead to Haruka's,  
“Better get home, kinda chilly out here...” Makoto whispered.  
Haruka nodded and untangled himself from him grudgingly, he didn't want to leave the tall man, but after last nights dream, it was best Makoto went home. He watched his boyfriend leave, turning around to wave fleetingly.  
Haruka fished out his phone from the pants in his backpack, thumbing though the contacts and selecting 'Aoi'  
_“Hello?”_ she whispered.  
“Hey, you think you could sleep at my place tonight?” Haruka said, resuming his walk back to an empty apartment.  
“ _Sure...if you don't mind company...I have a bit of a surprise.”_ Aoi said, her voice still monotone.  
“See you there then.” Haruka said. He heard her hang up. 

**A** oi arrived less then ten minutes later, Haruka was holding Chika when he opened the door. She was loaded down herself, a dipper bag tossed around her body and a car seat complete with baby at her elbow.  
He let the young woman slip passed and into the house, straight for the living room. “Thanks for letting us stay the night, you look really nice by the way!” she said setting the carrier down so she could unbuckle and pick up the infant.  
“Thanks, I really need the company.”  
“The papers went though...I'm a mom now.” she said, the babies head resting in the crook of her arm. Haruka nodded, “What's your sons name?”  
“I got to name him, the mother was really young I think, gave him up at the hospital.” she rocked him a little and said, “I named him, Ayaka, the same kanji on the end as yours.”  
Haruka smiled and sat down on the couch, so the two of them stood above him. “Nagisa would say we've added another guy with a girly name to the club.”  
Aoi smiled, at him, then once again facing the baby, who gurgled fussily but wasn't wailing. “He's really tired, I gave him a bottle not that long ago and he's had a long day.”  
Looking at Haruka she questioned, “Would you like to hold him..?”  
Haruka blinked, “...yeah..if you don't mind.”  
Gently, Aoi leaned forward to pass the baby down to him, when she was sure he had a good hold she stood back.  
Haruka watched the baby in his arms, holding out a finger to him, Ayaka grasp the finger tightly. After a moment Haruka said, “I love Makoto...”  
Aoi hummed approvingly, “If you didn't, I would.”  
Haruka smirked, “He raised two of these...on his own, without much help, he made sure they had everything they needed. Even now, when he's tired, he still makes time, he loves his family above anything else in the world. Now, he's accepted me...I hardly know him and yet my heart is beating so fast just thinking about him.”  
Aoi sat next to him, crossing her arms over her chest, “I'm just soo..glad Haruka. Out of all the family, I was with you, though that year and all the other dark years that followed. I've never seen you as happy, as I do know. I'm just so glad, you've found what you've been looking for. Makoto. I'll love him forever, as long as he keeps this up and I know he will.”  
Haruka smiled, content to sit with her and Ayaka, “We can stay the night, but have to leave in the morning to meet a friend for breakfast, I'll try not to wake you by rolling out of bed.”  
“Thanks for staying.” Haruka said to her, sleep dropping his eyes.  
“Anytime, now, I think it's time for bed, for all of us.”


	14. Storm

Warm. Groggily, awareness trickles into the young boys mind. Someone is watching him, as the warm person next to him slowly breaths.   
“Makoto.” the name naturally slipping out of his mouth. His legs are tangled up, and he has no wish to move them.   
“Haruka.” the tone of voice is so loving, he can hear it. His lips twitch, the corners lifting up.   
“How long have you been awake?” Haruka whispers, not bothering to open his eyes. Knowing that his smile would be noticed.   
His partner chuckles, “A long time it feels like, I just couldn't disturb you.”   
Haruka feels him shift, an arm slipping around his bare waist.   
Peeking though his lashes, he can see his smiling boyfriend. Though, he can also tell that he has slept very well.   
Relenting, he blinks a few times, leaning toward his best friend.   
“Makoto...” Haruka asks, “How do you feel?”   
His smile never falters, as Makoto tilts his head to the side; considering not only the question but how to answer it.   
“I'd say, what I'm feeling is normal, seeing how I gave you my virginity; not that long ago.” Makoto's eyes shine passed his weariness.   
“Humm.” Haruka mumbled, “As long as the pain isn't to much...”   
“You where very careful.” Makoto assured him. “I couldn't wish for a better first time.”   
“All the same, we should wait a little while before doing it again.” Haruka whispers, tilting forward to nuzzle into Makoto's strong shoulder.   
He can feel the gentle press of Makoto's lips, on his scalp. The fingers of his boyfriends left hand brushing though his tousled hair.   
“I'll wait, if you think it's best.” Makoto muffled, into his hair, “Though, in all honesty, I miss the feeling of you already.”   
Haruka slips his left hand under his partners arm, so he can run it up Makoto's broad back; ghosting his fingers over warm skin.   
He can feel Makoto's relax into the gentle touch, with a brief shiver.   
“I love you.” Haruka tells him, the words almost lost in his boyfriends shoulder.   
“I'll never forget that.” Makoto whispers back, “I love you too.”   
Haruka smiled, for what feels like the hundredth time this night.   
Pulling back, he let Makoto see it, tilting his chin up.   
Makoto leans forward, placing a tentative kiss to his lips. Haruka responds in kind, parting his lips and letting his boyfriend deepen the kiss.   
A shriek so loud, it hurts his teeth, has him pulling away from Makoto in shock.   
Everything seems to shatter around him, he holds onto Makoto's hand desperately, reaching for his phone without thought even.   
Trying his best to sooth Makoto from the panic, he can feel fluttering from his partners chest. Haruka hardly hears his fathers voice pick up on the other end of the call.   
Clouds rumble in his head, as his vision fogs. Everything feels like a storm, the very air filled with water that chokes him.   
Gasping, as the world around him seems to spin.   
His only thought; _Makoto...it was so warm._  
Now, he shivers; trying to reel his mind back to comprehend the images; that are shadows in front of his eyes.   
Haruka pants and thrashes, everything is happening to fast; “Makoto!!”   
His very skin, feels like it's being dragged into darkness, there are people but he can't tell who.   
Holding onto his chest he tries to clear his mind, shaking his head; it feels like his body is being broken in two. Like part of everything holding him together, is being riped away from him.   
Everything is white, even the shapes, but theres no detail, just shapes, he sinks, falling to his knees.   
_Where am I?_  
Haruka doesn't know. It's cold, the floor is cold.   
“Makoto....” he sobs, “Makoto...”   
You said you'd never forget...sluggishly enters his mind.   
“Forget...” he gnaws at his lip, testing the word in his mouth, “forget...”   
Haruka ignores the echoing shout of his first name, the voice means nothing to him; his own name is meaningless.   
He succumbs to that sinking, dragging feeling tugging on him.   
Darkness; everything is so black; there is nothing left.   
**_Nothing._ **

**G** asping Haurka sat up gulping for breath, he brought a hand to his face and felt the dampness on his cheeks. It was all to much, with a sob Haruka fell into the tears, his heart still racing as he cried into his blanket.   
Aoi was no longer sleeping next to him in the big bed, Ayaka's things aren't tossed in the chair. Taking a few deep breaths, he stops himself from calling her and interrupting a breakfast date.   
When he calmed himself he had time to think, _Makoto...was in my nightmare this time-_ sniffing he looked at his clock in time for the alarm to go off.   
Sighing deeply he hit the button to stop the noise, knowing he would have to get a move on or he wouldn't get anything done. Chika raised her head to look at him sleepily, seeming to ask if he was alright.  
“I don't think so.” Haruka told her and got up, looking around the large room. _I just need to get out of here._   
Grabbing the things he needed for work, he left his apartment, walking blindly along his normal path every morning. His boss would be in by now, however, he knew that he wasn't expected for two hours. Haruka hadn't even grabbed breakfast, turning his head he noticed the fire station. He passed by it everyday on his walk to work, now he found his feet heading toward it.   
Haruka didn't know if Makoto was there, nor did he really have a reason for showing up so early and unexpected. That reasoning didn't seem to stop his feet though or his voice asking the first man he met, “Makoto?”   
The man looked at him with his head tilted, “Oh, Tachibana-san?”   
Haruka didn't know Makoto's last name, however the young man waved him to follow. Up a flight of stairs he saw his friend, safe and unharmed sitting at a table with a cup of coffee wrapped up in his hands.   
“Tachibana-san! Your new boyfriend is here to see you!” the man Haruka had followed said, this made Makoto look up and green eyes found his like a magnet.   
Releasing his cup on the table where it was resting Makoto rubbed at the back of his neck with one hand, looking like he was going to correct the young man, that they hadn't yet gotten to having a proper date or titling anything, but instead,  
“Haruka! What's wrong?” he stood from his seat, leaving his cup behind and crossing the room.   
“Makoto...” Drifted from Haruka's lips and that's all that would. _Don't go crying again.._  
He was engulfed in a hug before he knew what was happening, all his breath seemed to come back at once as he relaxed into the embrace. Haruka felt a hand soothing his black hair, which had probably been sticking up at odd angles. Haruka took a deep breath, breathing in Makoto.

 

 **M** akoto talked him into calling in sick for the day, offering to take him home. The sky is getting dark and a storm is immanent, Haruka just hoped they would get back to his apartment before it really started crashing down around them. Makoto was pointing to the clouds, as a streak of light cracked in the distance.   
A flash of memory came with it suddenly, _“Makoto! I see lightning!” his heart was beating fast and his tone was desperate but Makoto still went closer to the water. Like the figure always dose in the dreams I've been having._ Haruka thought as a loud rumble crashed down on them. It made Haruka jump and knock into his walking companion, who asked, “Haru? Are you okay?”   
Stuffing his hands deep in his hoodie pockets, he looked away, shakily but didn't say anything. The storm was picking up tempo along with rain pelting down, they seem to be walking right toward the thunderstorm.   
Makoto pulled them to a stop under a over hang. Haruka didn't want to stop, his apartment wasn't much further away. He stood there though, shivering and shaking, he could feel Makoto's eyes on him. It was distracting and he wasn't ready for the next loud boom. He audibly gasp and covered his head with his arms.   
“Haru!” Makoto called worriedly, Haruka felt a hand slide between his shoulder blades. Makoto rubbed his back to soothing him.   
“You should have told me you are afraid of storms.” he said as he pulled at Haruka's arm to stop him from hiding.   
Haruka aloud the grip to move him, looking up to see Makoto's concerned green eyes staring at him. When the raven haired man didn't say anything, Makoto asked, “Would you like to try and get to your apartment?”   
Makoto wrapped his arm around Haruka's shoulders, Haruka nodded and slipped his arm around his boyfriends waist. Together they dashed into the rain, holding onto each other as they went. 

 

 **W** hen they arrived at the rather large apartment, Haurka shook his head, drops of water pelting in several directions.  
They where greeted by Chika, she _Meowd_ like she had been worried about Haruka and wrapped around his legs back and forth. Then she investigated the new comer, Makoto leaned down and offered her his figures. With a judgmental sniff she considered him before rubbing his hand with her face: deeming him fit.   
Makoto chuckled good-naturedly, and tickled her under her furry chin. This earned him a purr from the calico cat. Haruka shiver once more, a mixture from the cold water running down his neck and the storm still conducting it's symphony. Haruka offered to make some tea, but when he turned to look at Makoto, he felt his gaze before noticing the tall man staring.  
“Why don't we call out?” Makoto suggested, he too had called it a day from work. Makoto's Capitan almost pushed him out the door, Makoto seemed to rarely take time off for anything. Even shaking Haruka's hand and telling him to make sure Makoto had some fun for once. Makoto wouldn't have to pick Etsuko up from school for several hours.   
“Okay.” Haruka agreed, picking up Chika and settling down on the coach. Makoto took out his cell phone and said, “Also, we need to swap phone numbers. I'll give yours to Etsuko too, so he knows it.”  
Haruka nodded, “You're my boyfriend...right Makoto?” Haruka suddenly, felt the need to hear Makoto say it, though they had a mutual agreement to have a first date and even have already kissed, he wanted to know that Makoto was with him.   
Makoto looked taken aback for only a moment, then he turned away from his phone and walked over to where he sat. Makoto dropped his phone next to Haurka, leaning forward, Haruka accepted his kiss gently. They lingered like that, slowly drinking each other.   
Holding onto the moment, the feeling of Makoto warm and alive on his lips. Makoto was the one to part them, backing off only slightly, “Yes. I'm yours Haruka, boyfriend, partner. If you ever need me, I'm here.”   
Haruka could hear Chika purring, but loosened his grip and let her slip from his grasp, fisting his hands instead in Makoto's damp hoodie. Encouraging him into his personal space further.   
“Makoto...stay here tonight...” Haruka whispered.  
“I can't...Etsuko.” Makoto said, biting his bottom lip.  
“He can stay too.” Haruka told him.   
Makoto smiled, “Alright, first of all though, we need to get some food in you.” He found his phone on the cushion next to Haruka's hip, picking it back up he straighted and called for food to be delivered.   
They eat in silents while the storm continued outside, the delivery man had sloshed his way up the stairs and Makoto gave him a kind tip. Haruka let the warm food calm him, enjoying the fact that Makoto had pressed his chair at the table closer then necessary to him.   
The gentle tap on the window making things very comfortable, Haruka could feel the storm rolling way, after awhile, taking the thunder with it.  
Haruka took a deep breath, leaning into his boyfriend as he slowly ate.   
“If the storm really let's up, we should head over to my place after picking up Etsuko, so the two of us can grab over night bags.”   
Haruka nodded, setting down his fork, looking over at Makoto, “Thank you.”   
“Oh..hun, you're very welcome.” Makoto said, slinging his arm over Haruka's shoulders.

 **T** hey stood outside the school waiting for the chimes, Haruka had his hands stuffed in his hoodie, glancing up at the sky, the clouds had parted and it's a clear blue color.   
Only the puddles and damp sidewalks really told you that it had rained, Makoto put a hand on his arm making him took back toward him. Makoto was smiling at him gently, Haruka took his hand out of his pocket and held it out to him.  
His boyfriend took the offering, lacing their fingers together. They watched as students started to trickle out the main entrance, some calling out to friends or parents. Their grip on each other slipped away as Makoto took steps forward to meet his son, he was hurrying across the yard.   
“Hello, daddy!” Etsuko said brightly.   
“Hey, sweetheart, have a good day?” Makoto asked him, keeling down and zipping up his hoodie for him.   
“Pretty good, a teacher from another class brought in a bunny and let us pet him!” Haruka watched them, smiled when Etsuko noticed him.  
“Haru!” Etsuko exclaimed, then looked at his father with a smile.   
“We're gonna stay at Haruka's tonight, maybe get pizza.” Makoto told him.  
“Really?!” Etsuko swings his backpack off his one shoulder and passes it to his father. Flying toward Haruka. The other man watches his progress before leaning down and holding out his arms.   
Etsuko giggles as he's lifted up, “Oooff,” Haruka says as his holds the boy, feeling him wrap his arms around his neck and nuzzle into his shoulder.  
Makoto followed slower, carrying his sons bag. “Etsuko, you're really to heavy for that...”   
Haruka sways gently, the boy knees holding some of his wight up on each of Haruka's hips. Haruka tightens his grip on Etsuko, “I don't mind, Makoto.”  
His boyfriend smiles, “Alright, let's head home and pick up somethings.”

 

 **H** aurka sits on the edge of Makoto's bed, looking around slightly, Makoto's over night bag sits next to him and Makoto is going though the walk-in closet. Haruka can hear Etusko in the other room, packing his own bag, if he leans a little he can see the boy.   
“Etsuko, pack your swimming trunks, we might go to the pool!” Makoto called to him.  
“Okay!” was Etsuko's enthusiastic reply. Makoto walked out of the closet, with an arm full of cloths. He set them down in Haruka's lap and began folding each piece placing them in his bag.   
“You noticed the pictures? The last time you where here I mean.” Makoto said, glancing at him with a smile when Haruka looked at him, “The one of my wife is at the front now.”   
“Sorry...” he began, knowing it hadn't been his place to have entered Makoto's room without permission.  
“It's alright, Haruka. Even that day...before we clarified things between us, you're welcome here.” Makoto told him, he folded another garment and placed it in the bag. “I just noticed is all, it made me happy actually...that you took the time to look at her picture.”  
Haruka took a deep breath, eyes flicking down to the items still resting in his lap, “She really loved you. I like the fact that you even keep her picture out, that you talk about her, I'm not sure we would have gotten along; though we would have had one thing in common...you.”   
Haruka looks up, a slight smile twitching his face, “Tell me, when did you stop wearing your wedding ring? it couldn't have been very long ago.”  
Makoto glanced away, staring at his half packed bag.  
“U-um...after the first time we had lunch...and during...” Makoto bit his lip, looking up to say, “I hid my hand in my pocket, the moment I got home I took it off...put it away...I felt lighter, I know that Kotone would have wanted me to move on, in fact I think out of everything, me being alone would have made her sad. But I found you, I knew, almost the very moment you first spoke...I found my partner.”   
“What took us so long, Makoto?” Haruka asked, “You had to raise Etsuko and Emi all alone.”  
Makoto shook his head, slipping down to his knees he claimed the space between Haruka's legs, pressing his forehead to his boyfriends stomach.   
“I have you now,” Makoto whispered, “I won't be greedy, not when I'm so lucky to have you...my boys; they already love you..I couldn't possibly wish for more, even if I live my whole life with a gape in my memories...I'll still have you...Haruka.”  
Haurka ran his fingers though Makoto's hair gently, not knowing what to say. His finger tips ran over a impression on the side of Makoto's head, but he didn't think much of it as he leaned forward into his partner, breathing in his soft scent.   
“Daddy, Haruuu, I'm all packed!” Etsuko called from the doorway, Makoto tilted his head toward his son so he wouldn't have to remove himself from Haruka's hold.  
“Okay, sweetheart, set your bag by the top of the stairs and we'll be right there.” Makoto told him, smiling.  
Once they pulled away from each other, together they managed to get Makoto packed. Walking into the hall, Etsuko was waiting by the stairs with his over night bag, his aquatic life book propped open on his knees.   
Haruka picked up the boys bag and slung it around his body, leading the way down the stairs.   
Outside had grown chilly, Makoto locked the apartment and held out a hand for his son to take, which he did, as they started to walk down the hall towards the stairs, Etsuko also took Haruka's hand. Makoto carrying his book for him.  
“The bunny was really soft.” he was telling them, “And pure white!” They walked slowly and listened to his exciting day at school, how when the bunny wiggled it's nose everyone had squealed in delight.   
Haruka smiled the whole way, gently tightening his grip on the boys hand and glancing at Makoto, feeling extremely glad he took the day off.  
Thrilled that he would have Makoto and Etsuko all night and maybe a little in the morning before heading back to work.   
_Yes. This has been good for me._

 **W** hen they managed to get everyone into his apartment, Chika was sleeping on the couch, she had already approved of Makoto...but a child, in _her_ house was not on the list.   
She hightailed it to the bedroom where she sulked for an hour before allowing Makoto to bring her out to see everybody, even then she pretended to be miffed at him, despite purring when handed down to Etsuko's waiting arms.   
Etsuko sat with her on the couch while Makoto talked with the pizza man at the door, Haruka took a seat next to Etsuko. Makoto kicked the door closed with his foot and carried the warm boxes into the kitchen, smiling at them fleetingly.  
“Glad you had a good day at school.” Haruka told his small companion.   
“Me too! I can't wait for Emi to get back so he can see the bunny!” Estuko said, soothing Chika's fur.   
“That's right your brother will be home soon.” Haurka said, smiling, tickling his content cat under the chin.   
“Only two more days until Emi is home!” he exclaimed, Chika looked up at them and yawned, slipping way from them to sleep on the armchair instead. The smell of pizza was drifting from the kitchen as Etsuko and Haruka curled up on the couch together.  
“Looking forward to seeing him?” Haruka asked him.  
“Yes! I think he'll really like you! I can't wait for you to meet him!” Etsuko said. Makoto joined them with a smile, settling close to them.   
“He's been talking about it constantly.” Makoto told his boyfriend, “Even had to call his brother and tell him all about our shopping trip; mostly about you though.”   
Etsuko smiled unashamedly, “Emi said he's glad, he hasn't heard dad this happy before, he wants to 'meet the wonderful man, who brought on this change'” he held his finger in the air as if he has quoted his brothers words.  
Haruka tilted his head towards Makoto, who smiled, a tint to his face, Haruka smiled back at him.   
“Why don't you pick out a movie.” Makoto told his son. Etsuko nodded wiggling out of their puppy pile, bouncing across the room to kneel in front of the dvd shelf.   
Makoto watched him for a moment, then turned back to his boyfriend. Haruka shifted even closer, draping his legs over Makoto's lap. Makoto kisses his forehead gently, arm resting on the back of the couch, around Haruka's shoulders. 

**H** aruka carried Etsuko to bed, he had fallen asleep before the movie had ended. Makoto was currently washing dishes in the kitchen despite Haruka telling him he didn't have to. Setting Etsuko down gently, he followed the young boy, pulling the dark blanket over them and snuggling down with his boyfriends sleeping son. Trying to stay awake, waiting for Makoto to join them. After a moment he lowly called, “Makoto?” Etsuko continued to breath slowly.  
Makoto didn't respond but appeared in the doorway.  
“Get in here..” Haruka said. The tall man took a deep breath, there was a rustle as Makoto changed. Then slipped into bed, arm falling into place, holding Haruka close. His face pressed into the back Haruka's neck, he breathed out contentment as he relaxed.   
“I haven't shared a bed in so long.” Makoto murmured sleepily.  
“Doesn't feel lonely anymore...” Haruka replied, eyelids closing as he sank into the other twos warmth.   
“Yeah...” Makoto whispered.


	15. Wecome back

**W** _ater,_ the ocean at night. Haruka felt the water tugging him, pulling him into the deep unknown.  
**D** _ark,_ it swallowed him whole. He gasped for breath, thrashing, his skin felt warm and cold.  
**B** _reathe,_ Haruka tried and gulped down murky liquid. He attempted to break the surface, following,  
**“H** _aruka!”_ He held out his hand, desperate to find the owner of that voice, mouthing under the water,  
**“M** _akoto!”_ a hand slipped into his, encouraging him upwards. 

Haruka woke up, his skin was damp and he took a deep shaky breath as his mind foggily returned. He realized, someone really was holding his hand, for once he wasn't alone in his big bed. Makoto was close, sitting up with him, one hand entwining their fingers the other protectively around his waist as he leaned forward into Haruka's shoulder.  
“Welcome back...” Makoto told him quietly.  
“Oh my god, Etsuko...is he alright I didn't hurt him did I...?!” Haruka's body was to tired to move and look around, to dislodge Makoto's warmth.  
“I'm fine.” a small voice said from his other side, slipping closer so that he could lay across Haruka's lap. Haruka managed to move the hand not holding Makoto's, petting the boys sleep ruffled hair gently.  
“What about you, Haru...I've never seen a nightmare like that before... dad couldn't wake you...he tried several times.”  
Evening his breathing out, “No ones, ever been able to wake me up before...”  
Neither of them said anything, for a few heartbeats they sat in silents.  
“I'm sorry, I should have warned you about my nightmares...I didn't mean to scare you both like that...” Haruka whispered leaning back into Makoto's embrace. Makoto only tightened his hold, “it's alright...you're safe now.”  
Haruka nodded, relaxing a little, soothing Etusko's hair.  
“I should take a bath...” he said sleepily.  
“You want me to go start the water for you?” Makoto asked.  
Haruka shook his head, “Stay.”  
Makoto kissed lightly at his neck, just under his ear, “Wanna try getting more sleep?”  
“Yeah...” Haruka agreed, he honestly didn't feel like moving, the bed was comfortable and had Makoto in it. He could feel Makoto smiled, then the gentle pull to help him lay back.  
Haruka tucked his head under Makoto's chin, Etusko shifted with them and curled up behind Haruka.  
Nuzzling his face into Haruka's back, pressing his forehead between Haruka's shoulder blades. Drifting back to sleep after that was easy, he could feel Makoto's breathing, Etsuko's tight grip on the back of his t-shirt. 

“Haru!”  
blinking a few times, Haruka was already awake just pleasantly resting, Etsuko bounded across the room and jumped onto the bed. Haruka smiled and welcome him.  
“Dad's made breakfast!” he told Haruka brightly, touching Haruka's face with small hands and pushing back his bangs.  
“I figured, smells good.” Haruka commented.  
“Dads an awesome cook!” Etsuko exclaimed, “but he says you're better..?”  
Haruka took hold of Etsuko's arms, the boy let him flop them around a little, giggling,  
“I'm not sure about that, I went to cooking school, but that doesn't make me better.” Haruka reasoned.  
Etsuko leaned into him, “You went to cooking school? That's amazing!”  
“I'm glad you think so.” Haruka said, stiffing a yawn.  
Etsuko crawled on top of him, tucking his head under Haruka's chin.  
“You know..” Haruka poked at the boys sides, “you're just begging to be tickled.” Etsuko nuzzled closer, already giggling, “You wouldn't...”  
“No?” Haruka challenged, rolling them over and gently pressing his hands into his belly. Etsuko squealed in delight, tucking in on himself and trapping Haurka's hands in place. Haruka laughed along with him, ghosting his fingers over the ticklish area.  
“Haruuu.” Etsuko gasp out, but didn't make any attempts to get away.  
“Had enough?” Haruka questioned, brightly.  
Etsuko continued to laugh, even when Haruka paused.  
“Hahaha” the sound made him chuckle. “Dad..daaad...he's got me dadd”  
Haruka glanced around, Makoto was watching them from the bedroom door, a smile plastered over his face, arms across his chest as he leaned on the frame. He put his hands in the air, when he was called upon.  
“I'm just as helpless... son. He's a ruthless tickle Monster, there's no way the two of us would make it out alive.”  
Haruka smiled back at him, “Well, I suppose I'll let you both off the hook; only because breakfast smells so wonderful.”  
Etsuko sat up in his hold, wrapping his arms loosely around him. Haruka kissed the top of his head, “Go on, get some food.”  
Etsuko wiggled away from him, slipping out of the bed and rushing passed his father. Haruka let out a breath, stretching out on the bed and laying on his side, hand crooking to prop up his head and look at his boyfriend. Makoto smiled at him lovingly, stepping forward to press a good morning kiss to his lips, gently.  
“How are you feeling?” he asked, once he pulled away slightly.  
“Rested.” Haruka said.  
“Mmm, Good.” Makoto whispered, he sought another kiss, lingering on Haruka's mouth. Haruka hummed contentment.  
“Dadd!” Etsuko called from the other room. Makoto glanced that way, before turning back to Haruka.  
“Your boss called, she wants you to know that, she's giving you the week off and already has your backup in place.”  
Haruka sighed.  
“What do you want to do today...?” Makoto asks him.  
“I'll probably go to the pool.” Haruka said.  
“Do you mind, if Etsuko and I tag along?” Makoto whispered.  
Haruka blinked at him, “You'll stay with me..?”  
Makoto nodded, “Of course, Haruka...I'm not about to leave you...unless you don't want me..” Haruka shook his head aggressively,  
“No..please, I'd love to spend time with you and Etsuko.”  
Makoto smiled, “Okay. Etsuko has a few days off from school, because we'll be picking his brother up tomorrow.”  
He then kissed Haruka on the forehead, a hand resting on his cheek, “You need to eat though...”  
“Mmm, right behind you.” Haruka shifted to get up, Makoto giving him room. 

“The pool!” Etsuko exclaimed as he sat at the dinning room table, his feet almost brushing the floor as he swings them back and forth.  
“Yep, then tomorrow we'll pick up your brother and spend time with grandpa at the book store, he's missed Emi as much as you.” Makoto told him, pulling out a chair so Haruka would sit down.  
“I don't intend for it to count as a date, but we could go see a movie today as well.” Makoto added as he placed a plate of eggs in front of his boyfriend.  
“It counts.” Haruka told him gently, “we have plenty of time to have a date, just the two of us.”  
Makoto smiled at this response, setting a plate in front of Etsuko. Then sat down next to his son, with his own breakfast.  
"I grabed the paper so we can pick a movie." Makoto says.  
"You can pick, or Etsuko." Haruka nods, taking a bite from his eggs, "Makoto...theses are amazing..."  
"Oh?" Makoto looks up at him, "I'm glad you like them."  
"Like them..?" Haruka whispered, "...these are better then I make."  
Makoto looks down at his food, smiling shyly.  
"I don't belive that." Makoto muttered.  
"I'll make breckfest sometime." Haruka shiffted closer to him, lightly kissing his temple. "Etsuko can vote."  
"Sounds fun!" Etsuko agreed. 

It being the start of the week, the pool wasn't all that busy. A few ladies in the deep end doing back and forth with laps.  
Haruka was ready to jump in but he waited for Makoto, Etsuko was already in the low end of the pool.  
“Haruka?” Makoto asked, rubbing at the back of his neck slowly.  
He looked around at his name, Makoto was watching him, “How...long have you had night terrors?”  
Haruka shrugged, he didn't really need to think about it, “I started having them at sixteen.”  
Makoto sighed, his shoulders slumped, taking a seat at the edge of the pool.  
Dangling his legs in the water, looking lost in thought, blindly watching Etsuko doing short laps.  
Haruka slipped down next to him, turning his face to watch his boyfriends profile.  
“Before the party, you said that your body expelled something traumatic from your past, how true was that?” Makoto asked, without looking at him.  
“I can't say for sure...but according to my therapist, I did have a traumatic experience in which I lost my memories.” Haruka replied, kicking his legs a little in the clear water.  
Makoto chuckled without humor, “I was told, something very similar.”  
His hand slips around his partners, Haruka took it without question.  
“I don't have nightmares though, it's terrible that you've had to suffer though them for so long.”  
Haruka slipped down into the low end where they sat, standing on the tiled bottom and turning around, slipping his hands around Makoto's waist, his boyfriend knees parting for him to take up the space there.  
“Water helps. However...last night was the first time someone pulled me out, brought me back to consciousness.” Makoto's hands rested naturally on his shoulders, “Then, Makoto...I was able to fall back to sleep...in your arms.” Haruka whispered, hopping his eyes showed how serious he was.  
Makoto inhaled deeply, “I helped...?”  
Haruka pressed as close as he possibly could, “More then you know.”  
“...I love you.” Makoto said, gnawing at his lip nervously as he admitted it.  
“Makoto, I love you too.” Haruka said, catching green eyes as he says it. His boyfriend smiled, it touching his entire being.  
Etsuko swam up behind him and wrapped his arms around Haruka's neck.  
“Haru...” he said, “swim with me?”  
“Sure.” Haruka said, gripping Makoto's waist fleetingly before pulling away from him.  
“Race you!” Etsuko said, splashing back into the water, Haruka chased after him, freestyle stroking across the pool.  
“Wow.” Etsuko breathed out, “Dad, come on, Haru's an amazing swimmer!”  
Makoto joined them, lining up for a well balanced back stroke. Etsuko splashed at them, then began practicing his butterfly. A mixture of swimming and joking around, Etsuko smiling the whole time.  
Makoto keeping an eye on the time, so they wouldn't miss the movie they wanted to go see. 

Haruka ordered a pop corn, which he shared with Etsuko, leaning close to him while they watched the movie. He could feel Makoto watching him more then the movie, but didn't complain, only let a small smile touch the corners of his mouth.  
After a while he put his hand on Makoto's leg, feeling his boyfriend startle slightly. Then a warmth cover his hand, glancing down at their joined fingers which he could only just see in the dark theater.  
Haruka's heart fluttered happily, returning his attention to the movie with difficulty.  
When they left the theater, the evening had turned cool.  
“Stay at my place again...” Haruka whispered to Makoto.  
His boyfriend glanced at him, “Only if you want me to...then maybe we could all take the trip to pick up Emi?”  
“Yes. I want you to stay." Haruka smiled, "I'd also love to go with you to pick up Emi.”  
Makoto slipped his arm around his waist, familiarity settling around them, Haruka holding Etsuko's hand as they walked to his apartment, which for once in the years of living there; finely felt like home. 


	16. Train

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bunch of chapter all made up before posting, I had 40,000 words or something like that and now I getting to the point where I'm gonna have to update chapter by chapter.

**“A** _ll ready?”_ Haruka asked Etsuko, who was finishing breakfast at the table. The small boy looked around at him and nodded, Haruka smiled, licking the pad of his thumb he leaned forward and wiped jelly from the corner of his mouth. Etsuko scrunched his nose.  
“Now, I'd say you're ready.” Haruka teased gently, wiping his thumb on a napkin and tossing the paper in the trash. Haruka grabbed a dish towel off the counter and ran it under some warm water.  
Then he returned to the young boy at the dinning room table.  
“Look up.” Haruka told him.  
Titling up his chin, Etsuko let him gently wipe his face with the damp fabric; ridding him of the stickiness framing him mouth.  
Making sure he didn't miss anything, before smiling and ruffling Etsuko's dark brown hair.  
“There, all clean and looking very handsome.” Haruka commented, dropping the towel on the table and leaning to close the jam jar.  
“Haru?” Etsuko asked.  
Haruka turned to him, a small hand was rubbing the back of his head, tugging nervously on short strands.  
_He's so much the picture of his father..._ Haruka thought, while wiping his hand on the towel, before setting it down once more. Smiling, when he felt the fondness flutter into his heart.  
Before his eyes, without question, _I'm becoming a parent..._ Haruka decided, he liked the feeling, even if Etsuko wasn't his by blood he loved the boy, possibly even more so.  
Haruka leaned down so he could face the boy properly, crouching in front of him and tilting his head up.  
“What's wrong Etsuko?” Haruka asked, brushing his dark bangs out of his eyes and gently touching the back of his hand over the boys forehead.  
Etsuko didn't object to the contact, “I'm fine, no need to worry.”  
After a moments thought, Haruka deiced that in the future, he'd never listen to such a response from any of his boys.  
_They try taking to much on themselves, not letting anyone see when they're in pain._  
“Etsuko, you don't have a fever, but something is honestly bothering you.” Haruka reasoned, maybe not the best thing to do with a seven year old, but he knew that Etsuko's a smart boy. “Can't you tell me? Or should I get your father?”  
Shaking his head, Etsuko took a fistful of Haruka's t-shirt.  
“I was wondering...at school, everyone talks about their mothers...” Etsuko whispered, his green eyes flicking down to watch his hand clutching the blue fabric instead.  
“Go on, I'm listening.” Haruka assured the boy.  
“I've only ever known dad, he does all the things everyone talks about; and when they....the other kids notice I'm there they get really quiet.” Etsuko takes a breath, while Haruka shifts, leaning towards him and letting his hand slip from his hair to wrap comfortingly around him.  
“I know about Mother, I see her picture and all of that; Haru...what should I call you from now on? Because calling you mother doesn't seem right; and I already have daddy...”  
Haruka could feel affection washing over him with every word, he had to take a deep breath; Haruka had really only grown up with one parent he thinks.  
Now, he has so many people around him that care; it should feel claustrophobic.  
“Etsuko.” Haruka said, the boy looked up at his name, a shy smile trying to shine though his nervousness.  
“You can call me anything you want. I won't be hurt if you don't call me Dad...Haru is my name and if you want to say that, then it's fine.  
But if you really want to call me something more, that tells everyone around you how you feel about me; then decide for yourself.”  
Etsuko thought for a moment, Haruka let the boy take in everything he had said.  
“Um. I'll call you Haru then, but I might call you Dad too...is that okay?” Etsuko asked.  
“Yes, sweetheart; that's more then okay.” Haruka nods.  
Etsuko really smiles now, with all the light he's inherited from his father. Leaning forward he wraps small arms around Haruka's neck.  
Haruka hugs him close, smiling to himself. “I love you too.” he whispers.  
He can feel small arms tighten around him, as Etsuko buries his face into the crook of his neck.  
“Um. Haru should eat something.” Etsuko then says, pulling away somewhat, “I've hardly seen you eat anything and the train ride is gonna be long.”  
Haruka chuckled, “Alright, I will.” 

 

Makoto joined them as Haruka bite into a piece of toast, pulling a hoodie over his t-shirt and sighing thoughtfully.  
“Alright,” he patted the pockets of his jeans, checking he had his phone and wallet. “I think I have everything.”  
Makoto nodded his head then looked up, smiling gently at his boyfriend.  
Smiling around the toast, Haruka wondered how much of the conversation he had heard from the bedroom.  
Finishing the tidbit he licked his fingers of crumbs, and tilted his head considering his boyfriend for a moment.  
Makoto tilted his head as well, a light chuckle rumbling up from his chest.  
Scooting passed all the empty chairs at the table, Haruka walked over to him.  
Placing a hand over Makoto's heart, before leaning up on his toes for a kiss. He felt Makoto smile into it, parting his lips slightly inviting Haruka closer.  
“Okay, I'll just grab my jacket and we can go.” Haruka said, tilting his head back, looking at his partner with twitching lips. Makoto's hands which had slipped to his hips, griped gently,  
“You slept a lot better last night.” Makoto commented.  
Haruka nodded, “If I dreamed I don't remember it...” he pulled away from his boyfriend slowly, Makoto followed him down the hall and into the bedroom. Calling behind him, “Etsuko, find your coat please and wait on the couch.”  
“Okay, daddy.” the boy slipped from his chair and went to the couch, where Chika was sleeping on his coat.  
Haruka noticed his boyfriend sit on the edge of the bed, he pulled on one of Makoto's hoodies, it draping over his smaller frame.  
“Um.. I don't mean to pry...but what was different about the dream...when you showed up at the station...?” Makoto asked him quietly.  
Haruka, at the time, had been very grateful to him for not questioning his reasons, he hadn't even known it was a dream at the time. Makoto just naturally accepted his need for closeness.  
“You where in it.” Haruka told him, moving to sit on the bed next to him. “I've had dreams of you before...but this was the first one where I actually felt like you died, been swept away from me...”  
Haruka rested his head on Makoto's shoulder gently. Makoto took a deep breath, “That explains it, when you saw me at the station...the look on your face, so much relief.”  
Haruka hummed and Makoto gently places a hand over his partners right knee.  
“Well, it wasn't real. I'm here.”  
Haruka nuzzled closer, “Makoto...” he whispered lovingly, he could tell his boyfriend was smiling, even without looking up at his face. The thought had him smiling into Makoto's shoulder.  
“You had other dreams, of me that weren't scary?” Makoto asked.  
“Mmm,” Haruka mumbled, bitting his lip. “Yeah. It was rather intense though...”  
“I see,” Makoto's voice drifted, “Well, I haven't had an intense dream in...ages I think...”  
Haruka looked up at him, shifting so he no longer leaned on his boyfriend.  
“When was the last time you had intense anything..?” Haruka asked, after the words left his lips he wishes he had said it differently.  
Makoto rubbed the back of his neck, “Well, it's been awhile too...”  
“Sorry..” Haruka said, knowing he had made Makoto uncomfortable. Makoto scooted, pressing their knees together, shaking his head as he did,  
“It's fine, we're a couple now, these are the things we'll talk about.” Makoto slipped his hand up Haruka's back, “Beside, I was the one who snooped into your dream, you where just being honest.”  
Haruka smiled and rested happily in Makoto's embrace, “I love you.”  
“I love you too, Haruka.” Makoto told him, leaning their foreheads together.

The three of them headed for the train station together, the sun beating down on them, as the day turned out to be rather warm. Still the perfect weather for light jackets, Haruka ran his hand over his borrowed hoodie, causing him to glance at his boyfriend.  
Makoto rubbed at the back of his neck and looked around, a smile spreading across his face. Dropping his hand, he pressed closer as they walked, close together, Makoto ghosted his hand up Haruka's back lovingly.  
Haruka's heart fluttered, making him smile, as Makoto rubbed circles into his shoulder blades. Etsuko ran ahead of them a bit, before turning and walking backwards.  
“Haru's place is so much fun!” Etsuko exclaimed, “we aren't aloud pets at home...”  
He stopped so they could slowly catch up to him, reaching up for Haruka's left hand when they do. Haruka took his hand into his own, gently squeezing small fingers.  
“How long have you had Chika, Haru-chan?” Etsuko asked, tilting his head up. Haruka glanced down at the boy, “About, a year and a half.” he told him, “She was living under the dumpster behind the place I work.”  
“I'm glad you saved her.” Etsuko said brightly, “She loves you.”  
“Honesty, I think she saved me.” Haruka admitted. “Chika keeps me company and really I think she views me as her baby.”  
Etsuko looks up at him, “Were you lonely Haru...?”  
Haruka glances from the small boy, to his father; who's grip on his back has tightened slightly.  
“I never really thought about it,” Haruka said, smiling reassuringly at Makoto, “I suppose I was.”  
Haruka slips his right arm around Makoto's waist, holding him gently.  
“No need to feel lonely anymore.” Haruka says, as they continue to gain progress in their walk to the train station.  
The chilly breeze around them shaking the trees lining the sidewalk, making leaves dance in swooping arcs.  
Haruka barley notices, he smiles lovingly at Makoto whose watching him with kind eyes.  
“I can hear the train!” Etsuko's cheerfully calls, pulls gently on the hand holding Haruka's, attempting to make him go faster.  
The small boys excitement spilling over at the prospect of seeing his brother, after being apart for so long.  
Gripping the boys hand he slips away from Makoto and says, “Alright, just be careful.”  
Haruka steadily runs at Etsuko's pace, hearing Makoto chuckle before they leave him behind.  
Makoto joins them on the platform at a much slower stride, the train has just pulled into place when he reaches them.  
Haruka carefully helps Etsuko step onto the train and they find a place to sit together. The young boy watching adamantly, as other people joined them.  
_“Welcome, and thank you for your patronage.”_ was said over the speaker, _“We are arriving on schedule and we hope you have a safe journey.”_  
Makoto leaned over to ask his son, “How many stops, do you remember?”  
“Five! We have to get out of the city and towards the water!” Etsuko exclaimed, turning in his seat to look out the window.  
“Very good," Makoto nodded, "we can point out landmarks along the way.”  
_“The doors will now be closing, please stand back for your safety.”_  
Haruka smiled and turned his head to look out the window, he felt Makoto slip his hand into his, lacing their fingers together.  
Haruka squeezed his fingers gently, as the train lurched forward and then started picking up speed.  
The train was rather full, mostly with collage students and business workers.  
Etsuko forwent his seat after awhile, sliding into Haruka's lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. Letting the very pregnant, young woman take the seat next to Haruka instead.  
“That's very kind of you young man.” she said with a smile, relaxing as much as she can on the hard bench.  
“noproblemma'am.” Etsuko mumbled into Haruka's neck, shyly.  
Haruka smiled and wrapped his arm around the boy, soothing his hand over Etsuko's small back.  
After a moment she said, “Your son looks a lot like you.”  
Haruka tightened his grip on Makoto's hand, “Thank you...”  
He felt Makoto shift next to him, knowing that his boyfriend was rubbing at the back of his neck with his other hand.  
“If I may, when is your dew date?” Haruka then asked, dancing around the slightly embarrassing conversation.  
“Any day now,” the woman smiled, pushing dark hair back behind her ear. “I'm on my way to stay with my mother until the baby comes.”  
She soothed her hand over her round belly fondly, “Are you visiting family as well?”  
Haruka nodded as best he could with Etsuko wrapped around him, “Yes. We're picking up our other son from his stay with his grandparents.”  
“How wonderful.” she said, looking thrilled to have a seat as well as someone to talk to, “small town?”  
Etsuko nodded for Haruka this time, “Last stop.”  
The woman thought for a moment, “Ohh, iwatobi; that is far from the city.”  
Haruka was taken aback, over his and Makoto's idle conversations, the name of their home towns hadn't come up.  
Haruka did know though, that Makoto's parents never moved after he left home with Kotone. They stilled lived in the same house, the one Makoto grew up in with his siblings.  
Makoto was still silent next to him, Haruka couldn't look at him from this angle. The train kept on its rattling journey as the woman then said, “I can remember going there once as a child; the beaches are wonderful.”  
“The water is so blue!” Etsuko put in, still clutching tightly to Haruka but seeming comfortable. “To bad we won't have time to see it today.”  
Makoto chuckled, “Maybe next time sweetheart; I'm sure your brother is very keen to be home again.”  
“Yeah, maybe we can make a plan of it and all of us go; dad too!” Etsuko said, leaning back to smile at Haruka.  
“Sounds like fun,” Haruka said, “you know, how I love to swim.”  
“Yeah, you're like a fish outta water.” Etsuko says, “That's what daddy is always telling me.”  
Haruka smiled and glanced out the window, “I bet it hasn't changed much, but the water will be older now.”  
Makoto leaned closer to him, using the person next to him as an excuse.  
“I haven't been to iwatobi; in sixteen years.” Haruka commented.  
“I'd say, it's defiantly time to return home.” The lady smiled once more.  
_Home._ Haruka thought.


	17. Family

**M** _akoto was_ nice enough to help the lady off the train when it slowed down to her stop, she thanked him gently and waved at all of them before waddling towards her parents.  
The train barely had anyone on it now, with a fleeting hug around Haruka, the small boy slipped back into his seat next to him instead.  
Etsuko swung his short legs, as he watched the few people around them.   
_“Next stop, iwatobi station; iwatobi station next stop.”_  
“Your home town and mine are the same?” Makoto asked, his body language leaning towards his boyfriend.   
“Yes.” Haruka managed a small smile.  
“How?” Makoto asked, “in such a small town why didn't we ever find each other sooner...”   
“I don't know, seems really odd doesn't it.” Haruka said.   
Makoto thread their fingers together once more.  
“At least now we won't have to debate on where to go, when we want to get away from the city.” Makoto teased. “I'll probably have a hard time pulling you away from home; once you're in the water.”   
Haruka bit his lip, “You might have trouble getting me out of the water, but home; that's only where you are.”   
He watched Makoto's surprised expression for a moment, before it melted gently.   
Makoto's eyes glittered, “I really want to kiss you right now...”   
Haruka tilted his chin up, “Go on then.”   
Makoto briefly bit his bottom lip, before leaning forward and placing a light kiss over Haruka's lips. Haruka pressed into him slightly, lips parting momentarily before slowly pulling way.   
Smiling Haruka leaned his shoulder into his boyfriend, soothing his thumb gently over the back of his hand.  
Haruka couldn't help thinking of the good part in his dream, waking up to Makoto wrapped around him.   
His heart flipped a little, which had nothing to do with the swaying motion of the train. Haruka drifted with the thought, because it was better then dwelling on the part of the dream that still filled him with dread.  
The very thought of losing Makoto, not long after meeting him; Haruka had deiced he wouldn't be able to handle it.   
Not after everything else he's already been though, Makoto feels like the very glue holding him together.   
Once they had settled things between them, Haruka images that Makoto slowly filled the spiderweb cracks in his heart that had happened over the years.   
Makoto only needed a few days, over something that has pulled at Haruka's feeble emotions for what seems like a whole life time.   
Makoto doesn't disturb his solitude, only grips his hand and hums gently; most of the sound droned out by the clack of the train.   
The train ride was spent in companionable silents, mostly, Etsuko would bring their attention out the window occasionally as his excitement grew the closer they got to their destination.  
When the train screeched to a halt once more, the doors opened and Haruka took a breath; a deep inhale that almost left him lightheaded.   
Haruka can taste the salt in the air around him, as they step off the train and onto the platform, Etsuko already spotting his family and running toward them to be embraced by his brother.   
Makoto lead Haruka towards them, minding the other people as he went.  
Haruka was still dazed, he could breath again; having been living in the city for so long he hadn't even thought about it.   
He had missed the water, but now that he's here again; we wonders why he ever left.  
Haruka can only remember his time here, living with his grandmother, dancing with his father in the rain.   
Even trudging though school and how he felt when Rin moved away.   
“Mom, dad.” Makoto greeted his parents, leaning forward to hug them each in turn.   
“Makoto!” was exclaimed lovingly.   
He smiled and stepped back, letting his son take turns hugging them as well; leaning down to envelop Emi in his strong hold.   
The young boy looked a lot like his twin, though he is ever slightly taller and wearing thin frames over his green eyes.  
Haruka has seen similar glasses on Makoto's nightstand, but never had the pleasure of seeing him wear them.   
Emi released his father with a smile, pulling at the hem of his t-shirt witch was a little small on him; his shoulders taking up a lot of the fabric.  
“We bought new cloths,” Makoto chuckles, “I think you've grown two centimeters sense I last saw you.”   
“They take after their father that way,” His mother commented, love shining as she looked her son over.  
Haruka watched, a smile touching his own face, when Makoto looks at him.   
Makoto slips closer, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer.   
“Everyone,” Makoto said, his eyes scanning over his family as he brings Haruka to their attention, “I'd like you to meet my lovely boyfriend, Nanase Haruka”  
Haruka smiled, despite the slight embarrassment, slipping an arm around Makoto's waist as well, leaning into him comfortably.  
Haruka can't be sure if he's imagined it or not, but Makoto's parents seem to hold their breath.   
“What a surprise!” the man, who looked like a graying version of Makoto managed to say, “Mako, you never told us you where dating anyone.”   
Makoto rubbed at his neck, “Yeah. We'll only recently met and all, I didn't get a chance; Etsuko told Emi all about Haruka though.”   
“I felt you might want to tell Granny and Granddad yourself, so I didn't mention it.” Emi admitted. Etsuko pulled on his brother a little, “Come on, meet dad.” his older brother allowed himself to be dragged over to Haruka.   
Haruka smiled and pulled away from Makoto to lean down in front of the two boys.   
“Nice to meet you-” Emi seemed to think about it for a moment, “Haru.”   
“Same, Emi.” Haruka said.   
The boy smiled, glancing at his father before stepping forward.   
Haruka accepted Emi into his arms with a fluttering laugh, Etsuko cheerfully joined the cuddle as well.  
Mrs. Tachibana stepped forward, “Emi, why don't you take your brother over to the vending machine, get yourselves something for the train ride home.”   
Haruka stood once more, ruffling each boys hair in turn, before they walked away arm and arm.   
She smiled watching them before looking once more at them, Haruka couldn't tell what she was thinking, but something about her eyes where sad as she looked at him.   
“Haruka...may I call you that?” she asked, a slight tremble to her voice that had Mr. Tachibana place a gentle hand on her lower back.   
“Sure. Mrs Tachibana.” Haruka nodded, his name being said by her felt right.   
“Mom.” she corrected gently, holding out her arms as she said it.   
Tentatively, Haruka stepped forward, wrapping his arms carefully around her.   
She squeezed him, rocking slightly and a hand running over his hair.   
“Thank you.” Haruka whispers to her, “I was honestly nervous, how you would react to me.”  
“Oh, Haruka.” Mrs Tachicana says, “I'd never turn you away. Welcome home son.”   
They parted, the older couple smiling at them when Haruka joined Makoto once more.   
Makoto had mostly been keeping an eye on his boys, from where they stood, but glanced fleeting back at Haruka when he smiled at him.   
The twins returned, carrying snacks and chatting about the shells Emi had collected.   
“I can show you them when we get to grandpas, I'm sure he'll like them too.” Emi was saying, holding his brothers hand with his free one.  
“Grandpa says he's making your favorite for dinner tonight; he's missed you as much as I have I think.” Etsuko told him, smiling at Haruka when they where close enough.   
The small boy rushed up to him and held up his arms, Haruka naturally bending slightly to lift him up placing him on his hip.   
“You spoil him” Makoto said, his own hand slipping into Emi's hair, the fondness evident in this tone.   
“That's my job.” Haruka says, a little smirk on his face.  
“mmm.” Makoto mumbled, not denying the fact. “Well, grandpa will be waiting for you boys.”   
Makoto smiled and looked at his parent once more, “Thanks, for taking such good care of him.”  
“You're welcome, just make sure not to be away for to long; we miss you terribly.” Mr. Tachibana said. 

After fleeting hugs and love all around, they manage to get the boys together with Emi bags and onto their train back to the city.   
Etsuko waved for a long time as the train pulled away, watching from the window as the platform got smaller.  
Haruka sighed out, leaning back into Makoto, who had his arm slung over his shoulders.  
“I'm going to tell you now,” Haruka whispered, a little sadly, “my parents are not going to greet us the same way; my dad will give me every blessing; but my mom...there is a storm ahead for us.”  
Makoto squeezed him, trying his best to comfort, “I'll brave it, with you this time.”   
“hmm” Haruka said, “hopefully, we'll be enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so busy this week, I'm sorry this took me so long; I will try to post another chapter soon!


	18. Until You

**“A** hhh, my boys return!” Tamaki greets them, along with the ring of the bell as they push though the door.  
“Grandpa!” Emi exclaims, rushing towards him and hugging around the older mans legs, “You'll never believe the shells I found.”   
Tamaki brushes his hand though the boys hair and smiles.  
“I'm sure I won't, you'll have to show them to me.”   
Emi nodded excitedly, Makoto slinging his sons bag off his shoulder and said, “Why don't you go ahead and unpack up stairs.”  
His son nodded, taking his bag.  
“I'll help!” Etsuko announced, helping his brother up the stairs.   
“Thank you, for bring them,” Tamaki says to Makoto, “I do enjoy their rambunctiousness, puts live back into this old place.”   
“No problem, it's a big help, really.” Makoto replied, running a hand though his hair before dropping it and taking Haruka's in his.   
“Sure you won't both stay for dinner?” Tamaki asked.  
Makoto smiles, “No thanks. I really owe Haruka dinner.”   
Haruka smiled gently, he hadn't expected for Makoto to take him out; in fact he was resigning himself to going home alone once more.   
“I'd like that.” Haruka admits, his other hand gripping gently onto their joined fingers.  
Makoto nodded, “I'll be back to pick the boys up in a couple days.”   
“Take your time, I'm sure we'll have plenty of mischief to get into.” Tamaki assures, waving them off with a twinkle to his aging eyes.

 **T** hey leave the book shop together, despite the wonderful smell of Tamaki's cooking drifting from the second floor.   
Walking hand and hand, the two of them stroll to the little place they ate when they had been shopping.  
It was a lot fuller now, couples sitting together and chatting, kids giggling and adults trying to keep them entertained quietly.   
“Table for two?” the waitress asked, when they looked around.  
“Yes, please.” Makoto said.   
Haruka continued to watch the noise around him, wondering if maybe they should have just went home. He selfishly wanted Makoto to himself, for a little while.   
Haruka sat down anyway, smiling gently when Makoto pulled the seat out for him.   
“I know it's a bit crowed, but at least we can go home after words.” Makoto told him, talking the seat across from him and glancing at the menu.  
Haruka felt his heart beat pick up a little, “You'll go home, with me again?”   
Makoto looked up at this question, “Oh...honestly, I just thought of your place...didn't even occur to me of going to my apartment. Sorry.”   
Haruka shook his head, “Don't be...I don't want to be alone anyway.”  
Makoto nodded, a slight color dusting over his cheeks.   
“I guess, I've just gotten used to being with you all the time, we haven't been apart much the last few days.” He muttered, glancing at the table.  
“We don't have to be apart at all, if we don't want to.” Haruka whispered, glancing at his own menu.   
He felt Makoto long leg shift under the table, casually pressing next to his own.   
Haruka smiled, resting his hand on Makoto's knee in the small space.  
“What can I get you?” The waitress breezed, looking very over worked.   
“Water, please.” Haruka said. “And the house special, fries instead of chips.”   
She jotted this down with lightning speed, considering her shiny fake nails.   
“Same.” Makoto told her, not wishing to make her ordeal any worse.   
The waitress nodded and was gone once more into the crowd.   
Makoto smiled, “Sorry, it took so long for a first date.”   
Haruka shook his head, “Stop apologizing.”  
“Sorry.” Makoto mumbled, running a hand though his hair.  
“The next time you do that, you have to give me a kiss.” Haruka told him.  
Makoto leaned closer, “If you think that'll stop me, you're completely wrong.”   
“Even in this crowd?” Haruka teased, feeling lighthearted in a way he never has.   
“I kissed you on the train, didn't I?” Makoto asked.  
Haruka soothed his thumb over Makoto's knee, under the table.  
“You did.” Haruka admitted, warmth seeping around him gently; that had nothing to do with the crowed diner.   
Smiling, Haruka leaned back in his chair once more.   
“Going back to work will be interesting, seeing as you answered the phone yesterday, my boss is gonna want all the details.” Haruka said, his thumb still sweeping gently over Makoto's knee.  
Makoto chuckled, “Well, at least we can still have our lunch breaks together.”   
“I don't know, might get an audience.” Haruka mumbled.  
“I don't doubt it.” Makoto agrees, “but it will die down.”  
“My family didn't over do it..." Makoto asked, "did they?”   
“Not at all." Haruka assured him. "They made me feel very welcome.”  
“Hmm.” Makoto hummed, “I felt like they where acting a bit weired; mom almost looked like she was gonna start crying.”   
“Maybe...” Haruka started, “she's just very happy that you're with someone.”  
“Could be...” Makoto said, “wouldn't surprise me, not that she would push me into anything either; maybe that fact just makes these last seven years worse. Seeing me hurt but not wanting to push.”  
Makoto's hand slipped under the table, resting it over Haruka's.  
“I'm very happy, if I don't let on enough.” Makoto said.   
“I can tell, every time you look at me.” Haruka says, “and it reminds me of my own happiness.”   
Makoto smiles, “I don't think there is any turning back now.”   
“We're stuck together.” Haruka agrees, with a smirk.  
“Here we are boys,” the waitress say, banishing a round tray. “Two waters and two house specials, fries not chips.”   
“Thank you.” Makoto told her, then ducked as she rushed away almost braining him with the tray.   
Makoto reluctantly took his hand back, so he could eat his meal. Haruka smiled, leaving his right hand on his boyfriends knee, skillfully eating his own dinner with his left hand. 

 

Haruka smiled at him when they entered his apartment, “Go ahead and relax, I'll wash the dishes from this morning.”  
“I could-” Makoto started.  
“Oh no, you don't,” Haruka interrupted, “I'll wash them.”   
Makoto pouted falsely.   
“'kay.” he relented, leaning in for a soft kiss.  
Haruka smirked and went into the kitchen.   
Makoto drifted into the living room, snooping though the few books and dvd's his boyfriend owned on a big book shelve.   
Makoto picked up a swimming guide, thumbing though the dogeared pages. Smiling to himself and titling to peer at Haruka in the kitchen, where he could only see his slim form; his shoulder blades defined even in the large hoodie. He had rolled up the sleeves and the clanking of dishes could be heard as he washed them.  
Makoto set the book quietly on the shelve once more, his mind settling on the fact that he really wanted to walk up behind his boyfriend and wrap his arms around his waist.   
He had also deiced to actually go though with it, when there was a tap on the door. Haruka didn't seem to hear it over the sound of running water.   
Makoto waited for a heartbeat, when another tap resonated on the door, he sighed and went to answer it for his boyfriend.  
Crossing to it, Makoto opened the door, a lady maybe ten years older then him stood there; a fluffy orange tabby cat in her arms.   
“Hello,” she greeted him, “you must be Makoto.”   
Makoto ran a hand to the back of his neck, nodding.  
“I don't mean to be rude, it's just Nanase-san always calls you that.” she added.   
“It's fine, um...Haruka is washing the dishes right know but I can-” Makoto started.  
“That's aright, I'm just dropping of Mi here, Nanase-san is nice enough to watch him for me sometimes.” she held out the orange cat for him to take.   
Makoto gentle scooped him up, he could tell that the cat was older by the gray dusting his muzzle.   
“Okay, I'm sure he'll be well looked after.” Makoto said, keeping a good hold on the floppy cat; who didn't seem to care he was being held.   
“I know he will.” she smiled, “and if you don't mind my saying, I'm glad to see Nanase-san looking so happy; he even changed his emergency contact.”   
This was news to the young man, “Really?”  
“Well, yes. I thought you knew, seeing as you're the one he changed it to.” she said, a smile showing off her laugh lines. “Well, good-night.” she added airily, turning to leave.  
“Um...” Makoto tried.  
“Yes?” she stopped.  
“Who was the contact before?” Makoto asked.  
“Oh, his father, but Nanase-san always planned on changing it because his father is away so often.” she thoughtfully pulled on a long strand of her graying hair, “I guess he didn't have anyone, until you came along.”  
Makoto's heart was beating like wild, he took a deep breath and thanked her.   
Once he couldn't see her any more, he shut the door with a snap, making sure to lock it.   
Then he carried the orange cat to the kitchen.  
“Who was that?” Haruka asked, without looking around.   
“Um... a lady with a cat.” Makoto replied.  
Setting the cat down by Chika's water and food bowl, the calico jumped from the dinning room table to greet her friend, purring loudly and licking at his forehead with gentle laps.  
“Oh, I almost forgot I was pet sitting.” Haruka said, glancing at the tabby, while he closed his eyes and let Chika groom him.   
Haruka went back to his work; which was close to being done.  
Makoto smiled, taking a few steps closer and settling a hand on Haruka's back, resting gently between his shoulder blades. Haruka halted his task, leaning back into him, so in turn Makoto pressed forward and slipped his arms around Haruka from behind, wrapping snugly around his boyfriends waist.

“Hi” he whispered, with a teasing smile.

“Hey.” Haruka replied, a chuckle on his lips.“I'm almost done.” 

“'Alright... I didn't want to go to bed without you.” Makoto said, pressing his face against Haruka's shoulder. Breathing in deeply, taking in the smell of flowery shampoo. “Um..Haruka..?” 

“Makoto...?” Haruka asked, tilting his head back towards the other, hands still resting wrist deep in the soapy dishwater. 

“You changed your emergency contact to me....” Makoto whispered. 

“Mmm, yeah...I did that the day you gave me your phone number.” Haruka nodded, a slight twitch to the corner of his mouth. Makoto hummed and nuzzled into him lovingly.

“it made me very happy...” Makoto admited.

“I wouldn't have it any other way.” Haruka replied.

“Still though, you have Rin; haven't you known each other forever? Or even Aoi.” Makoto asked.

“Aoi is out of town too often, just like dad. And as for Rin, he told me not to because as a cop it's his job to be there no matter what.” Haruka says. 

Another hum, this one comes with a kiss to the crook of Haruka's neck, “Thank you, it gives me peace of mind, knowing that I'll get the first call.”

“Let me finish this, then we can go to bed.” he murmurs, attempting to wash a plate as he does.   
Makoto tightens his grip a little, pressing a gentle kiss to Haruka's neck. 

“I'll wait for you.” Makoto assures, lips still close to his skin, he can feel the quickening of his boyfriends heart along with a hitch in his breathing. 

“Are...you sure?” Haruka questioned, leaning back into him heavily.

Makoto brushed lingering kisses over the exposed part of his neck, “Very, sure.”

“I'm glad you're staying.” Haruka told him, his eyes turning back to his hands as he fished around for the last straggling plats. 

“Me too.” Makoto mumbled, admitting, “I'm comfortable here, with you.” 

“Good.” Haruka said, “you're always welcome.” 

Makoto smiles, leaning further into his boyfriend shoulder, humming contentment into his warm skin.   
He can hear Haruka's own smile, other then seeing it, something about the change in his breathing had Makoto knowing that his boyfriends lips where twitched up.   
Makoto can feel fondness fluttering in his heart, resuming light kisses across the exposed part of Haruka's neck.   
Haruka rinses the last plat, pulling the plug and letting the soapy water drain. He attempts to swivel in his hold.

“I need to dry my hands.” Haruka told him.  
Makoto sighed, ruffling the hair on his nape of Haruka's neck, Makoto nodded, releasing him.   
Letting Haruka skirt around him, to the towel hanging off the stove rail.   
Wiping his hands on the towel, Haruka tilted his head toward him.   
Makoto hadn't moved from where Haruka left him, by the empty sink.   
Dropping the cloth, Haruka turns back to him and smiles, opening his arms again. Makoto chuckled, slipping back into his embrace, without question.   
Haruka hummed, tilting his head up and resting his hands on his boyfriends waist squeezing lightly.   
“Haruka...” Makoto whispers, leaning towards him.  
They meet slowly, lips chaste. Haruka parted his lips slightly first, curving into a smile.   
Makoto took a hold of his cheeks on either side of face, pressing closer to Haruka, encouraged into opening his mouth as well.  
His tongue poking out tentatively between his lips.  
Haruka pushed forward, stepping up on his toes to meet some of his height.   
“hummm” Haruka clung to his waist, trying to keep his balance as Makoto slipped warmly into his mouth.   
Makoto felt breathless, but dived into Haruka's mouth with a grown, slipping over his tongue then sucking on his boyfriends upper lip lightly.   
Haruka pressed their hips together and huffed into the kiss, following after his tongue.  
Makoto traced the pattern on the roof of Haruka's mouth, before panting openly and pulling away.  
Makoto's hands slipped down to his boyfriends shoulders and under his arms, clinging to the back of his hoddie.  
He nuzzled his face into Haruka's neck, breathing heavily as he placed light kisses once more to the skin there.  
 _Haruka..._ Makoto thinks, feeling his partners gentle tug on his shirt.


	19. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, almost 4,000 words of smut-enjoy.

**T** _hey walk_ through the doorway together, tightly holding each others hand, but the two of them stopped shortly to stand in the center of the bedroom. The bed was still neatly made from the morning, but instead of cuddling down in it, Makoto turned to Haruka instead, who offered a smile as Makoto's other hand finds it's way to his neck.

“Have you ever made love, to a man before?” Haruka asks, thumb drifting over Makoto's knuckles in an attempt to sooth his boyfriend. 

“Yeah. My boyfriend from high school...he bottomed though...” Makoto said, glancing down at their joined fingers. “I was kinda hopping, that maybe I could try...” 

Haruka stepped a little closer to him, making his boyfriend look at him once more,  
“Would you...like to try being bottom?” Haruka asked lowly, eyes detailing Makoto's face, color tinting in his cheeks.  
“Yeah. I think I would.” Makoto nodded, looking a little more confidant.  
Haruka nodded, a smile twitching at his lips as he zipped down his hoodie, the one much to big for his slender frame, it reminded him of who's jacket it really was.  
His eyes drifted over Makoto's broad shoulders, which had a light slump to them. Makoto has 'tall mans slouch', showing off his personable nature.  
They had to release each others hands, reluctantly, to take the material off.  
Haruka let the borrowed hoodie slip way, falling to the floor with a muffled sound on the rug. Watching as Makoto drops his own jacket, biting his lip slightly as he does.  
Haruka holds up his hand, Makoto smiles, joining their fingers together once more, using it to pull them closer, his other hand meeting Haruka's waist.  
Haruka tilts his head up, inviting Makoto to lean forward and kiss him. His hand clutching Makoto's side, fingers mapping out the muscles under his boyfriends t-shirt.  
Haruka meets Makoto half way, standing on his toes, once Makoto leans into his personal space. Haruka hums, contented when their lips brush, Makoto gently pressing into him.  
Haruka relaxes, following Makoto's lead, drinking up his noises and parting his lips for his boyfriend.  
Makoto's tongue slips into his open mouth, grazing his own and then stroking in short laps, leaving him breathless.  
Makoto details, running his tongue, tracing the pattern over the roof of his mouth. Haruka pants, his grip on Makoto tightening, one hand trailing down to tug on the hem of Makoto's shirt.  
Makoto shifts, giving Haruka room, lifting his arms above his head, so that Haruka can slowly pull it up. Haruka yanks the shirt away from Makoto, smiling when brown hair falls messily over his eyes. Tossing the shirt away, Haruka laughs, wrapping his arms around Makoto's neck. Makoto smiles, his own arms slipping around Haruka's waist pulling him close again.  
They kiss, lingering on stroking tongues and hot breaths, Haruka's hands feeling Makoto's neck on either side. Then, sliding them down to feel his shoulders, rubbing them gently.  
Makoto groans, his kisses trailing from his mouth down his throat as Haurka tips his head back to give him more access.  
Backing off slightly, though it was hard to pull away from the warm flesh, Haruka lifted his arms over his head. Makoto seemed to take the hint, pulling off his boyfriends shirt and tossing it to the floor.  
When it was no longer in the way, Haruka breathed out contently. He felt Makoto's hands on his chest, slipping down to his naval and around on either side of his hips. The tall man leaned forward and kissed his shoulder. Mouthing his way over Haruka's exposed chest.  
He shivered pleasantly, his hand slipping around Makoto's form and grasping his hair with firm and steady hands. Preventing him from pulling away, though Haruka knew it wasn't likely he would try at the present moment. He just needed to keep Makoto as close as possible.  
Haruka can feel Makoto's hands popping the button on his jeans, hear as the zipper slid down slowly. The dark haired man held Makoto's head closer to his chest, ghosting breaths over his sensitive stomach making him tremble.  
Hooking his thumbs, Makoto pulled down both Haruka's jeans and his underwear, not wasting anytime. Haruka is quick to kick the clothing away, once Makoto has let them slip to his ankles, stumbling a little and Makoto following after him like they where stuck together.  
Once they had regained their balance, Makoto glanced up though his lashes, pressing a simple kiss to Haruka's navel. Haruka smiled and encouraged him upward, when their lips meet Haruka's hands slipped down hurriedly. Pulling on the waistband of Makoto's jeans, he felt the taller man smile into their kiss. Haruka parted his lips, for a moment and both of them got lost in feeling.  
Haruka felt his rising arousal brush up against Makoto's jeans, making him inhale sharply.  
Makoto panted slightly, testing his tongue on Haruka's bottom lip gently, tracing it teasingly. Haruka let him, his grip tightening on Makoto's jeans. Makoto flicked into his mouth, Haruka welcoming him warmly.  
“M-mmm.” passed between them, Haruka felt Makoto's hand join his as the tall man sucked loudly on his tongue. Haruka heard him working his belt, while trying to keep attached to him at the same time. Humming approval between them, Haruka felt Makoto shiver.  
He managed to slip his belt out of the loops and drop it with a clang, pulling away now, the taller man brought his right hand to brush his knuckle gently over Haruka's cheek.  
Haruka couldn't help the smile that twitched at his lips, Makoto was looking at him like he was seeing water for the first time.  
Biting his lip, Haruka finished undoing Makto's jeans for him, then did his best to help Makoto struggle out of them. Though, he feels he was more of a hindrance, the two of them enjoyed fumbling.  
Feeling mirth rumble up in his chest, letting it slip from him mouth, his hands clutching at Makoto's hipbones.  
Haruka could hear his partners heart, beating loudly, a laugh tumbling from Makoto's own lips as he smiled, though, maybe it was his own heart he was hearing.  
It didn't matter, the only thing substantial, was the absolutely adoring look Makoto was giving him.  
As they pressed closer, naked skin warm, Makoto's hands cupping his face, while allowing himself to be backed up, towards the edge of the bed.  
Chuckling, Makoto sat down almost pulling his partner with him.  
Haruka felt warm hands slip away, watched Makoto sink into the top blanket. Following, his own hands sliding down to Makoto's thighs.  
Haruka smiled gently, hopping his partner could also see how he was feeling, simply by looking at his face.  
Makoto blinked, in the dusty gray of the room, his hand moving to cover the one holding his right hip.  
Haruka nodded, pulling away from him and leaning towards the headboard shelf, where he pulled open the top draw and brought forth a bottle.  
Makoto is trying not to look away, his eyes fixing on Haruka, when he returns to holding him, taking his hand gently. Placing the bottle on the mattress next to Makoto's thigh.  
“I can prepare you...” Haruka suggested to his nervous partner, feeling similar emotions bubbling up in him.  
“Okay.” Makoto breathed out.  
“Just...relax, whatever is comfortable for you, Makoto.” Haruka told him gently. Makoto nods, his expression thankful, before worrying at his bottom lip.  
He seemed to think for a moment, before moving on to all fours and crawling across the bed, towards the pillows.  
Haruka's eyes following him, watching the muscles in his legs contract with the movement. Then blinking, when Makoto's skin disappeared, up to his waist.  
The tall man had pulled back the blanket, sliding under it, covering his long legs from sight.  
Haruka grabbed the bottle of lube again, pulling at the blanket, so he can join his partner, already feeling their bodies warming the cool sheets under them.  
Green eyes shone up at him, despite his nervousness, Makoto was smiling at him.  
Makoto pulled the blanket closer, once he had settled between his legs. Haruka used his arms to balance himself over Makoto, leaning closer, Makoto met his mouth lightly, breathing out a little bit of relief.  
Haruka felt Makoto relax under him, making him smile gently as he pressed Makoto's lips firmly. Makoto opened his mouth, a chuckle falling into Haruka's mouth.  
Haruka didn't pass up the chance, to slide his tongue, into his partners welcoming warmth. His taste buds dancing with the sensation, Makoto joining in lingering strokes.  
Haruka pulled back, breath falling in heavy pants, above Makoto's open mouth. Caching his own breath, Makoto nods his head.  
He pushed away from the mattress with his arms and sat back on his heels. The movement has the blanket slipping around his hips, Makoto clutched at the blue material, bunching it in his fists.  
Makoto's knees are in the air, his feet planted flat on the mattress, next to his own.  
Haruka glanced down, popping the cap on the lubricant with his thumb. His left hand traveling from Makoto's right hip, following his leg down to his thigh. Nails dragging over the sensitive area, leaving tingle trails that he's sure Makoto can still feel.  
Even as he pulls the hand away, switching the bottle to his left hand, he drizzles clear lubricant onto this first three fingers on his right hand.  
Been awhile since I topped. Haruka thought as he rubbed his thumb over the cool substance.  
_Still keep my nails trimmed though..habit._  
Haruka glances at Makoto, he hasn't moved except for slow in hales and exhales. He mentally praised this, _My first time, I kept holding my breath._  
Makoto smiled, giving Haruka the okay, he looked like he was bracing himself, his green eyes fluttering closed and his hands tightening on the blanket. Haruka could feel the grip on his hips, even though the thick padding.  
Haruka put the bottle aside, his left hand slipping down and wrapping around Makoto's leaking arousal instead. Makoto didn't seem to be expecting this, when Haruka pumped up and dragged his hand down the heavy organ.  
The tall mans eyes snapped open and he moaned loudly, his body lifting, following after the feeling. Haruka feels himself twitch in response, panting Makoto looks at him. A lovely dusting of color to his cheeks had Haruka's heart fluttering.  
Makoto doesn't have the chance to be embarrassed, about his first out burst, because he's whimpering when Haruka runs his thumb over the head of his erection. Haruka has to bite his lip, stopping his own voice joining his lovers. Haruka can feel pre-come slicking his hand, sliding between his long fingers, his right hand ventures down to Makoto's tight hole.  
“Makoto..” Haruka whispers, unsure weather Makoto can even hear him. Haruka presses the first ring of muscle gently, more so then he ever has been when preparing a partner.  
“Haruka..” Makoto replies, his voice breathy. Haruka can feel him tremble, it starts in his thighs and travels up his spine. Taking it in strides, he slowly pushes his finger tip in. Haruka knows, that Makoto can't be much more relaxed then he is at this very moment, having received before he realizes the fluttering emotions.  
The sharpness of penetration, feeling like your heart is going to burst from your chest as air doesn't seem possible anymore.  
Haruka slips deeper into Makoto, the first finger sliding in without much resistance. When his knuckle settles, he let's Makoto adjust. Taking a shaky breath, Makoto pushes back onto his finger, head thrown back on the pillow. Makoto's knuckles must be turning white, that's how tight the grip on the blanket felt around his hips.  
Warmth is settling in his belly as Haruka relaxes into arousal, letting it thrum though his body. Haruka needs to blink, but he doesn't want to look away, even for a moment. Makoto pants warmly under him, looking so lovely, so comfortable in his embrace.  
Makoto's hard cock is warm in his hand, twitching and dribbling pre come. Haruka forces himself to blink, when he opens his eyes again, Makoto is gazing at him. Green eyes are glazed with arousal, his lashes as heavy as his breathing.  
Haruka feels a grown escape his parted lips, he doesn't even try pulling it back. Leaning forward on his knees, giving his heels a rest. Haruka seeks Makoto's mouth, his own arousal pressing to Makoto's thigh.  
Letting Makoto drink up the mewling sounds he makes, forcing himself, with great power of will not to rut himself to completion.  
Haruka's finger is knuckle deep, and he can feel impatience flitting in his heart as Makoto sucks on his tongue. Makoto clenches around his finger and then relaxes. Haruka tests his second finger at Makoto's entrance. His lovers encouragement rumbling into his open mouth, lingering on his tongue.  
When Haruka pushes the finger next to the first he can feel Makoto tensing. Haruka soothes him as best he can, trying to divert Makoto's attention with his lips, and his other hand gently stroking his swollen cock.  
Haruka scissors his fingers in Makoto's warmth, he's hopping he can find that spot. The one that had him coming, the first time a lover pressed it. Haruka takes his hand off Makoto's erection, finding leverage on the mattress by Makoto's trembling hip.  
Makoto makes a noise, one that seems un-pleased by the movement.  
_Not yet._ Haruka thought. _If I do find that spot, I don't want you to come yet..._  
Still kissing Makoto senseless, his tongue tracing the pattern on the roof of Makoto's mouth.  
It takes some thrusting of this fingers and just the right angle, he is lucky more then once, finding the spot, Makoto almost bites down on his tongue.  
Haruka watches in a haze, as Makoto arches under him, pressing the spot again, harder this time. He can guess from experience, that his partner is seeing stars, looking at him from this position, Haruka feels pleasure in the fact that his stimulation drags Makoto close to the edge.  
His erection is dripping, desperate for release on Makoto's heated skin. Groaning lowly, Haruka focuses on keeping Makoto grounded, keeping him there in his arms.  
“Haruuu..” Makoto hisses out, in response to him putting a third finger into the loosening hole. Makoto clenches around him tightly, the muscles pulling his fingers deeper, twitching around his long digits.  
“Makoto..” Haruka moans. _I've never moaned in my life..._  
The heat in his belly is boiling over, making his breath sharply though his nose, gnawing at his lips and letting his eyes close for a moment as he tries to control his thundering heart.  
_I need to be inside him..._  
“Makoto..?” he whispers, blinking his eyes open to peer at his partner in the foggy grayness.  
The question drifting between them, Makoto looks at him, his chest rising and falling fast.  
“...yes, luv?” Makoto manages to ask, tilting his head up with a smile.  
“May I?” Haruka asks, rotating his fingers inside his partner.  
Makoto's eyes roll back, lids closing as he drops the weight of his head back on the pillow.  
“Yess...I want you, Haruka.” Makoto whispers, clenching around the penetrating fingers.  
Haruka pulls his fingers out, leaning over Makoto to reach for the top drawer once more, finding a condom and pulling back.  
Makoto's hands clinging to the blanket around his hips loosen and then grip, watching him silently.  
Haruka smiles to assure him, opening the condom and slowly rolling it over his throbbing length, wincing a little at the contact before fumbling after the abandoned lubricant.  
Squirting some into his palm and tossing the bottle away, hearing it hit the wood floor, at the foot of the bed, with a clatter. Grasping his own cock, hissing sharply at the stronger presser he allowed himself.  
Haruka doesn't bother changing position, sliding back into place he guides his arousal to the pulsing hole. Pushing a little further then the tip, he can feel an amazing tug on his foreskin. Makoto is panting, leaning forward more, Haruka holds his wight on his forearms. Waiting for Makoto to relax again, heavy breathes, fogging over his neck and making his skin dapple.  
When he feels Makoto's hands move, griping his ribs tightly, urging him closer. Haruka slowly enters, encouraged by his patient lover, all the way to the base of his erection. Makoto hummed, once Haruka stopped, glancing up though his dark hair Haruka waited, enjoying the rhythm of Makoto all around him.  
Makoto chuckled lightly, moving a hand to swiped the strands from his eyes. After a few breaths.  
“Alright.” Makoto told him, crooking his knees around his hips, pulling him closer.  
Taking a deep breath himself, Haruka pulled out, liking the feeling of Makoto's strong legs motivating him. Thrusting deeply, they gasp together.  
Haruka is pulling out already, desperate for the muscles throbbing around him, for that heat that is dragging him in. Haruka's hips find a natural pace, Makoto pants and moans striving him forward over and over.  
Haruka holds onto Makoto tightly, huffing warmly in the curve of his partners neck as he rocks gently, feeling Makoto pushing back into his movement.  
He can feel Makoto's legs weakening with everything thrust as they drown together in warm skin and panting breathing, drinking each other in, Haruka pulling back to watch Makoto's face in absolute ecstasy.  
Haruka was closer then ever, but he wanted Makoto to come first. Haruka press his mouth to Makoto's neck, kissing and sucking lightly. Haruka feels one of Makoto's hands travel into his hair. Slowing his thrusts a little, he angles for that spot again, his right hand following Makoto's example and slipping into soft brown hair.  
When his fingers touch Makoto's scalp he feels something there, it sparks a memory, from the last time he brushed his fingers though Makoto's hair, but doesn't have time to evaluate it. Hitting Makoto's prostate, his lover calls out loudly, very close to his ear.  
Picking his pace back up, Haruka slams the spot relentlessly, Makoto's cries range in volume, his spine arching. Long spurts of seaman spatter between them, Makoto groaning lowly as he helps him ride out an orgasm that sends shivers over his warm skin.  
Haruka releases thickly, “Makotooo..” he says, pumping his fluid into his lovers waiting body, caught by the condom, the hole still spamming around his length. He feels his whole body tremble with the feeling.  
Slowly they came down from the high together, Haruka muscles relaxing pleasantly. Haruka still had his fingers thrust into Makoto's hair. Makoto's eyes where closed as he breathed slowly, he didn't ask him to move, nor did he make attempt to shift Haruka out of him. Haruka examined the spot under his finger carefully, a scar.  
He touched the spot gently, running his fingers over the old injury. Haruka's heart throbbed, even being an old scar, he didn't like the thought of Makoto being hurt. Taking a deep breath, he took his mind away from it, sliding his lips down to his lovers jaw.  
Kissing lightly, Makoto turned to him offering up his lips willingly, even in his tired state. Slowly they enjoyed the tingle between them, before Haruka pulled back with a smile. Haruka pulls out, rolling over next to Makoto and breaths.  
Haruka wants his give Makoto some space, he can still hear him breathing heavily though his nose now. He's sure the tall man is trying to remember how to operate his limbs. That's how he had felt after his first anal penetration, Haruka hummed feeling his muscles spent and relaxing. Pulling off the used condom and tieing it off, Haruka tosses it toward the trash.  
Turning onto his stomach, he pulled the ash tray closer and then fumbled for the unopened pack of cigarettes. Makoto glanced at him when he heard the box being opened, the tall man followed suit rolling onto his belly, though more slowly and finding the lighter next to the ash tray.  
Haruka handed his boyfriend a cigarette, smiling slightly as Makoto took it, bring it to his lips immediately and lighting it with a flick. Letting out a puff of breathy smoke,  
“Fuck.” he tapped the tip on the edge of the ash tray. The cigarette burned and Makoto took another draft, slowly, brushing it out in the tray and turning to gaze at him. Haruka watched with a slight smile, resting his head down on his folded arms as he considered his partner lovingly.  
“I've really been cutting back. Thank you though.” he indicated the hardly used cigarette. “I really needed that...” Haruka smiled and hummed happily, feeling Makoto slide closer letting their legs tangle.  
Haruka closed his eyes and drifted, feeling pleasantly warm next to his boyfriends calm breathing.  
“Did Akio..smoke?” Haruka peered though his eyelashes, hearing the question.  
“Only after sex.” he replied sleepily.  
He couldn't see it very well, but Haruka is sure that Makoto is rubbing at the back of his neck again. Fully opening his eyes, Haruka leans closer and kisses Makoto's jaw, sliding his lips into the curve gently, the angle was a little odd, but Haruka liked that their shoulders pressed together. Makoto chuckled, “I'm not jealous...well a bit but.. I was just thinking, I'm panning on quitting, so we really won't need this by the bed anymore.”  
Haruka smiled, “Are you planning, on being in this bed often?”  
“If you'll have me...that is...” Makoto whispered.  
Makoto rolled onto his side so the he could face his boyfriend.  
“As often as possible..sleeping alone these years have been...exhausting..lonely.” Makoto added, voice slightly louder this time.  
Haruka leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Makoto's, breathing in deeply. It wasn't even about sex, over his time, his years dealing with nightmares and worse, waking up to a partner, warm and alive; breathing next to you...much better then waking up cold and alone.  
“I know the feeling.” Haruka whispers.  
Makoto's lips twitch, one corner lifting up, one of his hand reaches out from the covers and wrapped around the side of Haruka's neck, encouraging the press of their foreheads. Haruka smiled, his own hand slipping up and around to clutch at Makoto's shoulder blades. Makoto bit his bottom lip, thumb stroking Haruka's jaw gently.  
“I love you.” Makoto tells him, his thumb drifting up to brush his boyfriends lip. “Haruka...”  
“Makoto...” Haruka leaned closer, pressing their lips together. Lingering, until Makoto pulled gently away.  
“I love you too.” Haruka confirmed.  
Makoto nodded, light seemed to dance behind green iris, even in the dark, a hum reverberated from him as he leaned forward once more.  
Haruka met him, his lips twitching as he slowly kisses his partner


	20. Our Boys

**H** _aruka lifted_ his head, he could hear Makoto in the shower. Running a hand though his sleep tousled hair he looked around, sighing, That's not what woke me though..then he noticed his phone, singling a text before it started ringing again. He would have left it be, check his voice mail later, however, That's dads ring tone...  
Grabbing the phone, before it cuts out, Haruka accepts the call, placing it to his ear.  
“Dad.” Haruka says, lowly into his phone. Using his other hand to wipe the sleep from his eyes.  
_“Haruka!”_ his father answers quickly, _“It's good to hear your voice son, I'm home, wondered if I could stop by.”_  
“Fine, Makoto will be here though.” Haruka said, sitting up in bed more, the blanket bunching in his lap.  
_Honesty, I really would like to see him and introduce him to Makoto._ He thought he himself, smiling slightly at the fluttering he felt in his chest.  
_“Makoto...? who..?”_ His father seemed to be holding his breath.  
“My boyfriend.” Haruka started, the smile increasing.  
_“Right...I'm on my way.”_ the phone disconnected.  
Haruka looked at the phone in his hand. _Odd. Dad normally says I love you before ending a call..._  
he thinks and places the phone back on the nightstand.  
Haruka's attention was pulled away from his phone, when Makoto re-entered the room, a tell tale movement in his hips. Made more clear, by the fact that Haruka knew what to look for. The jilt in walking, something he had to get used to, though even being pounded so hard you can't get out of bed; Haruka still had gone back for more. Makoto smiled at him despite the burn in his lower half, Haruka felt rather pleased with himself. Haruka stretched like a cat, leaning forward towards Makoto,  
“Morning.” Makoto greets him warmly, he wore casual jeans and a t-shirt, his brown hair is damp and dripping onto his shoulders. Makoto crosses whats left of the space between them, kissing him gently, Haruka responding, letting the feeling linger though their open mouths.  
“Humm” Makoto mumbled as he pulled away a little, whispering, “I was hoping, that you would follow me into the shower.”  
“Sounds nice, maybe we can plan something for later...” Haruka suggests, “My dads gonna be stopping by soon.”  
“So, that's who called.” Makoto said. Haruka guessed he must have been just getting out of the shower, when his phone rang. He nodded slightly, rolling stiff shoulders and looking up at his boyfriend.  
Makoto smiled, “I'll make breakfast then.”  
Haruka didn't say anything, just stared up at him.  
“It's fine, I really don't mind.” he leaned in for a loving peck, before regaining his full height and leaving the room; slowly, Haruka noticed. Haruka would be worried, _At least he's not limping. I must have for ages after my first time._

 

Haruka breathed out contentment, the water soothing over him and dappling his skin with warmth. He could hear Makoto working in the kitchen, he had left the door open slightly, just for that reason. Makoto was humming what sounded like a lullaby, as he prepared breakfast. He smiled, imagining him working, putting everything he has into the task.  
He feels kinda bad about making Makoto do all the work, thinking maybe he'd make it up to his boyfriend later. They have a little bit of time together before they have to pick up the kids, Haruka intends to enjoy the time alone; as much as he loves the boys, Haruka has happily settled into a parent roll; as if it has always been his.  
Haruka takes a deep breath, Makoto has done such a wonderful job on his own. He only hopes to be of some help, in the years to come. Haruka smiles once more, thinking about spending a life time with Makoto makes him excited. Even in such a short time, he feels like he and Makoto have been together forever; years of lasting friendship and love. It feels right, like they grew up this way, in each other company.  
Makoto continues to hum while he muses, a ringing sound interrupting their individual solitude.  
“Hello?” Makoto says, seeming to have answered the phone. “....Oh, yes. That's fine....no, I don't mind at all; they rarely get to see you.  
“We an pick them up tomorrow, sometime in the afternoon.”  
Haruka shifted in the water, tiling his head towards the conversation even though he can't seem were Makoto is standing, even if he has moved to the bed room were his phone was on the headboard.  
“Okay, Love you. Tell the boys as well. M'humm, bye.”  
“Haru,” Makoto called, tapping on the door and peeking though the slight opening.  
“Get in here.” Haruka mumbled.  
Makoto joined him in the bathroom, “that was dad, he says he wants to take the boys to the museum, so we'll pick them up tomorrow instead.”  
“Okay.” Haruka nodded, “I'm gonna get spoiled, having you all to myself for so long.”  
Makoto chuckles, a dusting of color spreading over his cheeks, “...breakfast is ready...”  
“Sure smells good.” Haruka agrees. 

Haruka finds himself sitting at the table with a plateful of pancakes _that honestly smell divine._ Makoto had done all the work while he had spent lingering time in the bath. His boyfriend was smiling at him,  
“You're welcome, now dig in.” Haruka nodded and grasped his fork, every sweet bite was fulling him with energy once more. Making him hum contentedly, Makoto grinned happily, glancing at his boyfriend before handing a small piece of sausage to Chika. Her calico fur sleek as she gently took it from his fingers and gobbled it down, when she was done she glanced at Haruka as if to tell him, _'I approve of this one.'_ Haruka smiled, pleased that Makoto met her approval.  
“I would have made mackerel too,” Makoto says, “but there didn't seem to be any.”  
“....oh, that's my favorite fish...” Haruka mumbles, “...I used to eat it nonstop in high school...how did..?”  
“I don't know,” Makoto shrugged, “it sounded right.”  
“These are really good, though.” Haruka indicated the half eaten pancakes and took another mouth watering bite.  
“...I'm glad you like them.” Makoto smiled, “I'm not a cook like you, but I can get by pretty well. Mom always had me help in the kihen when I was younger, then when the twins were born I joined her even more along with keeping them entertained.  
“it was really helpful when I had to take care of our boys.” he finished, eyes looking far away.  
Haruka glanced at him and then down at his food, _Our boys, must mean his and Kotone._  
“I'm sorry Haruka, my words got away from me,” Makoto chuckled, “I really think of the boys as ours now...”  
Haruka's breath caught, as his heart thumped loudly in his chest. “...you meant me...?” managed to escape the lump in his throat, head snapping up to look at his wonderful, handsome boyfriend.  
“..If that's alright.” Makoto said, biting his lower lip shyly.  
Haruka nodded, strongly. _I'm so lucky, I've found the best boyfriend ever._  
“Our boys.” Haruka tested it, with a smile. Makoto's hand found his on the table, squeezing gently as he laced their figures together.  
There was a loud knock on the door and Chika startled. While Haruka went to answer the door, Makoto tried to make it up to her with more sausage. Haruka welcomed his father into his apartment, even allowing a firm hug. Pulling apart Haruka noticed Makoto standing by the table looking like he wasn't sure how to greet the older man. 

Haruka's father noticed as well and, smiled brightly, taking the steps forward he holds out his arms. Makoto looks uncertain but accepting a hug from his boyfriends father. Pulling back the older man says, “Tachibana Makoto...you've grown up, so handsome.”


	21. The Nightmare is over at last

**“Y** _ou...know me?”_ Makoto asks shocked. The older man grimaced, a pained expression crossing his age lined face suddenly. Nanase-san took another step back, to give Makoto space.  
“Yes...I guess I just figured you remembered...I'm sorry...” he looked around, Haruka slid closer to Makoto, his body language leaning towards him. Makoto glanced at him with a questioning look, which Haruka met and shrugged, telling him he was just as in the dark as he is.  
“This feels...so right..” his father whispered, gaining his attention once more. His face had morphed once more, a lighthearted happiness replacing the deep stabbing sadness. “You found one another, at last.”  
“Why don't you sit down.” Haruka suggested, taking Makoto's hand in his own and heading for the living room just off of the dinning room.  
He and Makoto sat next to each other on the coach and faced the armchair, where his father sat, but nervously twiddled his thumbs.  
“I was told, that if this ever happened, to ask what you do remember.” Nanase-san stated, looking at them. “The areas that seem blank, or like something is missing.”  
Haruka stared at his father, “I asked you once....you just looked at mother and didn't say anything...” 

“For your mother, Haruka this is a very sore spot...even now.” his father mubbled, clasping his hands together before resting them in his lap, he rubes at his knees, “Let's start with you son, anything you think it relevant or even not.”  
Haruka took a deep breath and closed his eyes, this is what he often used to do for the professional his mother had hired when he first started having the nightmares. Only this time, he has Makoto's hand grasping his tightly.  
“Storms terrify me. Sometimes, I dream of a thunder storm, always...as of late I should say, in the dream I'm near the ocean, the water is all gray and frighting. Makoto's there... he jumps into the water every time; even if I scream his name.”  
Biting at his lip Haruka continued, “Before I met Makoto, it was always just a young shape with green eyes...transference..is what my therapist would have said. Also, I often see twins, on the edge of my memories..laughter. I have drawings of the twins.”  
“Could we see them?” Nanase-san asked, voice turning curious.  
Haruka opened his eyes, “Makoto...?”  
“Sure..were are they?” his boyfriend asked, sadly releasing him, (but Haruka knew he would return fast.) rising on long legs and crossing to the short hall that lead to their bedroom.  
“In the closet, the box should be marked, color drawings.” Haruka called after him.  
When his partner came back, his mouth was hanging open and he look puzzled.  
“Makoto...what's wrong..?” Haruka asked him, his father remained silent. The brown haired man plopped back into his seat, holding the drawings in front of him.  
“These are my siblings...my sister Ran and my brother Ren....they are much older now..” Makoto choked out, taking a deep breath and gazing at the fine lines. He set the drawing in his lap and pulled out his wallet, opening it to lot's of pictures, flipping though it to find the one he wanted. Holding it out to his boyfriend, Haruka took the offer and looked at the faces...the same faces he had seen in the pictures at Makoto's apartment, but now next to his drawings there was no mistaking that these where Makoto's twin siblings.  
“You're very talented.” Makoto told him.  
“Thank you.” Haruka said, an honest happiness lighting his eyes.  
The how question seemed to floated in the air, surrounding them in a thick silence.  
“Okay, Makoto, I believe it's your turn.” Nanase-san broke though it with the statement.  
Haruka noticed his boyfriend seemed nervous, placing the photos and drawings safely on his other side he scooted closer to his partner and took his hand once more. Makoto smiled gently, looking at him starting his story, “I've always felt like a big part of me was missing, there is a blankness I've never been able to breach.”  
He chewed his tongue a little, thinking how to continue, “When I was sixteen, I was in an accident, I was on a beach in the middle of a thunder storm...then I woke up in the hospital. My parents told me that I had lost a friend that way a long time ago, so I could never figure out what would have made me go down there in the first place. I was diagnosed with Amnesia, my memories have never fully returned, though I do remember slivers...foggy feelings mostly.”  
Makoto gently soothed the back of Haruka hand as he kept talking, “I remember a warm bed, someone is there but I can't really see them just feel. I recall being a little scared but I seemed to trust this person.” Haruka smiled, the idea of being jealous entered his mind briefly, but was gone, shoved away by the loving look Makoto rested on him.  
Haruka's father took a loud in hale, making them turn to him.  
“Alright boys, I think it's about time I re-acquainted you with a story.” he laced his fingers together, tapping his mouth for a moment, he began,  
“Sixteen years ago, you and Makoto were friends, grew up together in fact, you both lived in a very small town by the ocean called iwatobi.”  
Makoto looked at him, “It would explain things, I mean it's such a small town how could we not have seen each other....I'm sorry I wish I could remember..” he frowned deeply. Haruka shook his head, silently conveying that he shouldn't force himself and that it's alright.  
“You're mother would loath me telling you this...” Nanase-san told them.  
“Keep going then.” Haruka nodded. 

 

“The two of you where always inseparable, often Makoto would know what you wanted, sometimes I think he knew what you wanted more then what he wanted for himself. Both of you where growing and honestly, I should have noticed the signs.”  
Nanase-san smiled sadly, “Your mother and I went on a trip for a month, leaving you alone. I'm not sure how long, the two of you had been seeing each other in more then platonic way. But...your mother came home early without me, she told me later that the house was dark and she figured you where sleeping over at Makoto's house.  
“She walked in on both of you, in our bedroom, not in the middle... you where both asleep but not for long. She screamed. You and Makoto had made love, in the master bedroom. She started going hysterical.  
“I can only imagine, I can also only guess how the two of you must have felt. It wasn't long that I got a call from you, Haruka, I could hear her in the background practically breathing fire. You weren't paying any attention to her, just trying to keep Makoto calm and talk to me on the phone... fill me in on what was happening.  
“She told Makoto to go home and never set foot in her house again...she was shocked and appalled that you went with him.” Nanase-san was looking very far away, as he continued his story.  
“The next day I arrived back home and we held a meeting at Tachibana's place, your mother was quiet and I new that things were bad....you both held onto each other, just like you are now, giving each other support.  
“Your mother and Makoto's had a big falling out over it, she was fine with Haruka dating her son and actually very happy it was him. Your mother however wouldn't hear of it, the scandal alone would shake her world; add in the fact that she'd never see grand kids, she put her foot down.  
“You went to the beach to think like you often would, while she rampaged some more and started packing; she didn't want to be anywhere near 'that woman and her son' The weather got really bad and Makoto went looking for you; hopping he had given you enough alone time. The doctors think you tried to take your life Haruka, I'm not sure that's true. I do know though, Makoto saved your life that night. We found you in each others arms once more drenched on the beach.” Haruka father took a deep breath. “When Makoto couldn't remember you, it killed some part of you inside, I watched it die before my eyes. They had to take you into medical care, they didn't want to take a chance you would 'try again'  
Your body couldn't handle the turmoil, so you shut down and when you resurfaced...all the bad memories were gone from your head...after a while you started having nightmares but never seemed to bring it all back. I thought it was best to keep you both together, slowly let things come back with just how natural you both are with each other, but your mother wouldn't have it. She took us far away, and I heard that a year later Makoto had met and married a girl from school.” Nanase-san held out his arms, “And here we are at last...the nightmare has ended...at least I hope.”  
Haruka nodded, a smile touching his face, “Thanks dad, we have a lot to think about.”  
His father agreed, “Well, I'll leave you boys to it.”  
“I love you.” Haruka said, as his father started to leave only to stop and turn to him. Nanase nodded, looking very happy to hear the words.  
“I love you too son, I really do..” his father replied, smiling. They heard him leave with the soft click of the apartment door.  
Makoto sighed, letting his whole body relax with the motion as he leaned into Haruka, placing his head on his boyfriends shoulder. Haruka smiled, taking a deep breath and slowly carding his right hand though Makoto's brown hair, they held onto each other in silence for awhile just drinking in being able to be together.  
Once he felt he could speak Makoto lifted his head, pulling back to look at him. Yet all he managed to say, was his boyfriends name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've jumped around about this chapter, for a very long time. I always wanted Nanase-san to revival the truth, but I feel I could have done it better. I know, that in general, it wasn't really a big, dark secret, I also don't really like writing Haruka's mother in just a high class mean light, but by the time I got down to it, I knew that if I changed it; the whole point of the plot would have to change too.   
> If you notice, I detail some of the passed moments in the dreams that Haruka has, chapter 12: Sleep, was a dream like version of their first time as teenagers, it becomes more of a nightmare in Chapter 14: Storm, were it details when his mom walks in on them and more importantly after, when Haruka is at the hospital and finds out that Makoto no longer remembers him; when he really losses himself.


	22. If I don't say it enough, I love you.

**“H** _aruka..”_ Makoto began.   
“I know...” Haruka told him gently. Tightening his grip on his partners hand. Makoto bit his lip, in thought then leaned forward into Haruka's personal space. Haruka welcomed him, opening his mouth and pressing their lips together. Gently they held one another, melting into the warmth, pressing closer to it. Soon the pace picked up and all the desperation flowed out, everything they had lost as teenagers and now what they had, trying to make it work years later.   
Once they parted for breath, tears stained Makoto's face, “So, this means you were my first...”  
Haruka wiped at his face with the pads of his thumbs, leaning in for a gentler kiss, whispering close to his partners open mouth, “Let's go to the bedroom instead...let's make love again...and again...until we can't move.”   
Makoto nodded, seeming to feel the same way. Standing he held out a hand to pull Haruka from the couch. Smiling down at him he said, “Let's go, Haru-chan...”   
Haruka blinked, taking his hand allowing the grip to help him to his feet. A shiver ran down his spine and he pulled on Makoto's arm, trying to make him hurry. Makoto made up for it by stumbling after him and once gaining his balance back, proceeding to lift his boyfriend right up and carry him to their bedroom.   
Haruka shrieked, but only grabbed around broad shoulders to support his wight. Smiling he kissed Makoto once more, merriment dancing in his belly. He's never felt as happy, only when he's with the man currently holding him. They passed though the short hall and entered their room, parting momentarily, Makoto flopped them on the still unmade bed. The sheets still tumbled from last nights events, which they planned to now continue. The taller man crawled into Haruka's lap, straddling his thighs, Haruka encouraged the movement by placing his hands on Makoto's hips.   
“You sure you'll be okay for another go...?” Haruka asked him.   
Makoto's eyes flutter low, he leans forward pressing their foreheads together.   
“Hmm, I want you to make love to me please...let's spend as much time together as possible.”  
“Okay.” That's all Haruka needed to hear from his partner. His fingers slipped up into Makoto's hair, tracing gently over the old scar.  
“Was this from the accident?” Haruka asked.   
Makoto nodded, “Yeah...I've had that scar for so long now...I didn't even think of warning you about it...”  
Haruka smiled, watching Makoto leaning into his palm, “It feels so nice, when you do that...”   
Makoto relaxed with a contented sigh. Haruka wrapped his left arm around his boyfriends waist, pressing them closer.  
Makoto chuckled, kissing him lightly, “Hold on...” Makoto shifted away from him, crawling off the bed and removing his t-shirt as he crossed the room to the closet. Haruka smiled, pulling his own shirt off, lifting off the bed to sheds his pants as well. The light was on in the closet, striping across the rug and wood floor.  
When Makoto returned, his body bare, pulling on the cored to place themselves back in dim light. Makoto carried a fresh bottle of lubricant. Haruka watched him walk over, as he rested back on the pillows, the blankets tossed carelessly over his long legs.   
Makoto slipped next to him, laying comfortably on Haruka's right side. Haruka smiled at him, “I see you found that box too.”   
Makoto nodded, biting at his lip, “At some point the vibrator will be fun to play with...” he admitted honestly. Haruka was pleased that he voiced it, smiling gently.   
“How would you like to do this, Makoto?” Haruka asked, pressing closer to him, placing a hand on his boyfriends hip.  
“This is fine, I like side by side.” he whispered. “And um...like this I can finger you at the same time?...”   
“Mmm.” Haruka hooked his elbow so that Makoto can lay his head on it, leaning in for a kiss. Haruka parted his lips and slipped warmly into his boyfriends mouth, feeling Makoto open up for him.   
Makoto pulled away from him slightly, “That's if you're okay with me doing that...”  
“I am, Makoto, please...do anything you want.” Haruka whispered, over his partners moist lips.   
Makoto smiled, bringing the bottle of lubricant closer. He popped open the top, with a skilled thumb. Haruka patted Makoto's hip once, before removing it and holding out his left hand. Makoto tipped the bottle and squeezed out some of the cool liquid, letting more then Haruka would need fill his palm. Snapping it shut once more, he tossed it to the bottom of the bed, turning back to Haruka.   
Makoto slipped his fingers into the gel covering Haruka's hand, coating his fingers, he smiled, tilting his head back.  
Haruka leaned into him, lips gentle as his hand slipped down passed Makoto's right butt cheek. Dipping a finger to his partners hole.   
Makoto's lubricated hand rested on Haruka's hip, clutching tightly, slicking Haruka's skin. “You're still really loose...” Haruka whispered, slipping his finger in deeper. “Dose it hurt...?”   
Makoto hummed, “Not really, might twinge a little when we get to more fingers.”   
Haruka slowly pumped his finger in and out of his partner, swiveling it, pressing his lips to Makoto's throat, when he groaned low. Makoto's slick hand drifted to the base of Haruka's spine.   
“Okay?” Haruka asked him, lining up a second finger.   
“Yeah, go ahead.” Makoto said, his leg lifted, knee hooking over Haruka's hip; giving him more access.   
Haruka pressed in the finger, sliding it next to the first.   
“ohhh...” Makoto exhaled.   
Haruka bit his lip, watching Makoto as he relaxed into the intrusion. After a few lingering thrusts of his fingers, Haruka probed his boyfriends insides. Pressing firmly at the mound of muscles that made Makoto twitch with pleasure.   
“Haruka...” Makoto trembled, moaning into his neck. Haruka hummed, rubbing over the spot, panting into Makoto's shoulder.   
Haruka pulled out his fingers, placing the third with them and pressing gently. Makoto accepted him, his anus twitching around his digits as he sank into Makoto's warmth; dragged along by Makoto's gasp.  
“Baby...please.” Makoto whispers, leaning back so he can look at his boyfriend. “I'm more then ready for you...”   
Haruka thrusts his fingers a few times, feeling his arousal twitch next to Makoto's, making them both whimper.   
Haruka nodded, pulling his fingers out and shifting slightly. Grasping his cock, brushing the head back and forth over the clenching opening. Pushing in was rather easy this round, Makoto's walls pulling him in, as his boyfriend huffed, his knee pulling him closer desperate for the burn of penetration filling his senses.   
When Haruka couldn't go any further, he paused, waiting for Makoto to relax again. Haruka rubbed his hand soothingly over Makoto's back, pressing his shoulder blades with gentle finger tips.   
Makoto hummed, thankful for his attentiveness. His own hand slipped down, finding the space between Haruka's ass, not entering but placing slick fingers to the clenching muscles. Causing Haruka to inhale sharply.  
“I love this so much...” Makoto said, locking eyes with him, panting slightly, “...I think I've been turned into a bottom...”   
“I'm not complaining...” Haruka said, slowly running his hand up Makoto's back. “You're so warm Makoto; in every way, your smile lights up a dim room, and when I'm with you like this, nothing else matters, just you.  
“It may be silly, but I could be connected like this, with you forever...” Haruka continued, his eyes slipping closed slightly as he just felt Makoto breathing.   
Makoto shook his head, “Not silly, I feel the same way...”   
Haruka breath out though parted lips, opening his eyes once more to see Makoto's bright face.   
Leaning forward to meld with Makoto completely. They kissed deep, lingering slowly, opening up to each other. Makoto panted hotly into his mouth, Haruka breath in Makoto, receiving as much as giving.   
Haruka moaned lowly into Makoto's open mouth, as his partner wiggled a finger over tight muscles, relaxing them with drawn out circling motions.  
When Makoto slipped a finger into his waiting hole, Haruka's hips hitched naturally.   
“Ahhhh” tumbled from Makoto's mouth.   
“Sorry...” Haruka huffed, stilling, as both his cock and anus tingled pleasure that swept all the way to the base of his spine.   
“'s fine...you can move...” Makoto gasp, his eyes fluttering closed as he tried concentrating on the in and out thrusting of his finger deep in Haruka's loosening hole.   
Haruka hummed and slowly pulled out, plunging back into that warmth in a way that made his toes curl in the sheets.   
Makoto whimpered, as he clutched tightly with his hooked knee, creating a rocking motion between them. After a little while Makoto matched his thrusts with the ones hitting him deep.   
“Makoto...” Haruka breathed out, keeping a pleasing rhythm with his gasping partner. He felt so much, the sheen of sweat that dappled their heated skin, pressing together with each rock.   
Haruka was trembling in Makoto's arms, he'd never gotten it from the front and back, at the same time before.   
Makoto held him tightly, opening his eyes a little, looking at him though low lashes. Haruka locked his gaze on Makoto's eyes, keeping himself from floating away, keeping him with Makoto.   
His lover smiled gently, shifting a little to un-trap his left arm from between them, slipping in around Haruka's waist.  
Heart beating fast, Haruka could feel all the love he had for the man in his arms, fluttering in his chest, while he focused on snapping his hips.  
Makoto hummed, and Haruka felt him slip in another finger, allowing a slight burn to seep into his lower half, making him lean forward into Makoto's shoulder. He moaned shamelessly, when Makoto curled his fingers around his prostate.  
They clung to each other, Haruka stilling for a moment to catch his breath, feeling pleasure thrum though his entire body in tumbling waves. Makoto hummed, brushing his fingers slowly around the bunch of muscles.   
“Ohhh...” Haruka groaned, titling into the feeling and striving him to resume his pace. Thrusting deeply, into Makoto, hitting the same sensitive spot in his lover.   
“Haruka...” his lover called out, huffing a little, “'m close...”   
Nodding he picked things up a bit, snapping his hips sharply into his partners shaking body.   
“I love you.” Haruka said, leaning towards him, still moving along with Makoto.  
“I love you too..” Makoto whispered.  
Haruka shuttered, the words seeping into him, Makoto pressing his prostate firmly.   
“Hahaahhhh.” He came first, jerking forward into Makoto's clenching warmth that pulled on him strongly. His body twitched, his orgasm plundering though every nerve.   
His seed spilled into Makoto, who followed close behind, calling out loudly near his ear as his ejaculation spluttered between them. They rocked back and forth, lingeringly helping each other though their orgasms.   
“Mmm..” Makoto mumbled, his breathing slowly returning to normal as Haruka held him close. Feeling their hearts beating next to each other, their chest pressing with a stickiness between them. Makoto's fingers slipped out of him, his arm draping tiredly next to his other as he hugged his partner close.  
Haruka kissed Makoto's shoulder gently, smiling into his damp skin. Holding each other, they breathed and allowed the relaxation to kick in, eventually Haruka had to put out, his cock going flaccid and unable to stay inside.   
“Humm, we shouldn't sleep the day away.” Makoto mumbled, though he didn't sound very convinced by his own words.   
“It's fine, we can always take a bath together if you want...” Haruka sleepily suggested, knowing he would have to help clean his partner out.  
Makoto nuzzled closer, whispering into his neck, “That sounds nice, maybe in a little while.”  
Haruka hummed agreement, letting their skin cool down slowly as they held each other, slipping into the natural body heat between them. 

 

 **T** he sun had slipped away replaced with a purple dusk, they hadn't slept though the day but washed in the bath together and then were mostly lazy, watching movies and cuddling on the couch, while eating dinner they told each other childhood stories and once or twice found one they shared and were able to fill in the blanks that had been there for years. Makoto was in the kitchen washing dishes when his phone started ringing, “Makoto!” Haruka called from the dining room table.  
“Go ahead and answer it hun!” Makoto shouted, over his shoulder.  
Haruka picked up the phone from the table where his boyfriend had left it. The sun had slipped away replased with a purple dusk, they hadn't slept though the day but washed and then were mostly lazy, watching movies and cuddling on the couch, while eating dinner they told each other childhood storied and once or twice found one they shared and were able to fill in the blanks that had been there for years.   
“Makoto!” a young woman voice greeted him.  
“Haruka actually, Makoto is washing dishes.” Haruka held the phone to his ear.  
“Ohh,” she whispered, like she was holding her breath, “Mom told me, but I wanted to be sure...hearing your voice...it's like I'm a little girl again...”   
“I don't really remember still, I'm just guessing here...Ran?” Haruka questioned, shifting in his seat to peer at his boyfriend.  
“Yes...Haruka...” Ran said, gently, “Um...if it's okay, I'd really love to see you...I called to invite you and Makoto to lunch...Ren will be there too.”  
“I think Makoto would really like that.” Haruka said, “When is a good time, I have the week off so I'm free.”   
“Oh, how about tomorrow; the little coffee place near the book shop; Makoto will know the one. Say, about noon if that's alright with both of you.”   
“Sounds fine, we'll see you both there.” Haruka told her.   
Ran took a deep breath, “Haru, I'm so very glad; Makoto needs you most in this world...”   
“I'm glad too.” Haruka whispered, his eyes lingering on his boyfriend, Makoto was walking towards him with a smile.  
“Would you like to talk to your brother?” Haruka asked, smiling back at Makoto gently.  
“Yeah, give me to him really quick.” Ran replied.   
Haruka handed the phone up to Makoto, his boyfriend took the phone, “Hello?”  
“Ran! How are you, been busy?” They chatted for a little bit before Makoto wished her goodbye. Makoto closed his phone with a flip.  
“It'll be so nice seeing them, they both have been so busy with school.” Makoto told him, placing the phone on the table once more. Haruka shifted in his seat, hands reaching for his boyfriends hips. Getting him to turn gently, pulling him down into his lap.   
Makoto rested back into his hold, a smile playing on his mouth. Haruka covers his arms over Makoto's slight waist. “Don't worry, they've missed you I can tell.”  
“How do you feel...Makoto? my parents keeping distance is one thing...” Haruka muttered, lovingly near his ear.   
“...they really didn't have much choice did they? Ran and Ren where still so young at the time; with you gone and your mother being so stubborn...they just wanted me happy; mom was the one who first introduced me to Kotone.” Makoto leaned into him a little more, hands drifting over Haruka's arms.  
“If I don't say it enough, I love you, so much Makoto.” he pressed his face into his partners neck.  
“I know, Haruka, I'll never tire of hearing it though...never.” Makoto said, “I love you too.”   
Haruka smiled, how naturally they could talk about things, without to much embarrassment, they had grown up. Now, as adults they where even closer then before.  
“Should get some sleep, we can pick up the boys after meeting with my siblings.” Makoto mumbled, disturbing their peace.   
“Humm.” Haruka said, “ I think I'll defiantly sleep tonight.”  
“I'll be here, even though the nightmares.” Makoto told him.  
“Thank you.” Haruka said, pulling away enough to look at him.  
“Babies, let's get you to bed.” Makoto whispered gently, “there's no need to thank me...”   
Haruka tightened his griped, “Hun, after how much I've loved on you...I better be thanking you.” tilting his head he kissed gently at Makoto's neck, “you must be uncomfortable; and you're taking care of me...”   
Makoto shifted, “I don't mind...and besides we can take care of each other.”  
“Yeah.” Haruka agreed, “bed.”   
Makoto smiled, lifting from his seat in Haruka's lap, holding out his hand for his boyfriend. Haruka took the offered hand, letting Makoto lead him to their bedroom.


	23. Without Makoto, I think I missed you the most.

**H** _aurka held_ onto his boyfriends hand as they walked slowly to the coffee shop that Ran had suggested, after words, all four of them would visit at the book shop so that Ren and Ran could see their nephews for a little while.   
Ran waved at them from a table seated outside the Coffee shop, the day was rather warm and beat down on them as the couple walked towards the younger siblings.   
They stood to greet them, Ran holding out her arms for them as they approached.   
“Haru!” she said, Makoto released him so his sister could jump into his arms. Haruka relaxed, almost immediately, her small frame enveloping him.   
Haruka held her close, she smelled like cinnamon, the strong sent clinging to her long hair as she tucked her face into his neck.  
“It's been to long...” she breathed out, “far to long...”   
They drifted for a while, Haruka soothing back her hair. When Ran composed herself a little more, pulling back with a sniffle, Haruka took in her appearance, he could still see the ghost of the young girl, he could remember in her fine face.   
“You've grown so much...” Haruka whispered.  
“Gosh, that's odd.” she tilted her head a little, “I'm only a little shorter then you now.”  
Haruka smiled gently, “You look wonderful.”   
“Thank you.” she returned him a smile, with only a slight shyness.   
“Haruka.” Ren whispered, he and Makoto had pulled apart.  
The young man now, holding out his arms tentatively. Trading places Ran hugged her brother, having to stand on her toes a little to do so.  
Haruka opened his arms for Ren, they fell into a hug gently, Ren gripping onto his shoulder blades as he tightened his hold.  
Haruka swayed a little with the young man in his arms, just naturally, he could hear Ren smile in the way his breathing changed.   
Ren drifted in the motion, “You used to hold me like this when I was a boy...”   
“Didn't even think about it, felt right..” Haruka told him.   
“It's like seeing a parent again after a long month at summer camp...” Ren told him, “you always did know how to calm me down.”  
Haruka soothed his hand down Ren's back gently, “I let everyone pretend, but with Makoto's memories gone; I think I missed you the most.”  
Haruka glanced at the other two, Ran had her arm loosely wrapped around Makoto's waist, they watched them with matching smiles.  
“I think that's true,” Ran agreed, “he even was gone for a whole day; until we found him crying with a scraped knee in front of your old house.”   
Haruka held Ren a little tighter, tucking his nose into the collar of Ren's shirt.   
“I knew you weren't there, but I missed you so much..” Ren told him.   
Haruka breathed in deeply, Ren also smelled of cinnamon, it reminded him of summer days, “I'm so sorry, I should have been there for you...”   
Ren pulled away a little shaking his head, “No. Don't apologies. If my boyfriend forgot all about my existence, I think I probably would shut down too...”  
Ran slipped away from Makoto and retook her seat, her head turned in the direction of the waitress who was making her way towards them.  
Ren smiled, squeezing Haruka one last time before joining his sister. Makoto smiled at him too, pulling out a chair for him.  
Sitting down they all ordered something, letting the waitress run back inside.  
“Speaking of your boyfriend, are you still dating?” Makoto asked gently.  
Ren's face lighted up, as he nodded, rubbing at the back of his neck a little, “Yeah, we've been together for seven years now.”   
“I'm waiting for the day he tells me their getting married,” Ran said, “They are already planning to move into an apartment after school, so it's increasingly likely they'll get married before I even find someone respectable...”  
Haruka tilted his head at her, “Really, you're so very pretty though; I'd think you'd have men begging for your hand.”  
Ran blushed a little, color dusting over her face, “Thank you, Haruka. Though, growing up with so many wonderful men, with three brothers counting you and then father, I've found that I'm rather picky, no collage boy will do.”  
“I'm glad you're so sensible, but then you always have been so much like mother.” Makoto said, his smile getting brighter.   
Ren crossed his arms over his chest, “Well, Ran, why don't you have Makoto set you up with one of his co workers, I've meet some of the fire men; really nice guys.”   
“Actually, Makoto, I wouldn't be apposed to that; if you don't mind.” Ran sat up a little straighter in her seat.  
The waitress brought out their drinks when Makoto relaxed into a reply, “Yeah, I think I know someone, I'll let you know if he's interested.”  
“Thank you much.” Ran said, taking a sip of her fancy coffee. 

 

 **T** hey spent time at the book shop, the boys still very excited about being together again. Giggling as they chased each other around the shop.  
Haruka grabbed Etsuko lifting him up, earning him a delighted shriek, before the boy settled in his arms, Emi stopping to wrap his arms around his fathers legs.   
“They missed you, last night I think.” Tamaki told his son-in-law.  
Makoto nodded, placing his hand on his sons head, gently running his fingers though dark brown hair.   
“Well, I think it's best to take them home.” Makoto said, Ren and Ran where conversing with Tamaki cashier, while both bought an arm full of books.  
“Thank you for bringing them by Makoto,” Tamaki said, pushing up his glasses on his aging face. “I do enjoy their company, and yours; also, you've found yourself a fine young man here.” he indicated towards Haruka who smiled gently, holding Etsuko close to his heart as the young boy finely relaxed, seeming more then ready for bed.  
“I'm the lucky one, to have met Makoto.” Haruka admits.   
“I know that Kotone would be very pleased.” Tamaki said, “she wouldn't have liked you all alone Makoto; she always told me that she thought you'd go mad if you didn't have someone by your side.” Huffing out a breath he continued, “I said she wasn't giving you enough credit, I can see that in the way you've raised your boys, but I do agree with her; you need someone.”   
Makoto turned to Haruka, smiling gently, “You're probably right.”   
“Well, I don't mean to keep you both, take your boys home.” Tamaki said, patting Makoto's shoulder before wishing the twins goodbye. 

**A** ll of them parted ways, with Ran an Ren outside the book shop, both Makoto and Haruka holding a sleepy boy, bags sling over their shoulders.   
“Don't be strangers!” Makoto called after them, lovingly.   
“We'll try not to be!” Ran shouted back, “don't forget about setting me up with a friend of yours!”   
Makoto waved as best he could, with Emi draped in his arms.   
“Sorry we can't stay tonight, but I should really go into work tomorrow.” Makoto told him, as they walked to Makoto's apartment.  
“It's alright, Rin and Aii invited me to go to the hospital, they're going to finally adopt their little boy and he's being released tomorrow.” Haruka said, shifting Etsuko slightly, trying his best not to disturb the sleeping boy.  
“We're going to need to figure something out, can't jump back and forth between apartments.” Makoto voiced.  
“Makoto, are you asking me to move in with you?” Haruka questioned, turning his head towards his boyfriend as they walked side by side.  
“Well,” Makoto whispers shyly.   
Haruka could see this as a moment, Makoto would start rubbing at his neck, but this time his hands were full with a sleeping boy.   
“I could always move in with you; I noticed the guest room in your house; looks like it's never been used even..” Makoto said, now biting his lip. “I know it's really fast but...you do live closer to where we both work...and the boys will be changing classes in no time anyway...”  
“You don't have to sell it to me,” Haruka smirked, “I was already making room for everybody in my head the moment you mentioned it.”  
Makoto smiled, “I mean for now anyway, we don't really need to rush things...”  
“Yeah, besides, give us time, we'll grow out of the place.” Haruka nodded towards the boys.  
They walked companionably after that, managing to get the boys up to bed, with skills Makoto has perfected over the years and Haruka was just learning.   
Once the boys where tucked in, Makoto walked Haruka to the door, kissing him gently goodbye.  
“You could always stay the night here...” Makoto suggested.  
Haruka hummed into Makoto's lips, “It's best if I go home, you'd never get to work if you had me to trip over as well as the boys.”   
Makoto sighed, “Yeah, you're right; though I would enjoy tripping over you...”   
“Which is why....I better go..” Haruka mumbled. “I know, it doesn't feel fair...but I'll see you sometime tomorrow night. I'll cook dinner for you and the boys, hows that sound?”   
“Alright...” his hand swept at dark bangs gently, “Only good dreams, while I'm gone...'kay?”  
“Only good dreams.” Haruka agreed, kissing him fleetingly once more.   
Pulling away before he was convinced otherwise, opening the door and slipping out, “Goodnight.”   
“Night, Haruka.” Makoto called, “I love you.”   
“...love you too.” Haruka breathed, as the door closed behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sporadic updates. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!<3


	24. Adoption

Aiichirou excitedly jumped out of the car once Rin found a parking spot, he had bought a car seat and slung a dipper bag around his slight form as he slipped around the car and took hold of Rin's hand.   
The redhead smiled toothily at him,  
“We finally get to bring him home, Aii.” his loving tone was not missed by Haruka, who carried the car seat with him. Following a little ways behind the thrilled couple,  
“I just feel like jumping up and down.” Aiichirou admitted, lacing his fingers with Rin's letting his boyfriend ground him to earth.  
Once inside the hospital, they darted around the consistent hospital traffic to the desk were Rin and Aiichirou needed to fill out more mountains of paper work, Haruka left them to it, not wanting to hover; although they only seemed to notice each other and the task at hand.   
Haruka looked though the glass at the baby's in their little beds, lot's of them where fussing, crying out and kicking small feet. Many of them were new borns and a little older, Haruka is sure that some of there birthdays are today. It makes him think of how many happy parents there must be right now, not only his lucky friends. No matter what, being blessed with a child was lots of work. Weather you're the birth parents, bringing the child into the world or the adoptive parents, diving though loop holes and signing papers making promises. In the end, getting to hold that infant, seeing them for the first time must be such a joy, that all of it must be worth the effort. Haruka need only think of his boys, to know that in his heart.   
Haruka smiled as he watched the babies, a nurse walked up to him with a smile, he was observing a sweet baby girl who seemed to be content just to sleep.   
“That girls been though a lot recently.” the nurse told him gently, “she's been sleeping soundly, finely.”  
Haruka knew what it was like to have trouble sleeping, so he could sympathize.  
“Are her parents picking her up soon?” Haruka questioned the nurse.  
She frowned, as she shook her head, “Unfortunately no, she was brought in about five days ago; her parents died in a fire and she has no living relatives so she's up for adoption.”  
Haruka gripped the car seat in his hand tightly, feeling his heart beating fast in his chest.  
“So, which one is yours?” the nurse asked gently, perking up a little.  
“Oh..um actually; my friends are finalizing adoption.” He nodded his head towards Rin and Aiichirou. The silver haired man was singing papers at the front desk, hand shaking slightly from excitement. Rin soothing his back gently with a hand.   
“I see, how wonderful!” the nurse said.   
Haruka smiled as he watched them before turning back to the sleeping girl though the glass.  
“Um, how old is she?” Haruka asked the nurse.  
“A month.” she told him, “very sad, I'm surprised no one has adopted her yet.”  
“What does it take to adopt?” Haruka found it slip from his mouth before he could even think about pulling it back.  
Having seen what his friends had to go though, he can imagine it wouldn't work for him; being   
'technically' single.   
“Well!” the nurse got very bright, “Mr?”  
“Nanase.” Haruka informed her, without looking away from the little girl, who had woken up as if she knew someone was talking about her.   
“Really?” the nurse questioned, “as in Yukini Nanase?”  
“Well, that would be my mother, yes.” Haruka stated.   
“Oh my, she's always been very generous in her donations.” the nurse trilled, “Well, if you come with me I can have you talk with someone and get you started on paper work.”  
Haruka glanced at her, “Really?” he questioned.  
“Yes, if you'd really like to take her home.” she nodded, her smile bright, “I'm sure there will be no problem in adopting her, Nanase-san.”   
Haruka had never used is mothers name to get something he wanted, but looking at the lonely baby girl again though the glass, watching as she opened and closed her fingers.   
“Alright.” Haruka said, “I'd really like to adopt her, yes.”  
Rin's mouth was hanging open, as he slipped in next to them and also started signing papers for adopting as well, he had the grace though to not say anything.   
Aiichirou was already buckling his son into the car seat when Haruka finally got though it all, his mind felt a bit fuzzy but his heart was leaping, doing flip flops.  
Rin rubbed at Aiichiro's shoulders gently, “I'll admit to being a little surprised, but I can already tell; you're a father more then ready to hold his child.”  
The nurse at the front desk smiled too, “I'll have somebody get her for you.”   
“Thank you.” Haruka said to her, turning back to his friends.  
Aiichirou held the car seat in the hook of his right elbow, gently stroking his baby boys small face with a finger.   
Both he and Rin had lingered in taking turns holding their new child before setting him in the car seat.   
Haruka took a deep breath in, “I don't even have anything set up, I'm gonna have to do a lot of shopping.”   
“You'll be fine, I can tell.” Rin said gently, “You keep Aii and Youko company, until you can leave, I'll run and buy you a car seat.”  
Haruka exhaled, “Thanks.”   
“No problem, we can all head home together when things are settled.” Rin told him, he leaned over and gave Aiichirou a sweet kiss, said good by to the gurgling baby and twirled his car keys as he left.  
“Mr, Nanase?” a nurse walked over to them carefully, carrying his little girl.   
“Yes.” Haruka confirmed.  
“Well, here we go, just cradle her head like this, that's good.” The nurse passes him the baby gently.  
Once Haruka has her cradled in his arms, it all feels very real. He can breath once more, she gurgles at him and grips strongly onto his finger with her small hand.  
Aiichirou and him drift over to the waiting area, so they aren't in the way.   
“It's amazing isn't it?” the silver haired man asks him, “how they make it to your heart so quickly; you wonder how anyone could possibly give up something so precious; and at the same time you're so glad they did.”   
Haruka watched his baby for a little while, “I'm very glad that she was saved; her parents died in a fire about five days ago.”  
They sat down together, Haruka barley looking away from his daughter, wiggling his finger in her grip and making her smile.   
Aiichirou bit his lip gently, “I'm so very happy you decided to take her in, I think you'll be very good for each other.”   
Haruka hummed, thinking about what Makoto would say, he glanced up at the clock; Makoto would be on lunch break about now.   
“Aii, could you hold her for a bit...I really should call Makoto and tell him...that I've added to our growing family.” Haruka said to him.  
Aiichirou nodded, looking thrilled, “Sure.”   
Haruka gently passed his daughter into his friends arms, watching as the sliver hair man cooed at her before finding his phone from his jacket pocket.   
He thumbed though his contacts finding, 'Makoto'   
“Hello hun, this is a nice surprise.” his boyfriend greeted him, the phone only ringing a few times.  
“Ohh, you have no idea.” Haruka said, cryptically, “Are you sitting down, baby?”  
“Yeah, why? What's wrong, are you okay?!” Makoto started to sound a little panicked.   
“Makoto...I'm fine don't worry.” Haruka said, “Though, I am at the hospital like I said I would be. Rin and Aii adopted their baby boy; his name is Youko.”  
“Oh! That's wonderful, now I have two babies to meet; Aoi gave me a call and invited all of us to dinner sometime.” Makoto said cheerfully.   
“Actually, that makes three babies you need to meet.” Haruka whispered, “I...ah, happen to be a new father as well, not just to Etsuko and Emi...”   
Makoto was silent for a moment.  
“I know, I probably should have called you first, but the nurse was ready for me to start signing the papers and she's such a sweet little girl, her parents died in a fire about fives days ago and she was saved; she had no one else.” Haruka gasped out, clutching the phone a little tighter then necessary. His girl giggled, while Aiichiro kept her entertained.   
“Woah, Haruka, sweetheart, I'm not mad or anything, just slow down baby, breath.” Makoto told him, gently.   
Haruka did as he was told taking a deep breath and then exhaling.  
“Good.” Makoto seemed to breath better too, “Now, did I hear you correctly; her parents died in a fire about five days ago?”   
Haruka nodded, “That's what the nurse told me, she's a month old and has no surviving relatives. I'm suppose to meet her social worker, which is Aoi; I don't think the nurse realized we're related; tomorrow at noon.”  
“Haruka, I saved a baby girl from a fire; an apartment was ablaze less then a week ago and I found her in a stairwell, her parents had tried to get out...” Makoto told him.   
“Oh my gosh...” Haruka whispered, a hand running though his dark hair as he looked at his daughter, safe in his friends arms. “Makoto.”   
“Haruka, I'm very happy, I can feel it pulling on my chest...” Makoto said lowly, “I love you.”   
Smiling, Haruka managed to work his voice, “I love you too”  
“Dinner tonight still okay?” Makoto asked.  
“Yeah, I'm making spaghetti” Haruka replied, nodding his head.   
“I'll see you then. Get home safe.” his boyfriend told him.   
“I will.” Haruka agreed.


	25. Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not _dead_....really I promise...just _Married._

**H** _aruka was in the backseat_ of Rin's car before he could take a steady breath, he sat between the two new members of their family one rather uncomfortable in the new surroundings. Wailing loudly and waving his hands in the air, Haruka handed him a rattle and shook it enough to make noise, the boy continued to sniffle but took interest in the toy.

“Let's stop at the toy store,” Aiichirou says, looking very upset that his new son was in the backseat without him for comfort. He smiles though, “I'm sure Haru needs to pick up bottles and such maybe some clothing.” 

Haruka nodded, “Would be nice to at least get an idea of everything I'll be needing. Makoto can help at some point...” 

Rin slowed the car and took a right hand turn into the parking lot of a very large store. Haruka fumbled unbuckling the car seat, but figured it out helping himself and his sleeping daughter out of the car. The other couple not far behind him as they cross the parking lot and to the store. It was similar to the place he and Makoto had been, but a lot bigger with tons of baby stuff, clothes toys anything you could think of to raise a child and more.

Haruka didn't even know were to start, but wandered toward the cribs and play pens, the car seat hooked at his elbow and resting on one hip. Prices were high on everything, somehow he picked out bottles and formula, with the help of a worker. Aiichirou and Rin joined back up with him in the clothing area, were Haruka was deciding on a few outfits just to start with, he was saving the bulk of baby shopping to enjoy with Makoto, who would be really excited and he didn't want his boyfriend to miss out on anything. 

By this time, his daughter had woken up and was reaching out for things with small hands, little fingers flexing before taking in every detail that was Haruka. He couldn't help but smile at her. He wasn't sure if he was being bias or if she was really as beautiful as he thought she was. Her eyes watched him and where a lighter shade of green then Makoto's, the little hair she had was a lovely light blond color. 

“She is so sweet Haruka!” Aiichirou smiled too, he was holding his son protectively while Rin pushed a cart with the car seat in the front, while the basket was full of what had to be a good part of the store. Everything from baby shampoo, diapers, even a rubber duck and rubber shark bath toys. <./p>

”I picked out a crib and they sent it up front for us.” Haruka told them. 

“The cribs here are nice, we got ours last week.:Rin nodded, trailing off into a grumble. “Took me hours to get the damn thing together though.” 

“Oh! I grabbed you a box of diapers her size.” Aiichirou told him, “I noticed you didn't grab a cart.”

“Thanks.” Haruka said, “I wasn't planning on finding as much as I did...”

“No problem,” Aiichirou rocked the boy gently, who looked like he might have exhausted himself enough to sleep. “I've been looking forward buying him stuff, I can't wait to take him home and show off his room!”

“I even took the week off of work, so I could spend more time with my beautiful boys.” Rin said, “ready for some sleepless nights?” 

“No different then usual, I'm sure.” Haruka admitted, though having a baby to keep him up at night sounded a lot better then endless nightmares that seemed to drag him into the depths of nothingness. “the company will be nice.” 

“Things are really falling into place.” Aiichirou commented, smiling lovingly at the sleepy boy that was finally in his arms. He looked like everything he every wanted was there with him, standing next to Rin with their baby. Haruka couldn't help but silently agree, he had Makoto again...after everything that happened. And amazingly, he had the twins...which wouldn't have been possible without Kotone and now...the sweet baby girl, whose leaf green eyes stared up at him. 

“I'm staving, lets go get something to eat.” Rin was grinning, breaking though Haruka's thoughts. He was gazing at his family with loving eyes, taking a moment to gently run a finger over his baby's soft cheek and kiss his boyfriend sweetly on the mouth. 

**B** _etween the three of them,_ they somehow managed to drag everything to the car followed by much screaming from both children being stuck in line far to long. They piled into Rin's car and crossed the street to the nearest family restaurant. All three parents fell into chairs when the waitress showed them to their table, Aiichirou sat close to Haruka and taught him how to start a bottle, the girl happily taking them to heat up.

“Thank you.” Haruka called after her gently rocking his daughter, attempting to sooth her crying, which he felt was breaking his heart. It didn't take long for her to return, hand a bottle each to Haruka and Aiichirou.

”I can take your order if you are ready.” She said, pen ready to start writing.

Rin ordered and then asked what the other two might be in the mood for, before thanking the waitress and handing her the three menus back. The children quieted down, drinking deeply from the warm bottles. Haruka watched contentedly, only vaguely aware of his friends talking adamantly.

“How did Makoto take the news?” Rin asked grinning and pulling Haruka from feeding his daughter.

”Makoto...seemed thrilled honestly.” Haruka says, smiling lightly.

”He must really love you Haru.” Aiichirou turns his head towards him, face bight and happy.

“I think so.” Haruka admitted quietly.

”I'm happy for you.” Rin says, his eyes always seem to brim up with emotions. “...if I'm being honest, I was hopping you would find something to make you smile like that, I've watch you sinking for too long.

”Rin.” Haruka looks away from his friends, knowing how lucky hes been to have the pair. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Yes, I'm here...feeling incredibly sorry. To recap, I had a ton happen in real life...met a wonderful man, we moved because I lost my job...found two new jobs and got married. Somehow...three years just slipped by me.
> 
> If anyone is still around for this update, thank you~!


	26. Together

**“H** _oney,” Makoto whispered._ Haruka barley heard it down the hall, the apartment door clicking lightly. 

“It's okay, she's awake.” Haruka called, from the bedroom. There was a shuffle from the other room as he heard the boys slip out of coats and run for the living room.

“Emi, this is Chika!” Was exclaimed excitedly, followed by the sound of his boyfriend walking towards him.

“Hey, hows it been?” Makoto asked, sliding next to him on the bed.

“Can't complain,” Haruka tells him honestly, leaning back into his boyfriends frame. His daughter was resting in front of them, pillows on either side of her small body on the large bed. At the moment, she flexed her fingers slowly currently uninterested in Makoto's arrival.

“Hello little one,” Makoto greeted, his head resting on Haruka's shoulder.

“...Kotone” Haruka whispered, gnawing a little on the inside of his cheek. “Her papers weren't finalized, so I was allowed to fill in her name...”

He felt Makoto breath in sharply, his boyfriend didn't say anything for a moment, simply holding him tighter to let him know everything was okay.

“Thank you...” Makoto breathed out, shakily. 

“Felt right,” Haruka said, “plus, I think it's pretty.” 

Makoto nodded, as well as he could without disrupting them. “Welcome to the family, Kotone.” 

Haruka smiled, his heart feeling full, after so many years of emptiness.

“My mum has something coming to her.” Haruka said, “she gave me a credit card a few years back.” 

“mmm?” Makoto mumbled, a smile evident in his tone. 

“I've never used it, but tomorrow, I'm going shopping for Kotone.” Haruka finished.

“She's gonna regret wanting grandkids.” Makoto said, “want me to go with you?” 

“Yes, please. I have some idea of the things I'll need, but back up would be nice.” 

Haruka nodded, watching Kotone kick, letting her foot nudge his hand. “I did pick up a crib today, maybe you can help be figure it out after dinner?”

“Sure, hun.” Makoto sighed happily, “Our family has grown so big...”Haruka shuddered presently from the breath of air that tickled over his neck. His eyes slipped closed, feeling his boyfriends even inhales and exhales, each perfect and very Makoto. He could listen for hours, resting in a happiness he didn't think would ever find.

“I love you.” Haruka told him, eyes opening so he could turn toward the larger man. He notice that Kotone had drifted off to sleep, holding the index finger of Makoto's left hand hand with a firm grip. 

“I love you, too.” Makoto says, looking directly at him with a breath taking smile of honestly. 

“Dad!” the boys called at the same time, breaking though the moment between them. “something smells really good, whats for dinner?” 

“Your stuck, I'll go.” Haruka says, feeling a smile quirking the edge of his mouth. He slipped away from his boyfriend slowly, so he didn't rock the bed. He looked back once, Makoto singing softly when Kotone shifted in her sleep. Haruka smiled this time, walking down the hall way and into the living room. 

“The baby is sleeping.” he whispered to the boys, they were sitting on the couch with Chika between them, her purrs louder then anything in the room. 

“Will we get to meet her?” Etsuko asked lowly, continuing to pet the peaceful cats fur. 

“Yes, maybe after dinner.” Haruka nodded, “are you hungry?” They both nodded at the same time. 

“Dad is an amazing cook Emi, just wait.” Haruka turned towards the smell of food, being called 'dad' sinking right to his heart warmly. 

“Go wash up boys and I'll set everything out on the table.” Haruka told them. 

“Okay!” They said, Etsuko showing Emi to the bathroom. Haruka could hear Makoto washing up was well, their whispers drifting down the hall. When all three of them walked out, he had dinner set out on the table. Makoto smiled, striding forward to kiss Haurka gently. 

“Thank you,” he said, “for inviting us to dinner.”

“You're welcome.” Haruka said, everyone sitting down comfortably. “Is she alright?”

“She's fine.” Makoto assures, while they help the boys fill there plates. “sleeping soundly.” 

“The pillows will work for now right...?” Haruka asked, worrying that maybe it had been a silly idea. 

“Yes.” Makoto nodded, “she hasn't learned to roll over yet, she's a little young for that. I'll help you with the crib and set it up at the foot of the bed for you.” 

“....Thank you.” Haruka whispered, ducking his head to eat. “...stay the night?” 

“...If you don't mind...” Makoto nodded. 

“I want you to.” Haruka says to his plate, “the boys can sleep in the guestroom.”

“Can we watch a movie together?” Emi asked, looking up from his mostly finished dinner.

“And pop corn?” Etsuko added. 

“Sure, if it's alright with Makoto.” Haruka looked toward his boyfriend. 

“Sounds perfect to me.” the brunet nodded. 

**H** _aruka was changing_ his first diaper while Makoto sat in the pile of parts that almost resembled a crib, Kotone gurgled at him and fussed alittle but otherwise seemed intent on watching her other father work. Emi was drawing and Etsuko was playing cards nearby, everybody glancing up to see how Makoto was doing. 

“Success!” Makoto exclaimed, wiggling the last few parts together and testing the stability of the finished project. Etsuko clapped for his father and smiled, Emi looked and said, “Good job, dad.” 

“Thanks, hun.” Haruka said, he would refrain from telling Rin that Makoto had put the crib together in less then an hour. “I would have been fighting with it for hours....without you.” 

“You're welcome.” Makoto said, moving the crib to the foot of the bed, glancing at the clock. “Well, we still have time for that movie.” The boys perked up and put away their things, before heading into the living room. 

Haruka gently lifted Kotone and stood up from the bed, Makoto smiled and placed a hand at his lower back encouraging him to walk head. Haruka read how to make up a bottle, remembering what Aiichirou had taught him, while Makoto made pop corn and all of them deciding on a movie.

After the noise had died down and all of them cuddled on the couch in front of the tv, Haruka sighed glancing up from Kotone to the rest of his family. He couldn't ever have imagined being this happy, this content. Makoto looked at him, feeling his eyes; and every time this man smiled at him, Haruka could feel all the dark clouds that had ever chased him dispersing. And he knew, that for the fist time in years, he would sleep okay...with Makoto pulled close and warm in their bed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I've been working on this for ages, a lot of it is done, most of it is under editing. I wanted to get a lot of it down, before I posted it, so anyone who started reading wouldn't have to wait long for updates. I'm not sure how often I'll post, but I'm going to try keeping things regular. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Buy Me a Coffee](https://ko-fi.com/F1F0AHM9)  
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> For story updates: [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ChinaDoll2522)


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